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Original poster

Partner living in a caravan

139 replies

Milly101 · 15/02/2014 22:26

My partner of 18 months lives in a touring caravan moving it from site to every 3/4 weeks, any time I've asked him why he lives this way al he ever does is shrugg his shoulders and say " cause I like it " I've seen his invoices/bank statements and he earns in excess of £1000 a week so it's not financial , I just find it very weird. For the record he is lovely in every other way considerate a good listener kind and generous. Would this bother you ?

OP posts:
LightastheBreeze · 16/02/2014 06:49

I think that you do have to move on after a few weeks as I know when you book with the caravan club you are only allowed to stay there for up to 3 or 4 weeks on the same site at a time. I think other sites may be the same. Probably to stop people living there.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 16/02/2014 07:01

The pot smoking would bother me, but I am pretty square when it comes to drugs.

I also wouldn't be holding out any hope for a LT relationship, kids etc. He would have to make a lot of changes to his lifestyle which he might resent.

Does he have a lot of friends?

JeanSeberg · 16/02/2014 07:26

He sounds great for a fun relationship but not as a long-term partner for you. But surely after 18 months you've had a conversation about what both your hopes are for the future?

teaandthorazine · 16/02/2014 08:52

CuttedUpPear - can I just say yours is my favourite name on MN? Smile

To the OP - it doesn't really sound as if you two are compatible in the long term, does it?

JodieGarberJacob · 16/02/2014 08:55

He's not childish etc because he uses his parents' address! You do know that to have a job, insurance etc you have to specify a permanent address? He has to move every month because of the LA rules (28 days max I think). Great if you can live like that and not be tied down to bricks and mortar and domestic grief! Although at the moment with the weather it must be pretty hairy.
Op, only you know if he's the man for you and if you have been upset with his living arrangements from day 1 and have always had it in mind to change him, what happens if you get your way? Would he still be the same person if he was trapped in a house?

DownstairsMixUp · 16/02/2014 08:58

I'd love to live like that. I probably will try to one day when my kids are older. The pot thing would only bother me depending on how he acted on it. I know two "stoners" and they kinda zone out and become a bit dull as soon as they've had a few but some people are absolutely fine on it and it just helps them relax. He sounds alright, I'd give him a chance!

VivaLeBeaver · 16/02/2014 09:01

How serious is the relationship? Have you talked about moving in together?

Maybe when the time comes he'd be happy to move into a house and keep the van for holidays. It wouldn't put me off. I love my caravan and if I had less stuff I could see the appeal of living in it.

Original poster
Milly101 · 16/02/2014 10:28

Yeah he's got a lot of friends, and he's quite a giggle when he's smoking pot, he does admit to having issues with alcohol buts he's not touched a drop in years, he's just so laid back about life nothing and mean nothing seems to phase him

OP posts:
rainbowsmiles · 16/02/2014 10:53

How is he your partner? You don't share a home or a life. He's your boyfriend. He lives in a caravan and likes moving a few miles every few weeks. And he can take off as and when he pleases. No Permanence. What does he like about it. Is he avoiding debt/council tax? Is he into dogging in a big way?? I cannot imagine anything fun about that lifestyle sounds annoying. And it sounds like he is avoiding something/someone. But sounds like maybe you want him to explain what he gets out of it?

youmakemydreams · 16/02/2014 11:01

I love caravans. I know a lot of people that work away from home for long stretches and rather than digs all own caravans and stay in them for 11 days out of 14. They are cosy and homely and one who has a rather palatial bricks and mortar home misses his caravan when he's on annual leave.
I guess in your situation it does really depend on where you see this going. If he can't see himself settling down and living in a house and you don't fancy the nomadic lifestyle then you have a problem.

BrawToken · 16/02/2014 11:14

I have had a partner like that before who was lovely guy and relationship but in the end we wanted different things. I think leaving him was probably my biggest ever mistake as he was the only man in my life who has ever been genuine.

I wonder what he's doing now!

