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Original poster

Partner living in a caravan

139 replies

Milly101 · 15/02/2014 22:26

My partner of 18 months lives in a touring caravan moving it from site to every 3/4 weeks, any time I've asked him why he lives this way al he ever does is shrugg his shoulders and say " cause I like it " I've seen his invoices/bank statements and he earns in excess of £1000 a week so it's not financial , I just find it very weird. For the record he is lovely in every other way considerate a good listener kind and generous. Would this bother you ?

OP posts:
SquidgyMummy · 17/02/2014 04:19

I think he sounds really cool!
He is practical and not materialistic.

My DP would love to live in a Caravan - he's not into material possessions at all. (We have one for holidays and love it).

He dropped out of the Rat Race and moved to France (where I later joined him.) We have lots of friends there who have spent years touring around, some have even had babies in their caravans. (Most later started renovating houses so have "proper" homes now. (Kids become the anchor.)

In the UK there is too much concern about "status" and homes and other possessions are how people are judged.

OP, why don't you try his lifestyle and see how it grabs you?
Have you discussed long term scenarios with him.
Do you want children? (only in that you can be so flexible without them.)

MistressDeeCee · 17/02/2014 05:52

OP seems to me he lives in a caravan and you don't want to live in a caravan. Its as simple as that. So you decide whether the type of roof a man has over his head is that important; Im betting its also tied in with what other people will think. That's society for you...anything deemed a bit outside the norm will get people chuntering and you have to decide whether you'd be strong enough to put up with the pisstaking comments from people who'll feel you've gone down in the world. You've been with him 18 months already and from what you've said, he sounds like a good man. Not sure how serious you are re. getting permanent but still, if a man lived in a caravan it would bother me. However if he was a good man and our relationship was happy, Im not sure it would bother me enough to leave him on that basis alone. I like free spirits.

Bedtime1 · 17/02/2014 06:33

I don't think it would bother me. Just think of all the savings you would make. Then he can save and invest that to make more money.

teaandthorazine · 17/02/2014 08:11

Some of the posts on this thread are very telling. He's childish, away with the fairies, and a drug dealer? Because he lives in a caravan and, shock horror, seems to earn decent money?

Not everyone is obsessed with owning stuff, you know. Some people even manage to live perfectly law-abiding, happy, productive lives without being mortgaged to the hilt in a 3-bed semi and commuting into a miserable office job everyday.

Fraxinus · 17/02/2014 08:48

So, back to nkf's questions.... You have opinions on the social status of caravans, and you are embarrassed by his choices.

I have no opinion whatever on a man living in a caravan, however I do have an opinion about a person who carries on a relationship when they are embarrassed about their partner's life choices..... Get over it or finish it. I would hate to to be in the reverse position, and if you think about it I bet you would too.

MistressDeeCee · 17/02/2014 08:52

Exactly. A mate of mine lives on a boat on Regents Canal. I don't know how he can - too bloody cold, for a start! But, he's happy. & It seems a bit naff to me, to judge people because of where they live. I agree not everyone is obsessed with owning 'stuff' - and thank god for it. Its beyond shallow to view people like that. Its not as if the OP's man is homeless and telling people he's happy to be like that. He lives somewhere, he works, sounds to have a nice personality. Id take that over bricks and mortar anytime, come to think of it. I can in a way understand why some would find his lifestyle difficult to cope with but then again, seems to me if your only worry is how/where he lives and there are no worrying red flag personality traits then, youre not doing too badly in the scheme of things...

Trills · 17/02/2014 08:55

I would think it was cute and quirky in a friend.

I would not date someone how lived like this. We would just not have enough in common for there to be a future.

teaandthorazine · 17/02/2014 08:58

I have no opinion whatever on a man living in a caravan, however I do have an opinion about a person who carries on a relationship when they are embarrassed about their partner's life choices..... Get over it or finish it.

This.

halfwildlingwoman · 17/02/2014 11:50

Wouldn't bother me and it is a good plan to be with a man that can save. If he is a good kind generous person, who doesn't care about money, he sounds great.
DP is a carpenter and he used to make a grand a week in the South East. Before tax and he did long hours, but he did.

