Drifted apart - what if aything can be done?

[Reminder]

After 20 years of marriage Dh and I just don't feel close anymore.

There are several acknowledged (and probably some unacknowledged) reasons for this and we both know that we are both at fault.

We are very fond of each other still but in a friendly way rather than a romantic way IYSWIM. We both agree we'd like that to change, although neither of us are keen on the grand romantic gesture we would like to get some of the romantic closeness back. Does that make sense?

So, if you think it's possible what do you think we should "do"?

It will take a real big effort from both of you and you will find out if you really want to invest more into this marriage by doing things together! Date nights, walks, communicating your feelings more even if they are uncomfortable etc.... you may find neither of you actually want to try that hard and it's over and that's where you both are at right now. I know one thing, we're all great at saying we will do this and do that to improve our relationships, the proof is in the actions.

It's hard to know what specific suggestions to make without knowing what the reasons are - sex? housework? work/hobbies taking up too much time? Do you have DC and how old? Are you facing a new phase of life generally in any way (DC going to university or similar)?