Separation and moving overseas

[Cookingmonster]

DH and I are in a very bad way. Sparing you the details, I think I need to go for my own health and the happiness of our (3) DC. We are both Australian and have no family in England whatsoever. We are here because of his career (I can work anywhere in the world). Our children were born here. My question is, if I did leave, what chances are there that I could take the kids back to Oz. All our extended family would support it (even his I think) but our DCs have always lived here. Does anyone know? How do I find out? TIA

Would he support it?

That will be critical here. As the children of have never lived in Oz, it'd be very easy to argue that they should stay here because they are settled here.

No, I don't think he'd support it but I think it would be the best course of action for the kids. I would also hope it would force him to move and spend time with his kids.

Do the have Australian citizenship?

I'd ask a solicitor personally it could get very messy if he accuses you of kidnapping them.

Do you both have citizenship/indefinite leave to stay?

We both are about to get citizenship. The kids have not got Australian citizenship but that should be fairly easy. I'm not at the stage of going to a solicitor as I have no access to our money.

As both the UK and Oz are signatories to the Hague Convention on Child Abduction, you would need the express permission of your husband to take the children from their country of residence (UK) to Oz. If you arrive in Australia without this permission and your DH was to challenge this legally, Australia would be obliged to return the children to the UK unless there were extreme extenuating circumstances.

Whether you go or stay, move or don't, I'd be trying to sort out access to your money.
I appreciate there's a difference between trying to hide a solicitor's fee and normal spending, so hopefully you've got access to "some" money at least.

Otherwise, I'd definitely recommend proper legal advice. Hope it works out for you.

Getting your DH's agreement to this plan is the one thing that really matters. You can't take the DC out of the country and resettle them in Australia without it. End of.

If you don't have access to your money, this is financial abuse and taken very seriously. Please get in touch with Women's Aid. They can help you with practical and legal advice.

I figured I needed his permission, I was just hoping I could argue from a stronger position. I will talk to Women's Aid as there has been abuse in the relationship for a while now. Thanks for your input! x

I know you can't afford it, but you really need legal aid. There are numerous site online you can find out information from and many solicitors will offer you a free half hour of consultation. Women's Aid and Rights of Women are a great place to start.

If there has been any suggestion of abuse in your relationship, that's where you need to start. The more evidence you can provide of this the greater likelihood you will have of getting a court order that permits you to take your DC abroad. If your H is abusive, a court may well consider it to be in the children's best interests for you to return home because of the benefits they will experience from having a happy, settled mother with extended family support from both sides of the family - in comparison to being cared for in country where you have no support and an abusive ex, particularly if said X is a native of the country you are returning to (once he gets UK citizenship that may change things).

None of this is certain, however and can be affected by many things. If you had a great job lined up to go to, that might improve your chances, for example, but the court will also want to take into account the current relationship between your DC and your H. How hands-on is he? If he isn't, and you are overwhelmingly the primary carer - start documenting how little he has them, as the courts tend to favour arrangements that reflect the status quo when it comes to residency arrangements.