I've been in a relationship just over a year. Everything happened very quickly, one day I was single, the next he was staying over and here most of the time. Unusual for me as I don't rush into anything. On a good day, we're like best friends. We can talk for hours, we like the same music, we know the same people, same sense of humour, we like the same things, know what the other one is thinking. We are very similar people. It should be perfect, I can't say I've ever met anyone I clicked with so well. I've been Ill a lot the last year and he's been great in looking after me.
But it's far from perfect, we argue a lot. He's like Jekyll and Hyde. He's very intense, will tell me how much he loves me over and over then the next minute he's screaming in my face over something daft. The goalposts are always moving, I think I've gotten used to the things that aggravate him and avoid doing them (we all have our silly gripes, for me it's anyone leaving wrappers about for example) but then the next day it'll be something different.
I feel used and unappreciated. I make his sandwiches for work, I clean the house all day every day, two kids a dog and four cats make a lot of mess! He comes in, his tea is cooked then all night I'm up and down making him cups of tea, fetching him drinks, running his bath. Ok it's not difficult but it means I never get time to relax properly. He works long hours I appreciate that but I spend all day on my own scrubbing the bloody house and he comes in, eats tea then falls asleep. He doesn't earn much money, when he gets paid every month it's all gone on bills for his own house. I have to budget for us for food and I don't have much money as I was made redundant then I had health issues that have made it difficult to find work.
I just can't see a future for us. He talks about getting married but I know that's never going to happen, he can't afford a ring let alone a wedding. I'm blamed for everything, I'm lazy, I'm a useless partner....when I bring up the fact I've had payday loans to keep us and he hasn't contributed a penny he'll go on about how he'll drive me anywhere I need to go (I can't drive) and how he looks after me when me health is playing up (he does).
I'm asking honestly because I've never had a relationship like this. I've only ever lived with one person and then I was a lone parent for 15 years. Are these normal gripes that couples work at, or is something very wrong?