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Original poster

Do you trust your H/P 100%?

87 replies

LayMeDown · 11/03/2014 15:07

I don't. I don't trust anyone 100%. My thinking is humans are not perfect, we are all flawed and corruptable and capable of mistakes. I think it is foolish, as an adult to completely trust or rely on another human.
I admit that due to previous experiences my thoughts may be skewed on this though. DH and I have been discussing this and he is pretty hurt that I dont 100% trust him. He argues that he has given me no reason to distrust him. He has been a loving and loyal partner for over 12 years and he deserves my trust.
I trust him as more than I trust anyone else in the world. I believe him to be a good honourable person. I am as sure as I can be that he has never and never intends to be unfaithful to me. But I am not capable of putting all my faith in someone, I have to hold something back. I am surprised this is news to him tbh, I have always been like this.
Am I weird and damaged?

OP posts:
Joysmum · 12/03/2014 21:53

Trust them in what, are we only talking fidelity here?

morethanpotatoprints · 12/03/2014 21:57

Yes, as SirChenjin aptly puts it.
We have been married for 22 years though and know one another pretty well. There seems no need to not trust each other.
I am only speaking for dh as I just asked him, for this thread.

SirChenjin · 12/03/2014 22:11

DH (of 20 years) has just seen this thread and asked why I said 99.9999999%. I explained that I don't think he'd be able to say no to a proposition from Kylie Minogue. His response? "No, you're right - but I would ask you to make up a threesome. Would that still count?"

Hmm
Sallystyle · 12/03/2014 22:23

I trust him as much as I will ever be able to trust a human being.

Humans fuck up and sometimes badly.

I think it is naive to trust anyone 100%.

I don't go around thinking he will cheat on me or hurt me, the likelihood that he will in minute and he has never done anything in 8 years not to trust him, but I am not silly enough to think any human being will always be 100% trustworthy. Myself included.

So many people say they trusted their husband 100% and then got cheated on. I have yet to meet anyone who has been cheated on who at one time didn't have full trust in their partner. The 'I know he will never cheat' line makes me laugh.. like you can predict what could happen ten years down the line with another human being who you have no control over.

I have seen far too many people refuse to see the signs of cheating until years have gone past because they put complete trust in someone.

I trust him 99.9999% and we have a great marriage where I have never needed to question his trustworthiness but I will never say with 100% certainty that any human being is 100% trustworthy all of the time.

Sallystyle · 12/03/2014 22:26

is minute*

Chattymummyhere · 12/03/2014 23:03

I don't trust anyone, as a child who was messed up put in the care system then out again to abusive partners, mentally unstable dad, a toxic family who cut one another off over cards, make threats, spread lies and gossip about lies ect

The only thing I trust in this life is my love for my children.

I'm cold hearted basically, I'm the one at a funeral dry faced, I'm the one with a brick wall around heart because it has been broken by pretty much everyone I thought I could rely on even as a young baby from social service reports.

Logg1e · 12/03/2014 23:12

I don't know, because I'd have to think about it. I do know that I behave as though I have 100% trust though. Does that make sense? I just couldn't live life any other way.

Bogeyface · 12/03/2014 23:16

Nope. Fool me once and shame on you, fool me twice......

I am like you OP, I dont think I have ever truly trusted anyone 100%, I always assume a hidden agenda. Sad really because it is my early life that left me with that level of distrust and my H cheating on me to confirm it (he was probably the only person I came close to trusting 100%).

NoodleOodle · 12/03/2014 23:19

Yes, I trust DP 100%. I don't expect perfection from him though, which maybe helps a bit?

Bogeyface · 12/03/2014 23:22

Oh and I dont trust myself 100% either, I know what goes on in my head, I know how close I have come to doing the wrong thing before.

JonesTheSteam · 12/03/2014 23:28

I did.

Look where it got me...

onlyjoking9329 · 12/03/2014 23:33

I guess it depends a lot on your history of relationships.
I trusted my DH 100%, as he trusted me! when he was ill for three years and things were very bad! I never considered cheating, I stuck to my marriage vows, in sickness and in health! he died of cancer.
In time I met someone else, there is 100% trust and respect on both sides! they are fundamental in my eyes.

bragmatic · 13/03/2014 01:33

I don't really think about it. I trust him, that's it. If I didn't I wouldn't be here. I've never considered percentages.

Newjobthankgod · 13/03/2014 02:56

No. Men are something less than human and closer to being dumb animals, controlled by their dicks.

I do honestly believe that they are biologically hardwired to throw their wives and children underneath a train if it was a way to get them balls deep into a fresh 18 year old.

I have never been cheated on to my knowledge but I do not believe men are biologically wired to be able to put anything first except their own gratification. Not even the people they profess to "love" could ever come first.

I think deep down everyone knows it. And I think it is why men get treated like second class citizens in the family courts. They pretty much deserve to. Everyone knows that no man could prioritize the well being of his children or their mother above sexual gratification. They couldn't do it any more than a chimpanzee could.

I wouldn't tell my other half this though LOL.

Newjobthankgod · 13/03/2014 02:57

he doesn't need to know how truly sexist I am. I'm right though. Women and children will always suffer a great deal because of how men are wired.

Logg1e · 13/03/2014 06:55

Fuck, your opinion is offensive.

Branleuse · 13/03/2014 07:10

no i dont.
i love him and he loves me, and i dont think he has any intention of cheating, and i know hes got enough self control to resist any temptation if he wanted to. I would never put 100% trust in anyone. I think that would be very naive. Things can change for anyone

BitOutOfPractice · 13/03/2014 07:21

I trust mine. But not 100%. Because I agree that that isn't necessarily viable.

I trust him 99% and so I focus day to day on the 99% not the 1%.

But I, like many many women on here with bitter experience would never say again "I know he wouldn't cheat in me. He's not that kind of man. And he never has an opportunity as I always know where he is." Pah! I said that. And I was wronger than wrong.

StickEmUpBigStyle · 13/03/2014 07:24

How much I trust DH has never crossed my mind. I don't see any reason it should be a consideration (for me maybe)

Oliverthetrain · 13/03/2014 07:36

I've trust my ex so much for so many years
He had used and abused mine trust to the maximum extent
When I'd finally realize it I'd felt like the biggest naive full
I've won the price
Full of year and everything just because I've decided to trust someone 100%

Wishyouwould · 13/03/2014 07:39

When I took my wedding vows I believed 100% that my H would love and cherish me, he didn't. It's not just about infidelity. I know he was faithful to me but what good was that then he was abusive to me?

Wishyouwould · 13/03/2014 07:40

*when

ZanyMobster · 13/03/2014 09:37

Logg1e I totally agree re the acting like you have 100% trust.

For me it is not necessarily just about cheating, I would be shocked if DH did actually cheat on me, there are other things that come under trust for me and they are the things that take me under the 100% trust level.

Also I would say I am 100% sure I can trust DH with regards to cheating at this point in time but there is no way i can vouch for 10 years time.

CuChullain · 13/03/2014 09:59

Thought of not trusting Mrs CuChullain has never really crossed my mind. Does that equate to 100% trust, probably not, but it would be very close to 100%. Either way, it is not something I lose sleep over. Some of the responses here are a bit depressing really.

ZanyMobster · 13/03/2014 10:31

I agree CuChullain, I would not be able to be with someone I do not trust as I am a natural worrier so would be utterly miserable.

It does surprise me how many people live like this though but it surprises me more how many say they trust their OH absolutely 100%.