It is a lifestyle that appealed to me as a teenager and I know various people that have lived this way. I would have done it when younger, and DP and I are still planning an American roadtrip in a camper van before the DC start secondary school. We have several friends who have lived on buses and boats. Alternative lifestyles do not mean drugs and stealing, whatever the people on this thread think and I am depressed to think that these attitudes still exist. The biggest drinkers and coke heads I know work in marketing, live in the Home Counties with a massive mortgage and DC and could not be more conventional in appearance.

I would not be remotely embarrassed if my boyfriend lived in a trailer/caravan. However, I wouldn't raise children in one. I am a bit too conventional for that. They do get claustrophobic and I want my kids to be warm and dry in winter!

elastamum · 17/02/2014 13:31

We have met quite a few 'alternative lifestylers' on caravan club sites!!

Hardly a hotbed of vice IMO Grin

OP, sadly it sounds like you are not really compatible with this chap as you are embarassed by the way he lives.

BOFtastic · 17/02/2014 16:15

It's all very well saving money, but what is it FOR? A comfortable home or world travel would be most people's approach. What is he actually doing with it all? I wouldn't fancy building a life with one of those eccentrics who save bits of string and end up bequeathing £4 million to a cat sanctuary.

expatinscotland · 17/02/2014 17:45

I know someone who did this, BOF, and he has one hell of a retirement!

He lives half the year in Thailand, and half at his amazing home in Highland Scotland.

SomethingkindaOod · 17/02/2014 18:27

This is exactly what I plan to.do when I retire. Buy a nice rv and take off round the country. Take in a few festivals and get back into the folk scene! Not everyone wants to be tied down to a house - some people dream of cashing it all in and taking off, some do it. It sounds like he actually had the balls to go against the flow and live how he wants to.
It's not for everyone and it looks like its not for you. Fair enough, enjoy his company and see where it goes.

expatinscotland · 17/02/2014 18:29

This guy retired at 60 and bought two houses, one here and one in Thailand. He had a child when he was young and paid plenty of maintenance for her, uni accommodation, wedding, etc. She stayed with him in the caravan in summer and holidays and they swanned around from place to place in the UK and Europe. She had a fab time and they are very close.

Now he just swans around, not working and enjoying himself and spoiling his grandchildren.

ConfusedPixie · 17/02/2014 18:32

Wouldn't bother me, DP and I looked into it but unfortunately, there aren't many sites that are commutable for us :(

MistressDeeCee · 17/02/2014 18:34

That's a good point, re. what he's saving all this money for. But if it were my OH - Id have asked him by now. Its a good thing to try to find out where youre heading in life with someone, whether you're both looking in the same direction as it were. I wouldn't be bothered with wondering and speculating and 2nd guessing, whats the point. Ask him - then you know.

Original poster
Milly101 · 22/02/2014 15:44

His friends wife showed him this thread, he's just put a offer in on a lovely bungalow and asked me to marry him :))))) i of course said yes :))). Thank you mumsnet

OP posts:
SerenaBracken · 22/02/2014 16:02

If you're serious Milly, then congratulations.

Original poster
Milly101 · 22/02/2014 16:07

I couldn't be any more serious ( or happy)

OP posts:
SerenaBracken · 22/02/2014 16:24

Well that is truly lovely and I wish you both all the happiness in the World. Not sure I can do the flowers, I'll have a try, but that won't detract from the moment. Thank you as well for sharing here. You've made a great big grin appear on my face.
Have a lovely weekend both of you. •Flowers: Thanks

ladygracie · 22/02/2014 16:55

Oh wow, how lovely. Huge congratulations!! Thanks

Facebaffle · 22/02/2014 17:05

Ah that's lovely. Congratulations Thanks

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 23/02/2014 08:16

Congratulations.

Not to put a damper on things but PLEASE get the pot smoking issue sorted out before you get married. You are either ok with it or not.

Don't wait to have children before deciding it's now not acceptable!

figgypuddings · 23/02/2014 08:22

Congratulations!
Don't get rid of the caravan.

Lweji · 23/02/2014 08:36

Congratulations. :)

Although, the bungalow should be a joint purchase, no?

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