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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

how to find out if hes been with anyone else

20 replies

mrsg3123 · 25/01/2014 13:26

Split few days ago he's just came to take kids out he looks like he's been out Having funn since split how do I find out if he's been with anyone else

OP posts:
LEMmingaround · 25/01/2014 13:30

SAdly, if you have split up, its up to him what he does i suppose - i know that is shit but that is the way it is. Obviously if there is to be a divorce and this was going on whle you were still together its quite different, but technically its not your business anymore.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but you just have to move on - he sounds like you are best rid of him

CogitoErgoSometimes · 25/01/2014 13:31

Short of asking or checking up on him, you don't. Why torment yourself with the ins and outs of his life?

louby44 · 25/01/2014 13:34

You just have to move on - it's very hard especially when you still have feelings for someone. I so wish there was a button we could all press to get them out of our heads!

Leverette · 25/01/2014 13:36

This reply has been deleted

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olathelawyer05 · 25/01/2014 15:14

"...he sounds like you are best rid of him"

Really? Why does he 'sound' like that? Because he wasn't obviously miserable when he came to get the kids?

BohemianGirl · 25/01/2014 15:47

Just reading your other thread - you asked him to leave. what was the reason for that?

mammadiggingdeep · 25/01/2014 15:55

You have to focus on yourself, what YOU are doing, YOUR plans. So what if he's out?? Good for him. You can only control what you are doing...time to move on. Take a day at a time...be kind to yourself xx

mrsg3123 · 25/01/2014 16:03

I just wanted to know that if I did take him back I wouldn't want him if he been anywhere else

OP posts:
mrsg3123 · 25/01/2014 16:03

And if he has after 2-3 days I can't of meant anything

OP posts:
Sandiacre · 25/01/2014 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsg3123 · 25/01/2014 16:17

Yes it was real shock

OP posts:
mammadiggingdeep · 25/01/2014 16:18

Can someone link to the other thread maybe? Hard to comment without reading why he left...

Tonandfeather · 25/01/2014 16:19

If you've split up, what he does now is his own business.

If you told him to leave but didn't mean it, don't be surprised if he stays away.

If you asked him to leave because you thought he was fooling around with other women and you think he is now, he was probably fooling around before and so you were right to end it.

You're only concern is whether he was fooling around before while he was in a relationship with you. Not hard to get proof of that nowadays. But if you can't, you'll never know unless he admits it.

mammadiggingdeep · 25/01/2014 17:15

Ok- just read the other thread...

The Facebook thing is awful...says exactly what he thinks if you and your marriage. You wee right to tell him to go.

captainmummy · 25/01/2014 17:42

Op - there was another v similar thread on here recently, where the OP found out about her DH OW and chucked him out. It seems she didnt mean it either, and spent several pages asking how to get him back! He, OTOH, was having a fine time with 2 women fighting over him and his 'D'W almost suicidal.

You've told him to go; you had good reason. This is the hardest part, now, rebuilding your life without him. He certainly seems to have done the same - since he left you, and probably before.

mammadiggingdeep · 25/01/2014 18:30

DEFINATELY before....he has gone and hadnt been in contact. He is listed as 'single' on Facebook. Please, take from this what it means. As hard as that is...

Tonandfeather · 25/01/2014 19:14

Is this one of those "Behave so badly I get sacked" stories?

Sounds like he was fooling around before the split.

mrsg3123 · 25/01/2014 20:04

The Facebook hasn't just been changed that's what its been like throughout our marrage

OP posts:
mammadiggingdeep · 25/01/2014 20:18

Exactly sweetheart. During your marriage he had a "single" status on his Facebook.

There's a reason you ended it. Hold on to this.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 25/01/2014 20:25

Single status all the time you were together? Oh OP.

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