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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Son

2 replies

talullah57 · 19/02/2014 04:41

Can anyone help please. My son seems to be desperate to lose his virginity. He is nearly 17 so fair enough. HOWEVER, I don't want this happening in my home. What is the problem with him going to girl's home or am I going mad. Son is really really angry with me and have never had prob with him before. I am going through divorce and I feel he is testing me. I don't want that of course.

OP posts:

CogitoErgoSometimes · 19/02/2014 09:02

I was only talking to a friend this morning about the motivation behind young people leaving home and he was quite clear that, around age 19 he was desperate to get his own place so that he could 'bring girls home and shag them' :)

If you're not comfortable with him having sex in your home then you have to be open with him & explain your reasons. You should also talk to him about how have no problem with him having sex outside your home but you expect him to be responsible, use protection, treat women with respect and have self-respect. The girls he dates may have parents who feel similar to you or they may take a different view, of course. If they are more lenient he may decide your restrictions mean he wants to stay at their house more than yours - it's a chance you take. When he has his own place, same as my friend, he can do as he pleases. If he's angry with you, deal with that as a separate matter.

pinkfluffypoodleface · 19/02/2014 09:55

Does he have a girlfriend or is he casting around for someone suitable? Its understandable he wants to lose it, he will be feeling in the minority as his mates will be boasting about their sexual encounters & he wants to join the club. 17 is a more than sensible age.

The problem with him going to the girl's home is that perhaps the girl's mum feels the same as as you. So if they can't do it in either home what then, a car park? Outside somewhere?

Remember that losing your virginity is a massive massive thing when you're a teen & feeling like your the only virgin in the world.

Perhaps I'm in a minority but I want my sons to pass such a big milestone somewhere safe & comfortable & without the risk of arrest. As long as they are discreet I wouldn't mind it happening at home where they are free to take their time & can communicate with their partner, not a rushed & hurried fumble where they are terrified of being discovered. I would probably make sure I went out if I knew it was happening.

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