The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Wading Through Winter Blues Without The Booze!

[Mouseface]

I'm Mouse, nice to meet YOU.

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, it's all up to you. And of course all addictions, so if you are taking drugs of any kind, prescription or otherwise, you're very welcome here too!

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's all in YOUR hands.

Whatever your goal, you'll find unconditional support here. Always. :)

There will be talk of drinking quite often and those who fall off the Bus will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY threads would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers, but EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE :)

There are two sayings that we rather like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

For those of you who'd like some history, here is the very first thread and the reason that we're all here now. FIRST EVER THREAD

And the most recent so you can work your way back through time IS JUST HERE

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, it is honest and it will help you to achieve what it is that YOU seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

Mouse xxx

Very nearly drank tonight,I decided against it but now I'm fed up and hurting damaged my ribs, fed up cold tired and feeling sorry for myself I will be alright tommorow
One day just one day x

Hi all. Just got in from a night out and need to post

First of all Ma, glad you had an amazing night. Wish you had kilt fun photos to post to cheer me up; bet you looked fab in your dress, and well done for organising an amazing night. You rock, wish I had been there.

I'm - hope your ribs recover soon, one day at a time as you say. Well done for resisting temptation, and please let us know your exact birthday as want to fill the bus with balloons and glitter for you !

Anne - just hugs really, you are having a hard time, keep on keeping on and posting xxxx

Mouse - hope the meds sort out soon - less pain is good, side effects not so much. Sending you hugs xxx

Sorry for self-indulgent moan to come, but been out tonight. After terrible day at work (see earlier post) tonight was an actual night out with DH, no, let's be honest, Wankbadger. Bought me tickets for a comedian I like last July on my birthday and it was tonight. Sent kids to his mum's, met me after work, went for a drink (13 days sober until then but had factored this in and only had 3 ciders across the whole night including my interval drink) then off to the show.

Had little to say in the pub - did talk but was polite discussion of the news, have had more animated chats with people I've met in shop queues. Then we went to the event, he didn't laugh once, or join in, then fell asleep in second half. I mentioned I was excited to take DD to Little Mix at the venue in May soon, he went off on a rant about how I spoilt her too much and the reason she was so rude and ungrateful was because I was always treating her. She can be rude (she is Year 6, going into that smartarse tweenager phase), but she is also basically kind and sweet, but I got told off just for saying I was looking forward to taking her to her first concert.

Then on the way back he snapped at me for saying I was taking her to a jewellery course tomorrow (even though DS is out and he is at football, as bloody always), then at his mum's when picking up the kids, he told his mum the show was crap and when she asked me if I had enjoyed it I said yes, but he had fallen asleep (as a joke, although it was true, and I wasn't amused at this point) and he shouted at me in front of him mum for saying it. Kids were quiet on the way home, and wary. I am just so fed up.

I have got him Derren Brown tickets in June, and before that we are going away at Easter for a week (I paid for all 4 of us as usual, he didn't even bother to look at the website links of the resort I sent, and moaned cos he'd rather go away in July which I can't afford). I just wish I was looking forward to it - I would be if it was just me and the kids. Lots of financial and family support issues for me around this, but DD goes to High School in September and I am 46 and do not want to live my life like this.

Wish I had the support and courage to get rid. But with work, no family and everything else, feel paralysed sometimes.

Wishing all you babes a good weekend. Just D'aaargh and double d'aaargh from me

hope hugs from me today
My b day is end of march but tonight is dooms day I should be excited about a double b day celebration with a friend why when theres no alcohol could I not look forward to it so I will be drinking the champagne and I think its going to put me back to square on etc bla de bla ahhhhh

looking my heart goes out to you, I guess what you need to ask yourself is do you love him??? The answer dictates what happens next . I left my husband when dd was 2 with the clothes on my back and my daughter and never ever went back. I had no job no house and no money, I lived in my parents box room for a year and lost 3 stone, got a job and rented a nice little house. If I'd stayed I would have lost my soul forever an it sounds like your losing yours. You are stronger than you think!! As I say a lot depends on love, or if all else fails get Derren Brown to make him disappear..... Big hugs to all my fellow babes xxx

