I hate being all suspicious but I can't help it lately, I'm worried I'm being strung along by stuff that is really important to me.
When we first got together my partner said he definitely wanted to get married again, he likes the mr and mrs set up, he believed marriage was important although as he hadn't been divorced long (2 years) he would want to wait a while before taking the plunge - then when we moved in together all of a sudden he changed this to never wanting to get married, making out that I should have told him how important it was to me in the early days (I did!!) and that he "supposes" he "might" marry me at a much later date if we continue to "get on" and "work as a team". Now however it's constantly at the back of my mind that if I stay with him, I might have to resign myself to having never married despite it being so important to me. He never brings it up, never talks about it and makes me feel awkward if I bring it up. It's constantly on TV, marriage, weddings, romantic proposals, honeymoons - we're going to Thailand in August and our hotel has a special wedding/honeymoon page on the internet and he looked through the entire website and just missed that page out. When skipping through the hotel photos there was an air of awkward silence when the wedding pictures came up. I just sometimes feel that he's stringing me along. If he genuinely intended to marry at some point wouldn't that be a perfect conversation starter? If he doesn't want to get married, why can't he just tell me so I can make an informed decision about my future? It winds me up all the important dates throughout the year when friends/colleagues are expecting proposals - birthdays, valentines day, on holiday (can't get much more romantic /exotic than thailand!) yet I know deep down it will never happen for me, he'll never ask me no matter how perfect the setting. A woman at work today came in all excited, stuck her hand out and was wearing a beautiful engagement ring. Everyone was so excited for her and I started feeling quite emotional. My DP never buys me anything never mind a ring. I think one of his excuses before was the cost of a wedding - clearly bullshit when all I'd want is a quick service in the reg office, I'm not even after a posh dress - none of that matters to me and I just feel so rejected by him and just wish he'd be honest with me one way or another. I'm 33 and he's 42 - we're old enough to know what we want and time is moving on somewhat. We can't have kids so it's not about that (yet that's another thing I'm willing to sacrifice for him) but I won't compromise on marriage too. But how do I make him be honest? don't want to end the relationship if he genuinely intends to ask me soon - but don't want to be strung along either.
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Relationships
Worried that DP is stringing me along a bit Re. Marriage
NurseScorned · 22/01/2014 15:45
Please take your rose tinted specs off nurse, being married to this guy isn't going to change the fundamental fact that he's looking after his own interests. In fact it can only get worse as once you're financially linked it will be much more difficult to cut and run! Why saddle yourself with such a millstone? We have one life, don't waste yours by treading water... get your cossie on and start swimming! Life's for living not standing by and watching everyone else doing it 
the aim of actually marrying when I qualify
Can you not see how totally wrong that is? Marriage is not something you get as reward for passing tests. Someone who thinks like that is a) highly manipulative & b) doesn't know what love is.
Can you not see - that he fails to qualify on grounds of quality? He is not a nice person. He is a selfish person. He is not a loving person. I highly doubt from what you have written here that he loves you at all.
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