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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Next door's gardener has propositioned me.

88 replies

FR1 · 24/03/2014 15:26

I say hello when I see him and that's it.

Today he was working down the road at another house and flagged me down. Handed me a letter (unaddressed) which he said not to open then (was in car en route to work) and it said he thinks about me all the time & would I like to go for coffee or maybe a walk in the woods! Shock

I'm happily married. I have to tell DH don't I!

OP posts:
Bahhhhhumbug · 25/03/2014 10:39

Enough now , stop it ! I have to go shopping on my own and a silly smirk will keep breaking out like I'm the local nutter or something.

FR1 · 25/03/2014 10:54

Grin Grin Grin

OP posts:
Ivehearditallnow · 25/03/2014 16:19

I love everything about this thread!

Emilycee · 25/03/2014 16:35

This thread reminds me of Desperate Housewives and Gaby's hot gardener!

Loving the smut and pictures - and laughing my head off at shed rocking side to side! (grin)

NymodigFruOla · 25/03/2014 17:10

Yeah, Hearts, how come you've got two gardeners? Grin

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 25/03/2014 17:19

Two gardeners.

Nothing fancy or particularly interesting I'm afraid.

One at work - actually more than one, they are a whole team of very alternative-lifestyle 20-somethings with dreds, those big hoops in their earlobes, hemp clothing and lots of piercings Grin We are a primary school, we have flower beds, vegetable patches and fruit trees, mature trees, hedges, saplings, nature areas, composting, tubs of flowers, etc etc. The other day we had some sprouting broccoli from the garden, twas delish. The main gardener runs the after-school gardening club. Actually he (gardener) is not too bad but sadly pongs to high heaven because due to alternative lifestyle and values does not believe in deodorant Grin

Gardener at home - only because DH and I would fight constantly about state of garden otherwise. Gardener keeps everything trimmed and cut back and mulched (all the heavy work) and I get to swan about in floaty dresses deadheading a rose bush here, picking lilacs there, planning where to scatter the tulip bulbs next season etc. Gardener is 50s, nice enough man but scared of his own shadow. We inherited him with the house when we bought it back in 2005. I think he's been doing the garden for about 20 years.

I could make up a post that is more exciting than the reality?

NymodigFruOla · 25/03/2014 17:24

That sounds really fun! I'm mega impressed Smile

Blossomflowers · 25/03/2014 17:42

This thread made me spit my tea out. soooo funny.

Ivehearditallnow · 25/03/2014 17:48

The only gardeners on my street are doing community service! Grin

Northernlurker · 25/03/2014 18:08

I think a walk in the woods was clearly code for 'fancy an al fresco shag' but no harm done. Your dh will have to look to his laurels (arf) if he wants to keep your attention and not get pruned (arf, arf)

Ivehearditallnow · 25/03/2014 18:18

Northern Grin

FR1 · 25/03/2014 21:33

Grin Northern

OP posts:
enriquetheringbearinglizard · 25/03/2014 22:22

I've been smiling at this thread and shared it with DH who added his own double entrendres.

Reality here though is that the garden is unruly and needs the attention of some hardworking and strong bodies. I don't even care if there's a whiff of too much testosterone about them.

Send Supplies Please.

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