working late again apparently

[BitsinTatters]

Every Friday night and every bloody night this week even though he's apparently exhausted. Too exhausted to have sex with me.

Told me he was leaving work at 6 would be home for 7. We have guests arriving... no sign

No phone call to say he's leaving work or text etc he used to text me to say was getting to his car

Nothing

All week

He does a professional job but II'm not stupid. They all leave early on a Friday. If he was working late he'd answer his phone or the text to tell me but just dropping off the radar and turning up when he feels like to and treating me like tree help is pissing me off so fucking much.

And I would put money on it that it's the woman in his office who they have had a few texts I've seen too close to the mark in the past which I've confronted him about

I'm fucking seething

What a fool.

He might be trying to blame this on you in his head. Make you out to be the bad guy so he can absolve himself of guilt. Which is clearly bull.

Don't rise to it. Stay calm and do what you need to. Smile if you can because you're not a fool.

Hope ur okay OP. Sounds like you are at the end of your tether now. You need to have it out with him, that's not on. Has he offered you any explanation as to why he was late tonight?

I agree you don't need proof. It's the way you're being made to feel.

You are worth more than another human being taking the piss- let alone your partner.

The text 10 mins after birth is the most disrespectful thing I've read on here in a while.

Op- take control, tell him he needs to be honest about his feelings towards you'd relationship or leave. Stonewalling is not an option.

I see no value looking at phones,trying to get proof.your feelings matter,you feel ill treated

It sounds like he doesn't respect you at all OP. DH and I went through a horrible period like this after I had DD and wasn't at work. What is the situation with his colleague? Is she married?

Bonbon - at a work thing I attended (a bbq at his boss house with all his team) last summer 2013 she was single. DP has told me since that she's met some one. I can't remember why or how it came about but I asked I think and he said she met some one online

Probably bullshit.

She's the same level as him. They work directly together

People who work together spend a lot of time together. It is not abnormal to become friends or share some stuff. I wouldnt, on their own, take those messages as immediate proof of an affair.

BUT he isn't listening, he is ignoring your feelings and needs, telling you lies and, in general, acting like a twat.

You dont need to prove he is having an affair to want to end the relationship.

Well I'm now going to bed. His phone isn't where it normally is on charge. So he's either left it in his car or its in his pocket. We shall see.

Tbh,she's immaterial.its your partner who has responsibilities,and is hurting you

So when you'd just given birth and he should have been in a little bubble with you, ten minutes later his thoughts were for some random that you'd already had issues with, someone he knows you would have hated him thinking of at that moment. And he texted her letting her into that precious time, giving her a window into those precious moments?

He'd be history for that. Gone. If she's in his head at that moment... He's not a partner.

I hope you find what you want, or don't find what you don't want.

Trust your instincts. I knew the second I saw a women (girl) my H worked with something was going on! No one believed me, low and behold, a week later it's all come out! A women's intuition is the best

I have to agree with brunobrookes, I went a bit cold when I read that he did that - at that moment.

It sounds like your DP is either very gullible and can't see that his actions are causing hurt or he is just insensitive.

I'm not sure you'll get answers if his reaction is to stonewall but I hope you find some peace in the decision you make.

Has he turned up?

Sorry, the thread didn't update until I posted.

Take it easy, try & get some sleep, you'll need all your energy tomorrow

Pass word for phone has been changed

Oh dear bad sign.

:(

What are you wanting to do today op? Are you going to try to talk to him?? Hope you're ok and got some sleep.

I don't think you need any proof do you? He has not got any respect for you ( sorry) I think people look for evidence so they know that they made the right decision, however your really unhappy and he's treating you badly, that's enough.

As for the text after you had your baby, that's certainly good reason.

Tell him to leave, tell him you deserve better. Life is so short, really it is.

Sorry he's a shit.

Wake the asshole up and demand to know what he is playing at! Don't let him get away with that!

pasword change on blackberry arent unusual if its a work phone - they force password changes every 30/60days for security reasons. bruno the woman is hardly a random if she works with him every day...

Sorry you are going through this. I hope you get the answers you need.

So he changed the password prob because he knows ur on to him. I never knew the password of my ex's phone so we sat down for breakfast I asked for the phone and the password. He refused at first but when I have him an ultimatum he gave me the password and it was all there texts emails phone log the lot plus his internet history showed he had been looking a flats to rent. Make him give u the password!

Onesie- my ex would NEVER have handed his phone over, in fact he didnt even as I was telling him to go and he was packing. My ex was a stonewaller. If ops ex is a non communicator/ stone Waller he will just refuse.