Oh hope, I am so cross for you. He managed to ruin your treat by being a complete wanker. I know you are worried about the children and their care but there may be ways around that. Could you advertise for a cleaner/responsible adult to cover early evening with older children. I realise they don't need babysitting as such but if someone could do your ironing and help them get some tea? You may find someone applies who is a surrogate granny. The cost couldn't be much more than supporting WB the whole time. I am sorry if none of that is realistic but just want to help you feel that you are not completely trapped. Hope you and dd enjoy the jewellery course today xx

Im please give this some thought honey. There is no point in having champagne if you will spend each sip thinking that you are entering a downward spiral. If you are going to drink it then consider it a special occasion/one off situation and see it as 1 night out of 30, soon to be 1 night out of 60. You will likely have a banging head tomorrow which will remind you of all that crap. Either don't drink it at all or, allow yourself one night but don't convince yourself you will be back to square one. You won't. Xxx

I am on day 2 but want some more af days, too many drinking nights lately and I can feel the anxieties creeping back up and the self esteem sliding down.

Waves to baby, joey, mouse, Anne, wanna, guggs, Ma, rural, Louise, why, soc, lovely Spanna, faire, 50, fated and all other babes lurking today.

Massive hugs Hope, I hope you find a way out. I have not suggestions - haven't been able to find a solution myself - but I think next time he wants to 'treat' you to a night out, take a friend and leave him at home with the kids.

Mouse the longest I've gone without wine is 31 days, DJ, I found it strangely easy but once I'm drinking it gets harder to have af days. You're right, being off work is a trigger. I'm not drinking an amount that stops me doing the school run, etc, but because I'm not working till 9/10pm I'm kidding myself that it doesn't matter if I feel below par...I think one of the problems with my drinking is that they are no obvious negative consequences so no one is aware that I think it's problematic/disordered even when I tell them!

'I can feel the anxieties creeping back up and the self esteem sliding down' Beaches I totally agree with that, I quickly forget how low I start to feel with daily drinking, and then how hard it is to get back out of it.

I'm I'd second what Beaches said, have the champagne if you can enjoy it as a one off special occasion, don't if it will set you back

Hey babes. Well I've finished week one of six weeks dry and I'm still going strong. I've had a permanent minor headache and have been feeling fatigued and seem to need more sleep than usual. Is this a symptom of cutting out alcohol? I wasn't a daily drinker but would drink a bottle of wine or on a bad day more every three days or so. It's quite scary that my body may have become dependant on alcohol. I didn't think I'd have any withdrawal symptoms. It's been a bit of a wake up call really.

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Hello Kelly, nice to meet you. Yes, those are rather par for the course symptoms I'm afraid, it's your body looking for other ways of dealing without the alcohol that has remained in your system.

Not alot of people know that once you've had that last drink at say 11pm, it takes a further hour or more for your body to process! So whilst you feel pretty okay when you make your way home, you soon realise that you're not.

Can I ask why the six weks? I have missed why in your previous posts, sorry if you'd rather not say :)

Annie - are you back at work on Monday? I always used to find it SO much easier to drink or go out when I had a week off, and like you, still managed the school run!

It's hard not to when you have a mind set of 'well, I'm not doing anything tomorrow, so why the hell not,' which is how I used to be.

The fact that you can see that trigger is a huge step forward in itself, the recognition of a trigger can be the difference between picking up every night/day/whatever, and not. :)

Hope - you are a far more patient women than I am after being in a very abusive controlling relationship for years. I learnt to please me and my DD and not my DP, which is easy to say in hindsight, I know sweetie.

I am so sorry that your night out and all of the plans you'd made were scuppered and the fact that he fell asleep through the show is appalling! Was he pissed? How did he sleep through others enjoying themselves and actually, how rude!

You did well not to slap him upside the head, not that I condone violence. I just think that he's a selfish tw@t. He doesn't deserve your kindness or your love if that's how he is going to behave.

Big hugs to you x

baby - your story is much like mine re leaving with the clothes on out backs. I feel sad that you went through that, I'm sorry xxx

'our' sorry!

Hi Mouse. Six weeks is for lent. Not religious reasons just seemed like a good time to have a break as I have gone from being a social drinker (albeit a social binge drinker at times) to drinking wine at home to relieve stress, sadness etc. I felt it was time to have a proper break and reassess my relationship with alcohol. I don't want to give up drinking but want to regain control over the frequency and amount I drink and go back to just being able to have the odd glass with dinner without it turning into a bottle. Oddly I don't get wasted when I'm out it's the solo home drinking that has become an issue. I'm also a single parent and I want to do better for my DD than being too hungover on a Sunday to get up early and get out and go swimming or whatever and being snappy because I'm tired. That's where I'm at in my relationship with alcohol now

Hey Mouse, good to see you . I hope the pain is bearable today and the side effects aren't too horrible.

