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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

No contact rule

5 replies

macystacy · 21/02/2014 08:46

How do you stop yourself checking someone's facebook page, I don't see the point in blocking as can always unblock. I am only 2 days into my no contact so know this will be a tough time.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/02/2014 08:50

Do other things. Stay off social media. Engage with the real world instead. Find distractions. Blocking FB provides a barrier so do that as well. Delete their phone number for the same reason.

macystacy · 21/02/2014 09:21

Thanks Cognito. I have always loved reading your advice.

Is there a rough timeline for when the no contact becomes particularly hard to keep, like after a couple of weeks or months?

It is a friendship that is already or at least on a slippery slope to Emotional Affair as cannot get him out of my head. Our final message exchange was him asking to meet for coffee and me saying I am busy next week. I already miss him and know how wrong and shit this is but really want to do no contact but fully expect him to be in touch as he has said a couple of times 'we have done nothing wrong'. He may even wait 3 weeks or more but will be in touch once he realises I am not.

Is there any point in time that you can be just friends again?

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/02/2014 09:24

No timeline I'm afraid. Every case is different but I would suggest you throw all your energies into living in the present with whoever it is you're supposed to love. As for being 'just friends' you'll probably only get to that point when you are properly happy in your skin and in your life and the object of your obsession has acquired a bald patch and a spare tyre...

macystacy · 21/02/2014 09:33

Yes the one I am with I don't love, probably why this happened as he was someone who was interested about me and loved playing with my kids, husband can only stand about 30 mins before getting pissed off with kids and has never looked after them for more than a hour by himself, never taken them for an outing alone.

I know I need to and want to leave but need to get back in the workforce first.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/02/2014 09:34

Then I hope you find a job quickly.

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