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Original poster

i farted during

56 replies

SayCheesePlease · 01/02/2014 23:20

sex.

just a small, but obvious one. was very embarrassed and pretended i was done, even though i wasn't

dh was good enough to carry on as though nothing happened

OP posts:
Diamondjoan · 01/02/2014 23:27

Shit happens! We just have a laugh and carry on, which can break the stride itself.

handfulofcottonbuds · 01/02/2014 23:29

pretended i was done, even though i wasn't

So funny!

iamonthepursuitofhappiness · 01/02/2014 23:33

Hahahahaha! SCP, at least it was your DH and not a new man yu were trying to impress!

Original poster
SayCheesePlease · 01/02/2014 23:37
Blush words are not consoling me!!!

sent him to get me water straight after, i just couldn't face him doubleBlush

am pretending to be asleep while he's downstairs watching tv

OP posts:
CuntyBunty · 01/02/2014 23:41

I did it by accident during shagging last week, for the first time in 20 years with DH. We fart in front of each other all the time when not having sex. Just console yourself with the fact (?) that you didn't pause and lift one leg up.

handfulofcottonbuds · 01/02/2014 23:41

Still laughing!

wadi1983 · 01/02/2014 23:46

it's ur husband... What's the big deal..

Dp and I fast all the time, sometimes during sex, we just say ' I'm gonna fart, sorry'

and the other one normally says 'go on then'
We smile and carry on, if it really stinks, we sometimes have to start over Grin bur it's fun Wink

Joysmum · 01/02/2014 23:53

So sad that you feel that self conscious. DH and I would find it funny and that would normally set more off!

LyndaCartersBigPants · 02/02/2014 00:08

I know it's gonna happen one of these days, but I know DP will think it's hilarious while I will be mortified as I haven't done it in his presence in 18 months (much butt clenching needed!)

I think it's sad that you're so self conscious in front of your DH and the moment to giggle about it passed, leaving you feeling embarrassed. The only options are a) never to speak of it (bit odd!) or b) have a giggle about it and say I wasn't really done, but I was all embarrassed about farting. I'm sure he'll laugh and tell you not to be silly.

ettiketti · 02/02/2014 00:13

Tsch I've farted during cunnilingus! We had been together a very short time but 15 years on, I'm still farting regularly and he's still here Wink

morethanpotatoprints · 02/02/2014 00:16

saycheese

How long have you been married. I too would have been a bit mortified in the early years, you get beyond that after a while.

BumPotato · 02/02/2014 01:00

Pfft, I was hoping OP was going to say during oral sex. That would have been funnier.

Merel · 02/02/2014 01:06

Many years ago I fanny farted in an ex-bfs face when we were engaged in a 69 position, me on top, him helpless. As embarrassed as I was, it made me laugh quite heartily, and with every chortle came another expulsion of wind. The more I let rip, the more it made me laugh. Bit of a catch 22. Luckily the man of the moment saw the funny side. I'm not sure I would have done in his position though. I suppose I got him back for the time he started humming along to Erasure on the radio whilst he was going down on me.

BumsyClugger · 02/02/2014 01:16

I farted during oral sex once, early on in a relationship. He'd not been down there long, and due to the fact I hadn't farted in front of him at that point I had a lot of wind backed up.

It just fell out!

He was not impressed. Mostly because his head was under the duvet. It was like a kinky version of Dutch ovens for the poor bloke.

I, on the other hand, was crying with laughter. It was the look on his face when he popped his head up what set me off. Was very much like this Hmm

handfulofcottonbuds · 02/02/2014 01:27

bumsy - now that's funny!

ChubbyKitty · 02/02/2014 01:27

Bumsy that's one of the funniest thing I've read in a while!Grin

handfulofcottonbuds · 02/02/2014 01:33

The look on his face got me Hmm

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 02/02/2014 01:39

Grin at bumsy!

Takingbackmonday · 02/02/2014 02:56

Question is... Did it smell?

I can't see the problem - he's your husband!!

BOFtastic · 02/02/2014 03:02

Be reassured- here's an anecdote about the Queen:

THE QUEEN
Was riding in a carriage with a dignitary during a State Visit. One of the horses broke wind appallingly.
The Queen said ''I'm most dreadfully sorry!''
''That's perfectly alright Ma'am, had you not said anything, I would have thought it was the horse''.

And then there's this old theatre story:

MARGARET RUTHERFORD in
BLITHE SPIRIT
During a 'run through' of the play at Bromley's Churchill Theatre, a rather well known and loved actress, playing Madame Arcati, passed wind very loudly.
Naturally we all fell about and five minutes later after umpteen apologies, the wonderful lady looked out front and said to the Director:
"Again, my apologies, where would you like us to go from?"
"From the fart!" was the Director's reply.
Collapse of all concerned.

Original poster
SayCheesePlease · 02/02/2014 09:40

we've been together 8 years, and this is the first time its happened,
if he'd let rip in front of me, i wouldn't be so mortified, but my clenching didn't work this time

bumsy that made me lol, it could have been worse (in my scenario)will

OP posts:
Original poster
SayCheesePlease · 02/02/2014 09:42

will console myself

OP posts:
DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 02/02/2014 09:52

Be of good heart OP.

It have been worse. Very, very much worse. NSFW.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 02/02/2014 09:53

Cock. Insert "could" before "have".

PixieBumbles · 02/02/2014 10:15

I queefed in DH's face while he was going down on me when we hadn't been together very long. Fortunately he saw the funny side. We are both of the opinion that if you can't have a laugh at how ridiculous sex can be then you're doing it wrong Grin