social services are destroying my family

[justalilmummy]

Social services have ruined my family and I just dont know what to do anymore, I want to run away from it all
My partner had a mental breakdown 15 months ago, leading up to this there were a few issues (arguments got out of hand abd police were called, 3 times last time 2.5 years ago)
After hes breakdown social services became involved and we were under a child in need plan
The plan said I was to protect my children by not allowing the children to be alone with their father - which I did
Partner after being released from the psychiatric hospital after 8 days was allocated a mental health nurse who he saw regularly
Everything was going great social workers visited as they still had a slight concern about dp state of mind
4 months ago he was discharged completly as they felt he was fine now and he did not have a mental disorder
Things took a bad turn after this as social worker did not agree with the decision
They first tried to convince dp to go to the doctors and get medication to help hes ' depression' even though he does not have it.
Dp did not do this so one day they turned up in the evening and said they are very concerned and he is not to come inside the family home, we were shocked by this but he went and stayed at hes mums, which we again did
6 weeks ago a child protection conference was held and they have put the children on child protection for the 'risk of emotional abuse' as father refuses to accept hes problem and I am downplaying hes mental health issues even though hes mental health worker says he doesnt have any mental disorder!
The conference was held as if he was still in the family home which he is not
Its now got even worse as they have told us that I need therapy to come to terms with the 'domestic abuse' I have suffered and my child needs therapy as well, also dp has to attend a parenting course.
They have made it very difficult for dp to attend any of these meetings as they hold them all in the afternoon even though we have repeatedly told them he can only do mornings coz of hes work
They threatened me this afternoon that as I am reluctant to go to therapy I'm giving het ammunition to take it to court for a care order
I must add there has been absolutely no issue since hes breakdown 15 months ago
This is having an awful effect on my 4 year old ds, he is waking nightly crying for hes daddy, hes begun wetting himself at school and s not eating properly
I just dont know what to do, they say this is coz he is at risk of emotional damage when it's them causing all the upset in this household :-(

All the hosiery is here though so if the OP starts a new one, one of us can link it for her.

Fecking ipad.

History not hosiery. FFS.

Think this is the op

Sorry x posted with you all. My mn froze.

Hope your ok op x

I've been thru it - here to listen and will try to help.

Oops, sorry. I didn't look at the OP's name. I just saw that it wasn't highlighted in the same colour and presumed it was a different poster.

I've just read the thread and although I don't have any direct experience, I have been very impressed by your strength, openness, willingness to listen and your efforts so far OP. I really hope you are ok, have continued to get the support you need and life is improving.

If you need more help or advice, there are lots of lovely people here who know way more than me so hope they can help you.

Keep going - you're doing so well!

help plz they want to take my babies

What's happened and what have you done or not done? What are they saying and what do they want you to do?

last conferene went terrible
dad will not seek help for hes mental/drink problem
plan is he has contact via my mum or hes mum, I have no involvement
if he does not get help they will take it further.
ive been told to seek legal advice although don't know why they didn't say.
I want to cut contact been told I am not aloud as he has rights
they wont stop!!!
i have been accused of telling my son not to talk. he is scared of social workers (i have had 7 in a year 1/2) she walked in on 2nd visit and he wouldn't go to a different room to talk to her he said he wants to stay with me. her exact words were "u have to talk to me without mummy, u have no reason to not like me." wtf is that? and then she said he was withdrawn and timid in her notes. seriously???
i want this to stop
i want contact with dad to stop as he is the soul reason they are around
but he wont comply and they said if he doent they will step it up, but i cant just stop it even though hes the one who is causing all this
HELP ME!! What the hell am i meant to do??

Do exactly what your social workers tell/advise you to do. Ask them exactly what they mean about the legal advice. Don't obstruct them when they want to talk to your children. You may not agree with their actions but if you fight them you may lose your children. Be compliant and you can come out of this OK.

i didn't obruct them my son refused to talk to them but that was apparently my fault.
i am being complient but they are making it more difficult, ive asked time and time again what legal action i should seek they keep telling me they "will find out"
its not me its their dad. he wont do it. i want to stop contact. social services will not allow that.
now what do i do?

ive changed my name btw its still me

Get legal advice.

i cant afford to just seek legal advice, im a part time working single mum with no financial support.
they are not going to stop till they take my kids

What are their issues with YOU? You are going on about their dad but they don't live with him and have contact only with somebody else present,from what you are saying.

What do you mean by 'it's not me it's their dad' ? It makes no sense. They either want contact to happen or they don't,which is it? They clearly do have an issue with you so please don't blame it all on a father that does not live with them and has a little 'supervised' contact.

Regarding 'legal action', you don't need to be asking them what 'legal action to Yale's, you need to go and visit a solicitor.

They will stop if you do as they require.

What do they want you to do and what are their issues with you?

You could post here in legal op.

no he has contact with the kids with my mum or hes mum has been that way for 6 months.
their problem is kids dads mental/drink problems. there has been domestic violence in the past
contact was at first with me but dad was resectioned in the middle of that so it was agreed that i would not be involved in contact which i agreed to.
i was told to seek legal advice. never explained to me no matter what i ask (ive phoned 3 times a day at one point)

i said at last conference i want to stop contact between my kids and their dad. they said no. however if he doesn't comply and seek help they will step it up. he wont. i want to stop contact because of that. im told i cant as dad has rights. this makes me feel completely out of contril

the only problem they had with me was me minimising hes behaviour, which i no longer do. honestly the entire child protection was all about dad, the only thing i had to do was make sure my youngest saw the health visitor and had hes weight done
basically he is why the social services are involved, it took me a while to realise this.
i feel like its all out of my hands.

all i want is the kids to stop seeing their dad since he is the one causing all this but i cant? why cant i? if he goes there is no issue

So you got the baby weighed as asked and all was well?

The children have a right to contact with Dad. It is being supervised so you refusing contact may be seen as wrong by ss.

baby is on 50th percentile has been since birth, i say baby but hes 17 months now so toddler really. developing well no issues with him at all

because he refuses to get help with hes mental health and drink problem. which they have said if he doesn't sort out they will step it up.
seriously what do i do?
i cant stop the contact so they take this further, but if i do they will do it anyway?
cant win