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Relationships

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Original poster

Online Dating

16 replies

mrselfridge · 26/02/2014 14:26

Do you find it is essential to have photo's up on an online dating profile in order to get good results? I am always concerned photo's might be stolen and misused.

I still think its better just to use Skype that way you can see in real time who are talking to.

I have tried online dating on and off for the last 6 years but never actually met anyone who is suitable partner material however made a couple of good friends.

OP posts:

treadpattern · 26/02/2014 14:33

Hi , newish on here but have been doing the online dating thing for about 4-5 months, I wouldn't message someone who didn't put up their picture. Looks are not everything, for sure, but you do need an impression of who you want to talk to.

HeirToTheIronThrone · 26/02/2014 14:33

Sorry to say when I was doing it I wouldn't have interacted with someone with no photo - it's like they have something to hide...

Walkacrossthesand · 26/02/2014 14:36

When I dabbled in online dating, I put up a profile pic because I wouldn't message or reply to anyone who didn't have a photo up - too many married men & chancers on these sites, hiding behind 'no pic'. You can set your privacy settings to 'don't make my details visible to non-members' which might be a better way of addressing your concerns.

Original poster

mrselfridge · 26/02/2014 14:39

What about 'water marking' your name on your photo's?

OP posts:

Walkacrossthesand · 26/02/2014 14:42

Like photographers do, to prevent non-authorised copying? I'd be very unkeen for my name to be 'out there' linked with my photo - seems more risky than an anonymous photo!

Dirtybadger · 26/02/2014 14:43

I think it depends what you're looking for. I now have an OLD profile. I don't have a picture. My profile says that I'll happily provide one and I do. Obviously not to the people who I have no interest in. I have nothing to hide but I'm looking for "a bit of fun" sort of thing and work locally in a healthcare (and have seen lots of our patients on there!) so I don't feel comfortable with everyone knowing. Maybe I'm a coward. Anyway it's worked fine- I get a reasonable amount of messages from men intrigued by what I've written and if I send a message to someone I send a link with a couple of picture so they can make an "informed decision" in responding.
If I were looking for a relationship I'd definitely use a picture, though.

Original poster

mrselfridge · 26/02/2014 14:45

You have a good point. You never really know who your talking to on the net whether a profile has a picture or not. I know from experience some of my friends who have met people off sites who have misrepresented themselves!!

OP posts:

Dirtybadger · 26/02/2014 14:46

Oh- but married men will message you. It does expressly say that I am not interested in that on my profile now because of this but some still do it. Ugh!!

jesy · 26/02/2014 15:23

I had my pic up untill recently, I got more messages when I had a picture up .
Pic or not weirdos message you , I had one who suggested I'd be good in adult films lol

itwillgetbettersoon · 26/02/2014 15:54

I couldn't be bothered to contact someone if they didn't have a decent photo up. I just wouldn't waste mr time I'm afraid. So what if a photo gets stolen - chances are minute and you are worrying about something that probably will not happen. OD should be fun.

Only1scoop · 26/02/2014 15:56

Ime if not a photo up....tends to be a reason ....ie married!

Cabrinha · 26/02/2014 16:13

I wouldn't message someone who didn't have a photo. Poll of one!
I only arranged one date before I came off it, and he said he'd broken his "rule" as he wanted more than one photo (in case one not typical, I guess)

ElleDubloo · 26/02/2014 21:31

When I was online dating, I had a photo on my profile. And when I was searching for matches, I only looked at people who had a photo.

However, I was messaged by a guy who seemed interesting, but his profile was brief and he didn't have a photo. We exchanged a few emails. I agreed to meet him because he said he was a lawyer A year and a half later, we're married.

I guess someone's profile photo tells you a lot about his personality, not just his physical looks. You look at his pose, his clothes, his expression, etc. I didn't like the men who looked too flashy or flirty. For my husband, the fact that he didn't have a photo was also a reflection of his personality - introverted but somehow self-assured.

Original poster

mrselfridge · 27/02/2014 10:06

What site did you use by the way ElleDubloo? So far I have found most them a complete waste of time. I have tried online dating for the last 6 years so I think its time to try something different and go back to meeting people through everyday situations. I would like to add I have had photo's up but it didn't make a lot of difference and I wrote a good profile in my opinion. I guess it works for some and not for others. Also I am in a small village so I doubt online dating works unless you live in a big city.

OP posts:

Cannotbelieveit · 27/02/2014 10:14

I used plenty of fish a couple years ago and met my now husband on there (now expecting our DS2), we both had pictures which initially attracted us both

His profile was short and sweet and mine a long list of what I didn't and didn't want! Ultimately it was us talking and our values that meant we got together and the picture was just the catalyst!

Give it another chance!

ElleDubloo · 27/02/2014 21:41

Mrselfridge - I used Match.com - it was just the first one that came to mind and I knew it had lots of members. I was fairly selective about who I met up with, but I still kept an open mind, and I ended up meeting a few interesting people on some enjoyable dates. It took me about 2 months to find my husband.

I wouldn't be surprised that it works better in large cities - higher density of people, much easier to meet up. You end up wasting less time sending emails back and forth before making the effort of travelling ages to meet someone.

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