JodieGarberJacob · 16/02/2014 11:30

Blimey rainbow, she can call him what she wants, there no law against it!
I am going to live like this when I retire in 10 years time. Hopefully I will be fit enough. Only difference is, mine is going to be a camper or motor home. Can't waitGrin

rainbowsmiles · 16/02/2014 14:17

yes of course she can, she could call him her husband or girlfriend or boss but it wouldn't be accurate. And I am the accurate description police.

Horsemad · 16/02/2014 14:18

Could anybody seriously be bothered enough about having to pay Council Tax that you'd rather live in a caravan?? Really? Hmm

There must be another reason why he does this. I don't think he's 'wrong' for wanting to do it, I just can't see paying CT being a big enough reason for doing this.

tribpot · 16/02/2014 14:36

He doesn't sound like someone you should be planning to have a serious relationship with. I guarantee he's not sitting around in his caravan angsting about whether you will want to move in with him at some point - I suspect he's just taking this as it comes and enjoying your company. I would suggest you do the same if that suits you, and end things if that doesn't.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 16/02/2014 14:40

Are they proper friendships or drinking/smoking buddies? I think a good way to evaluate a person is to look at how they treat their friends/family. The caravan on its own wouldn't bother me.

Its0kToBeMe · 16/02/2014 19:18

Do you mean me Horsemad?

Davidhasselhoffstoecheese · 16/02/2014 19:29

Great way to save. His mum says he could buy a house outright but maybe just a tiny place? If I was him id live in the caravan and keep buying houses

WhateverTrevor83 · 16/02/2014 20:04

I love the immediately-jumping-to-the-worst-case-scenario-conclusions from the drama queens! Last time I checked people other than drug dealers and criminals on the run types have caravans! ;-p

I guess for me there are two issues:

  1. Does his not wanting to be tied down to one location say anything about his long term commitment to you?
  1. The weed - I always think that potheads are a lot more calm and cheerful than binge drinkers personally! But it is illegal (and very smelly) also if you have/want kids I suppose it's not a grey example to set
  1. What about you? Never mind him or whatever we or anyone else thinks - do you want to live in a caravan if things progress? I've always liked the idea of living on a barge... I suppose it's a similar principle.

X

LillyAlien · 16/02/2014 20:22

OP, I agree with many others, that there's nothing wrong with this, but also that he is unlikely to change. Some people just don't like staying in one place. You meet them lots of them in places like the Australian outback and the west of the US. People (mainly blokes) who drive hundreds of miles to work as tree loppers or buildres for a few weeks, who live in their cars or vans, who spend some of their time working and saving at casual jobs, and the rest exploring... I guess your DP has a slightly more English, less wildernessy version.

If you want the relationship to get more serious, you should think about moving in to his caravan, or getting your own? I see three ways it could go:

  1. You hate it and want to leave after a week. It was never going to work, except as a ccasual type thing.
  2. You decide it's the way you want to live the rest of your life.
  3. (IMHO The most likely) You enjoy it at first, but after six months or a year you realise you've had enough and want to live in a house again. The relationship might not last, but in the meantime you will probably have lots of fun, and experience a totally different way of living that most people don't get to.
BeCool · 16/02/2014 20:58

I can't imagine a nomadic life would appeal to a drug dealer - they want their clients to find them surely? And a little more security than a caravan would offer (with all those drugs and cash hanging about at home).

I think he sounds eccentric but lovely. Just beacuse someone does something different to the 'norm' doesn't make them a freak or weirdo.

Original poster
Milly101 · 16/02/2014 21:03

I'm quite sure he's. not a drug dealer I'm also sure he's not doing it to save on council tax, he's very kind and generous to his friends and family and Lilly my thinking is exactly wot urs is

OP posts:
LillyAlien · 16/02/2014 21:07

Glad to hear it Milly! happy trails!

BeCool · 16/02/2014 21:09

Do you have/want DC Milly? And if you do want them have you talked with him about that and how he see's his life if/when he becomes a parent?

MorrisZapp · 16/02/2014 21:16

What do you want from this thread, OP?