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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

His family want the toys they brought for my ds to go to his house!!

57 replies

jellyjelly · 01/08/2006 19:49

Title says it all really, they want the toys they got my ds to go to x's house. I think it is really petty and just hurts ds.

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 01/08/2006 19:53

it is petty and downright silly

but you know what, I reckon you have to pick your battles and this one probably isn't worth the fight

could you get duplicates of the ones he really likes?

waterfalls · 01/08/2006 19:53

Be strong and refuse, start as you mean to go on, let them know you are no walkover.

waterfalls · 01/08/2006 19:54

How old is your ds? could he choose for himself what toys to take.

Original poster
jellyjelly · 01/08/2006 19:58

It is all the toys they got for him the ones he plays with everyday like the car mat and the cosy coupe car. I know i could get more but it seems like they are trying to hurt ds. 3.5 yrs btw.

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 01/08/2006 20:01

that does sound a lot - I thought it was more likely to be one or two things

I dunno - it sounds like they are begging for a fight as it's such a horrible thing to ask

couldn't he just take them with him when he goes to stay there?

gigglinggoblin · 01/08/2006 20:03

tough, they gave them to ds so they now belong to him, not them. what nasty, petty people.

Original poster
jellyjelly · 01/08/2006 20:06

he said they want him to have all the toys.He is being a prize knob jockey and this is just one of the fights he wants to have.

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 01/08/2006 20:14

how awful jelly - yes I agree with you, he is punishing ds

perhaps you could suggest one or two (that ds doesn't often play with) and then tell dh he can have the rest when he comes to get ds

foxinsocks · 01/08/2006 20:14

Sorry! Xh

gothicmama · 01/08/2006 20:20

explain they are ds's and you will ask which hewants to take to daddy's to leave there, suggest that all future toys can be left there but it's not fair on ds to upset him over his toys

CorrieDale · 01/08/2006 20:21

Say they stay with DS. ie with you. End of. I don't know your background but if you both have solicitors, I suggest you mention it to yours. You've already seen how incredibly petty and nasty this looks written down.

FrannyandZooey · 01/08/2006 20:24

I don't know what to advise but just wanted to say how sorry this makes me feel

nellie245 · 01/08/2006 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Charlottesweb · 01/08/2006 20:46

Can't you just tell him that when he picks DS up he can also take his toys with him and when he brings him back he can bring them back with him?

My niece has a pile of toys at her nannas house, she stayed there every weekend from she was 2yrs old, she is 9 now and has barely used toys over there, such a waste as she never got to use any of the nice stuff @ home or show her friends her motorbike/bratz house etc... not fair on the children. Tell him to wise up! The arse!

Californifrau · 01/08/2006 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Caligula · 01/08/2006 21:05

Agree with corriedale, get it written down officially.

If they're prepared to demand something like this, you can bet your bottom dollar that they will carry on like this for years. And it's as well to have a record of it.

I'd also tell them that DS can take whichever toys he wants to to x's, but as the toys are his, it's his decision which ones he takes and which he brings home. And no, all of them at one time is not going to happen as over-stimulation is not good for him.

Wankers.

daisy1999 · 01/08/2006 21:08

if they gave them to your son then they are his toys to go where he chooses end of story.

CorrieDale · 01/08/2006 21:10

I'd bet my last quid that any toys DS takes with him don't come back to your house. Sorry, that's probably more depressing than helpful. (Was family lawyer in past life so I saw a lot of this kind of crap. Toys tended to be one-way travellers )

heavenis · 01/08/2006 21:12

I've had wine so please excuse me.
Tell them to f off,put their hands in their pockets and buy ds more toys for x's house. Stupid small minded people, who would happily upset ds.

mistressmiggins · 01/08/2006 21:22

Im lucky - my In Laws give me the birthday money for children, give me any money they;ve been saving and buy them treats.....they clearly think their son is a tw#t like the rest of us...

think your inlaws are being mean
hes a child FFS

Original poster
jellyjelly · 01/08/2006 21:23

I wasnt sure if it was me being damn petty or if it was them.

OP posts:
Original poster
jellyjelly · 01/08/2006 21:33

Dont hold back, will be talking to a solicitor they in particula want the cosy coupe as they brought it for a nephew 18 yrs ago and it has been inthe family since. ffs is ds not in the family now!!

OP posts:
mazzystar · 01/08/2006 21:56

oh jelly, i'm furious with them for you.

they are totally out of order. a gift is a gift. iirc i think that the law recognises this.

Isheforreal · 01/08/2006 22:40

jellyjelly-just saw this and had to post as you have been so supportive to me on my thread.

How could your x and his family do this.Are they trying to get to you through him?
Surely they must realise how this would confuse and hurt your ds.
Can they do this as someone else said they were gifts.

slinkstah · 01/08/2006 23:59

my ds and dd cannot bring any of their toys home from their dads house either. they get birthday and xmas presents and they can only play with them round there. Its very cruel.
this type of behaviour from the father is acceptable according to the family courts too!!