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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

10 weeks until dh is out, I need advice on...

11 replies

RainbowDashMustDie · 27/03/2014 11:31

...how not to murder him in the meantime!

We have decided on a trial separation but need to wait until we've saved enough money before he can leave.

Anyone else got any tips on how to manage the day to day stuff? It seems that now I've made the decision I just want him out. 10 weeks seems ages away.

OP posts:
bigredstapler · 27/03/2014 11:47

I posted a very similar thread last night. Tips on living with stbxh. It is the not comittting murder that is the hard part!

EmbarrassingPoo · 27/03/2014 11:52

I had to do this for a while...

I made my bedroom (the spare room) very lovely and put a TV in there.
I also tried to go somewhere in the evenings and tried to encourage him to without much success.
And I did a lot of work at home. I was probably employee of the month.
I would also eat before he got home from work

DO NOT do his laundry!

Original poster
RainbowDashMustDie · 27/03/2014 12:03

Thanks bigred missed that! Will go have a look. We live in a 2 bed. 3dcs in big bedroom, us in the small. I can't get away!

OP posts:
SolidGoldBrass · 27/03/2014 12:19

Can't he go and stay with friends or his mum or something? Or is he dragging his feet as he doesn't intend to leave anyway?

Original poster
RainbowDashMustDie · 27/03/2014 12:40

This is really how it has to be unfortunately. I think I need to start going out in the evenings more. Might even start swimming or something. Getting fitter will be a good side effect as well as keeping distance. Sharing a bed is a bit soul destroying when I want him gone though.

OP posts:
AuroraSim · 27/03/2014 13:17

Can u stick him on the sofa? Blow up bed in the front room.

Sorry OP sounds awful x

SolidGoldBrass · 27/03/2014 17:14

That does sound grim. Does he behave himself in bed or do you have to keep slapping wandering hands?

Original poster
RainbowDashMustDie · 27/03/2014 17:21

No he's good. I still love him. Its more difficult for me I think. Couldn't have him in the front room because of the kids. I'm just going to tough it out

OP posts:
hamptoncourt · 27/03/2014 22:12

What do you mean when you say "couldn't have him in front room cos of kids?"

Do they not know you are splitting? How old are they?

If they are older you should be telling them the truth. If they are younger just say daddy has been snoring so he/you have been sleeping on the sofa. They probably won't be as interested as you think!!

I did it for about the same amount of time and it was hard. XH resented everything I did and seemed to veer between denial we were splitting, and simmering hatred of me.

I remember the dog got an awful lot of walks!!!

Amicus1966 · 27/03/2014 22:21

My DCs think I sleep downstairs because their dad snores. I bottled it and said "yes it keeps me awake".
It is hard and some days you just want to stab them with a teaspoon in the eye but just keep counting down the hours till he goes.

SolidGoldBrass · 28/03/2014 12:43

Why are you getting rid of him, OP? You say you still love him - if he's going because he has OW (or indeed OM) then he can sod off there, surely.

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