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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do you "make love" to your partner or "have sex"?

91 replies

deepest · 24/02/2014 14:36

For me its just sex - although the sex is good - it could be anyone - are we just FBs?

OP posts:
RudyMentary · 24/02/2014 14:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MirandaWest · 24/02/2014 14:40

Depends. Sometimes we have sex. Sometimes we make love.

gamerchick · 24/02/2014 14:40

yep both depending on the mood. There's a difference to that slow connecting shizzle and the flinging each other around the bedroom like animals Grin

Neitheronethingortheother · 24/02/2014 14:42

both and then some :)

hootloop · 24/02/2014 14:42

I would say both depending on what we both need. I had an ex who always called it making love but it never felt like that.

HoratiaDrelincourt · 24/02/2014 14:43

I loathe the phrase "make love".

I like having sex, shagging, bonking, fucking, etc. It's allowed to be fun and doesn't have to be a deep spiritual encounter.

Namethischildplease · 24/02/2014 14:43

We have sex.

I can't bear the phrase 'make love'.

It does matter that it's him though. It couldn't 'be anyone'. But everything from a quickie to something more involved is 'sex' to me, not 'making love'.

DownstairsMixUp · 24/02/2014 14:44

Sex. Making love just sounds really naff.

Dahlen · 24/02/2014 14:44

Both. Depends on the context leading up to it. Isn't that part of the fun?

deepest · 24/02/2014 14:46

Thats made me feel a lot better -- dont feel so guilty now - about the love bit !! - I like sex so does he - I was feeling guilty that it was not romantic....

OP posts:
IHateWinter · 24/02/2014 14:48

I suppose the question is does it include lots of long, deep meaningful eye gazing or not.

hellsbellsmelons · 24/02/2014 14:49

Both for me too.
But if this is working for you then that's great.
Nothing wrong with a FB. Nothing at all to feel guilty about. You are both consenting adults!

LisaAYarrow · 24/02/2014 14:50

Weird one. I think it's possible to still be making love during really dirty kinky sex! Depends on your partner I suppose and how you define 'making love' although I agree, the phrase is vomit-worthy.

FracturedViewOfLife · 24/02/2014 14:53

Sex. Definitely.

chrissy74 · 24/02/2014 14:53

depends.
sometimes soft and gentle
sometimes hard and fast

LEMmingaround · 24/02/2014 14:55

We fuck

NowLivingAbroad · 24/02/2014 14:57

Definitely fuck and that's what we say to each other too! Who said the French were romantic?! I hate the phrase "make love" with a passion.

LaurieFairyCake · 24/02/2014 14:58

Shag like bunnies

Let's go bonk

Do you want some sex?

It varies

RandallFloyd · 24/02/2014 14:59

Make lurve
It's the phrase Feathery Strokers whisper in your ear, all breathy like. Bleeeee.

MsIngaFewmarbles · 24/02/2014 15:01

I loathe that phrase. Both though, sometimes in the same session. Depends on both our moods, romantic almost spiritual bonding or filthy fucking, it's all good as long as you're both on the same page :)

ChoccyDigestive82 · 24/02/2014 15:10

Both, sometimes it's passionate, sometimes just pure lust :) either way it's good here :)

Leviticus · 24/02/2014 15:18

Your OP doesn't really match your title. Do you want to know what we call it or if it's ok for you to have sex with someone you don't have feelings for?

HappyAsEyeAm · 24/02/2014 15:22

I've only ever heard the phrase 'make love' once, and that was from my mother.

Out of nowhere, having never talked to me about sex or relationships or anything (well, there was the once, when I had a serious boyfriend at 17, and she said "and don't think I would be willing to give up work and look after any baby", and this was out of nowhere, as we hadn't even had sex yet and wasn't in the context of anything to do with me!

Anyway, out of nowhere, after me saying a few days previously that I had a water infection, she said (on the phone) "After you and [DH] make love, make sure you go and wee ..." ! I nearly died. If we had the kind of relationship where we talked about that kind of thing whilst I was growing up and into adulthood and whatever, it wouldn't have been such a surprise, but for it to come out of nowhere at the age of 32 or so, I was speechless.

Smile
Pobblewhohasnotoes · 24/02/2014 15:38

Sex. I hate the term 'making love'. It makes me cringe a little.

MamOfSteel · 24/02/2014 15:42

Have sex, the term 'making' love is cringey. Or I'll say fancy a shag/fuck?

I don't feel the need for gentle, eye gazing love making. I think DH and I have enough cuddle/talk/hand holding, lovey dovey time outside of sex so that when we do get it on its just lust.