My first love, oh gosh, this is sooooo sad.
We were friends from 11 at school and started dating in secret when we were about 15 and a half. We went public after three months as we knew that our friends would not react well, my BF absolutely hated him. He was absolutely lovely, spitting image of Steve Backshall and very well hung (I thought all men would be like that). He was my first in every sense of the word and we split up after 9 months as he was told (and believed unfortunately) by my "BF" that on NYE at a party I had slept with someone at a party, when actually it had been her. I had actually been babysitting three year old twins for my neighbours and was not even at the sodding party.
The truth came out two weeks after we split up, but we never got back together again. In actual fact he never spoke to me, he would look at me but never talk to me. Sixteen year old me just assumed that he still believed I had cheated so just ignored him.
Anyhow, we left school and he joined the Army, but the weekend before he left for basic he gatecrashed my birthday party and on the day he joined up he turned up at sixth form asking for a lift to the station (I had just past my driving test). He said nothing in the car whatsoever, got out the car and said nothing and didn't even look back I was devastated. I cried for weeks,
Well, we got in contact through Friends Reunited in 2002. Met up and he was adamant that he had written to me from the Army, how he had always loved me. I had left the my home town quite young and not kept in touch with anyone and he had tried to find where I was. Ashamed to say that I did not believe him (I had just been dumped by an abusive ex and had four children under four, so I was very emotional) I thought I was being played. He started crying in front of me, telling me that he had always tried to find me (I had left the area) and confessing to sleeping with my ex-BF sometimes when he was on leave the first couple of years he was in the Army. I was so angry because I had seen her, been on holiday with her and she had never told me.
Well, we have never got in contact again after that night, and exactly a year after we met up he got married to the sister of his best friend and now has children. I found her on FB and she is the very similar to me it is quite startling.
So anyway, a couple of years later (I was still single mum at this point) I was at my Mums house and going through an old bureau in the garage looking for childhood photos and found a bundle of letters in a brown envelope from him that she had never given me. First one is dated the week after I dropped him at the station....
They are upstairs in my wardrobe, I have never opened them and I never will.....