Do you trust your H/P 100%?

[LayMeDown]

I don't. I don't trust anyone 100%. My thinking is humans are not perfect, we are all flawed and corruptable and capable of mistakes. I think it is foolish, as an adult to completely trust or rely on another human.
I admit that due to previous experiences my thoughts may be skewed on this though. DH and I have been discussing this and he is pretty hurt that I dont 100% trust him. He argues that he has given me no reason to distrust him. He has been a loving and loyal partner for over 12 years and he deserves my trust.
I trust him as more than I trust anyone else in the world. I believe him to be a good honourable person. I am as sure as I can be that he has never and never intends to be unfaithful to me. But I am not capable of putting all my faith in someone, I have to hold something back. I am surprised this is news to him tbh, I have always been like this.
Am I weird and damaged?

To people who don't completely trust, "If you don't trust your husband 100%, how does the missing percentage manifest itself?"

No, my DH has had an affair in the past so of course I don't trust him 100%. Then again I don't trust anyone 100%. To do so would be remarkably naive. People are not perfect, we have all told lies, we have all done things that with the benefit of hindsight we are not proud of. Post his affair I think I actually trust him more. That probably sounds weird to all but those in a similar position. We have been through the trauma and made it work again, so we both know what's at stake. He's had one chance, he doesn't get another.

Logg1e the missing percentage manifests itself in that I have done my crying over past hurt, and the thought of life without him doesn't scare me. I never check up, snoop or worry. If either of us wants out the door is open. I no longer believe marriage is for life, I believe it is for as long as the relationship is working. This feeling of freedom is remarkably liberating. I am 99% sure he won't cheat, but then with a new partner I'd probably only be about 50%.

The 'missing percentage' for me, is less than 1%…

It doesn't manifest itself, but human nature means we cannot predict what another person will or won't do.

Yes I absolutely trust him to put the happiness and best interests of me and the DC first 100% of the time.

I don't trust him not to pinch the last biscuit, but I can live with that

Yup, I trust him totally. He wouldnt do anything to intentionally hurt me or cause me any pain. Right now anyway, I cant say what will happen in ten years.

I used to be that paranoid wreck who would sit up at night while he was on a night out, wondering what he was up to, who he was with etc, bombard him with texts about when he was coming home, wonder who he was texting when his phone went. I used to have nightmares where he would cheat on me and wake up crying. It didnt do me any favours at all, its horrible feeling like that.

I cant even say when it all changed, but one day I thought to myself, if he's going to cheat, he'll do it whether or not I act like this. Theres no point. And since then I've realised he wont cheat on me, I have never been cheated on before as far as I know so I have no idea where the insecurity came from.

I dont trust him to take the bins out though. Thats his only job at home and he never does it grrr.

worsester that sounds really healthy and positive. I thought the missing percentages would be checking up on him every now and again, checking the phone or just a little nagging doubt if he goes out etc. I choose not to live like that.
But your answer sounds to be that the missing percentage is just a rod of steel going up your backbone, or a thin coating of titanium armour that should the relationship end you know you're strong enough to survive.

Logg1e I like that analogy! Pretty much sums up my thinking.

It's not something I could ever put a percentage on, you either trust someone or not.

I do trust my DP to do the right things, whatever they may be, that is not to say everything done will be in my best interests, but that is irrelevant. I trust myself less than I trust my DP, but then I look at some of my past mistakes and can see why.

I haven't always done the right thing, or indeed the sensible thing, and have let myself be driven by emotion rather than logic, as have most people. I'm sure my DP would think the same about themselves, but I'm also sure would trust me to do the right thing too, whatever it happened to be.

Ahhh a real life 70's (or 80's) sitcom

(John Alderton and Pauline Collins, My Wife Next Door) IIRC

oops wrong thread don't know how that happened sorry

bobby It's not something I could ever put a percentage on, you either trust someone or not.

But you could put a percentage on that, you'd just have a choice of either 0% or 100% .

I'm sad to say I would never trust anyone 100% again. I would have written some of these posts a few months ago and said I completely trusted my DH, he was my best friend and the best husband in the world as far as I was concerned.

Fast forward 6 months and the discovery that he had a 9 month affair with a colleague and the rose tinted spectacles have been well removed. Sadly I think that quite alot of people given the right (or wrong) situation would give into temptation but I hope to be proved wrong in the future.