While I was out walking the dog earlier, I started reflecting on my time on the bus and realised that I first posted 6 months ago (181 days in fact, I have logged my drinking since that day ). I also realised that I wanted to find some control so that I could continue drinking for the rest of my days. In my warped mind, I thought that if I could get a handle on my excessive drinking early enough then I could prevent crossing the line into alcoholism (and stop having to give it up altogether) thus allowing me to continue drinking forever. I suspect these thought alone were slightly worrying!

Anyway, in the last six months I have managed to show myself some pretty long spells of control, in fact I have only drunk in total on 49 days, which is a monumental improvement on things before. But have I really changed? Is my motivation still ultimately so I can continue drinking forever? When I do drink, I definitely don't want one glass, still don't see the point in that. I also find myself in the morning after, firmly deciding none tonight, only to cave in later. Then I get increasingly pissed off with myself and defeated and feel the strong pull of the vortex.

I am definitely more mindful of the way I drink and how often. I now know I can do spells of not drinking. I have lots of positives to focus on when not drinking; the sleeping, calmer state, feeling of regaining power, better skin and fewer calories. (There are of course loads more, but these help me). The thing is, I have to be so vigilant. My dad spent his life being/bordering alcoholism. I guess I have a nagging feeling that I actually crossed the line into a problem drinker long ago and the idea of drinking in a fun way forevermore is as much a fantasy as winning the lottery for me.

So there we are, a day of introspection for me. It is a long journey and i am glad to be here on this bus as I try and work it all through. Each of you give me inspiration and support just by posting something and I really appreciate it.

Sorry, not very light hearted for a Saturday night . Great for me to write it down though Hope you are all safe and well xx

X posted with you Kelly. . I think Lent is a great idea, it will give you a good break to take a step back and think about things.

Beaches that was a great post it's always good to get things down, amazing that you can do the maths and REALLY see how you're changing your feelings towards drinking. Keep going babe

Hope I'm sorry twunt is such a git - same shit different day! You will find a way. Can you not just pack his suitcase for him, make a start?
How's was the jewellery course today? sounds right up my street

Kelly you're doing really well babe, after 7 days the symptoms start vanishing and you will get a boing

I'm how you doing babe? My bday is 30 March

Mouse you are an inspiration thank you for your continued wise words

I am on Day 1 again. I've felt snappy, I'm tired, anxious, angry . I've got alot going on and I keep turning to the wine to numb my worries, stress, pressure. Although I have some good friends, I feel quite lonely. Could it be another Sat and Sun with no adult contact. Role on Monday so that I can rabbit in another Mum's ear on the school run, how sad is that. Saw the moon earlier when walking the dog and thought 'no wonder I'm feeling so emotional' but actually I think it's more likely to be my alcohol damaged mind and body

Waves at all other Babes - you all rock

In the sidecar. Again.
When in the name of God am I going to get on top of this, if ever?

Thanks Spanna. That's good to hear.

Just eaten and savored every mouthful - bowl of fresh strawberries, blue berries, vanilla icecream and hot truffle chocolate sauce soooo good, better than wine ANY DAY

Hello lovely babes
I've not said hi for ages, I hope you are all OK?
I find the thread a bit big to keep track of properly but I think about you :)
I'm still on the bus, day 76 and loving it :)

Ah, the full moon - that explains my overworking mind . Spanna, I just ate a bowl of strawberries too but with a heap of whipped cream, the hot truffle sauce sounds lurverly.

Ma tomorrow? That side car could do with a refurb...

Well done MrF, great to hear you are doing so well, day 76 is amazing!

MrF 76 Days is awesome

I'm with you in the side car Ma, just 'shared' a bottle of wine with H, I've had the lion's share - if there was more i would have it :(

anne, don't be too hard on yourself babe. I often think we are on a similar journey except you definitely get to the gym more . Just remind yourself that it's ok not to be a saint all the time. (I hope that doesn't sound patronizing, it isn't meant that way at all)

I'm in the sidecar
Broke my ribs
Wasn't a good choice