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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

first love

26 replies

jesy · 12/02/2014 09:51

Does anyone ever think about there first love ?
I'm still in touch with mine as a friend , even text e d him to remind him to get his gf a card lol
I guess sometimes it was a romantic view of our time together x

OP posts:

craftynclothy · 12/02/2014 09:57

Um, I generally consider Dh to be my first love. I do sometimes think about "the one that never was" and that I should have just been more confident and asked him to dance 14 years ago

DCRbye · 12/02/2014 09:57

20 years on and still in touch with mine. Great memories of a simpler time!

nomoreminibreaks · 12/02/2014 10:00

Yes I think about mine. We're friends on Facebook, both married with children now and very happy. We were together from 14 to 17 and did everything for the first time together, then I broke up with him for a guy who was lovely but turned out to be a bit of a waster. It was a silly decision at the time and I sometimes wonder how things would have turned out. No regrets though. I have a brilliant DH and someone else has to put up with exBF's loopy mother!

rosiesarered · 12/02/2014 10:01

yep. had 2 dreams about him in the last week. think about him everyday. every single day. we're still friends but he's far away. i had a thread about him a few months ago.

Keepithidden · 12/02/2014 10:03

Occassionally think about her, but with pain and guilt more than any of the other wistful/whimsical feelings. My 17 year old male ego was crushed by her and I was a bit of a twat in the way I reacted.

One of these days I'll pluck up the courage to send her a letter of apology (and everyone else at school I was a twat to, it's quite a long list!).

CogitoErgoSometimes · 12/02/2014 10:07

Yes... because he's often in touch with ever so slightly over-affectionate texts despite being married with kids. Very amusing...

DCRbye · 12/02/2014 10:07

I got an FB message from mine a few months ago saying he still thought about me too and they were the best years of his life. Shame he's married or I'd have been over there like a ferret up a trouser leg. He's the only man in my entire life who didn't let me down or shite all over me. Shame I met him when I was only 18, but the 4 years with him were the happiest time of my life. You have to wonder though how much of it is down to being young and carefree. life gets so much more complicated with DCs and debts and drama beyond "where should we go out tonight?".

Daisypops · 12/02/2014 10:19

Yes. I still love my first love and he still loves me. But hes with someone else and has kids

Original poster

jesy · 12/02/2014 10:36

I only realised in October that I was actually no longer in love with him lol
Saw him in May a d despite fact I was with some one I knew I loved him still.
It's odd we bumped into each other in town n had a chat it when he left I cried, saw him in October we we t for a drink as mate's and when I got home I thought I'm no longer madly in love with him.

OP posts:

CogitoErgoSometimes · 12/02/2014 10:40

From how long ago was this first love of yours?

rainbowsmiles · 12/02/2014 10:44

Yes every day. I married mine. I had never fallen in love before (convinced my young self couple of times, so glad I didn't convince myself down the aisle) and so glad I didn't miss it. I'm glad he's the only man I've really loved.

Joysmum · 12/02/2014 10:48

My first love contacted me on Facebook and I added him as a friend. It made me sad to see how his life is now and realise how lucky an escape I'd had.

rosiesarered · 12/02/2014 10:49

what changed jesy? how long were you in love with him for and then just stopped in the space of 5 months?
I've loved mine for 15 years can't see that ever changing

FirstLoveMama · 12/02/2014 10:54

I was only 13 but I can honestly say I've never felt like it again about anyone else!

We talk occasionally and about 6 months ago he said he misses it and how he missed me so much when it ended

FirstLoveMama · 12/02/2014 10:55

We weren't together either which made me even more certain, because I think when you're in a proper relationship you can feel in love when you aren't

rainbowsmiles · 12/02/2014 11:00

Firstlovemama I think the opposite is actually true. It sounds like you have a fantasy of love which will always be perfect because it's never been tested. Infatuation isn't love although it's usually an ingredient at the start.

FirstLoveMama · 12/02/2014 11:02

Yes I see what you mean actually!

I don't think it was infatuation for myself and the person it was with. We both felt it it was a strange but wonderful feeling, and I want to feel it again one day!

FirstLoveMama · 12/02/2014 11:02

I've had many infatuations too and they all fizzled out and were very artificial!

Original poster

jesy · 12/02/2014 11:23

We were together a year ,but he dumped me I was heart broken and was so upset I really struggled for a bit , in June 2012 we'd been texting and basically I went over hoping we'd get back together but it was just sex.
I kept hoping till Jan 2013 we had a chance but nope especially when I knew he met someone else. So tried to move on . Saw him occasionally as we live in s a me town and it always hurt but he is a good mate but last time I saw him I thought although I fancy him I don't love him and he is my friend.
Bizarrely three weeks ago he called me as he was having problems with the girl he seeing!
I think I'll always love him that little bit .
I wouldn't say it just stopped met in 2011,six weeks after starting to sleep together I was there 4 nights a week, but I think we rushed it. It took a long time to get over him.
I'm just glad we still friends

OP posts:

laregina · 12/02/2014 11:27

Well what I would have thought of as my first 'love' wasn't really love at all in retrospect. Actually the only person I've ever really loved (and who I think has genuinely, selflessly loved me) is DH

Which is quite handy really!

CogitoErgoSometimes · 12/02/2014 11:28

If the whole thing only happened very recently then you're not really in what I call first love territory in the nostalgic romantic sense that the rest of us are talking about when there's been chance to don the rose-coloured hindsight specs and relive lost youth. You're just 'freshly dumped'... different problem entirely.

MimsyBorogroves · 12/02/2014 11:31

My "first love" in the teenage sense was a complete twat. No contact now.

I realised five and a bit years ago that I was still in love with the only man I'd ever truly loved - we had been friends, we'd had a lot of "friends with benefits" time and we'd tried to be together twice but each time one of us had got scared.

I married him nearly 4 years ago though, so 'tis a happy end.

Original poster

jesy · 12/02/2014 11:32

He was my first bf the first person I ever loved.
I was involved with some one in an online relationship years before but I knew it wasn't for real I cccc an remember being on holiday and him texting me n my answer was well this not real !

OP posts:

Twinklestein · 12/02/2014 11:40

Occasionally. I check up on his website about once a year to see what he's been up to (he's a writer and now lives in the US).

I have no regrets about splitting up with him, and he was nicer back then than he is now. I've known him since I was by kid. I would never have married him, he's too much of an arsehole. Clever and talented, but narcissistic and shallow.

Original poster

jesy · 12/02/2014 11:43

I started late dating.I was ignored at school big boobs that all they were interested in and I was shy.
My family broke up at 16 so I took o n that role of cooking , cleaning etc
It was only a few year ago I thought I'd do on line dating

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