Teach a shy girl how to flirt please!

[fluffyduckie]

I am shy and have a crush and want to learn to flirt!

I just don't know how and worry that I will make a total fool of myself. I just don't know how to do it in a natural way. I'm not sure if he would think I was crazy if I started hair twirling and fluttering my eyelashes!

So he is quiet and I am shy and, unless I do something, this will never move on.

I have been working on my confidence and my appearance but flirting just seems beyond me.

Why not just work on some conversation openers instead

-How are you today?

• How was your weekend?
• That's a nice shirt you've got on

Do you work together? Depending on how you know him we can make more suggestions.

The best way to flirt is to smile IMO

Oh and confidence but you're already working on that.

Talk to him, ask him how he is, if he had a good weekend etc. Don't flutter your eyelashes, that's for cartoons, he'll think you have grit in your eye or a twitch.

Agree with cottonbuds. Smile. Talk, ask him questions about himself. Relax and be confident but without being gabby or talking at him.

There are many different ways of flirting but it should never include something that doesn't come naturally to you, or it will just appear affected.

If you are a shy, sincere person, then that can be your thing.

As pp said, just ask him questions about himself, and let him see your genuine interest. That's plenty flirting.

Good luck x

Don't start flirting if you've never done it. Just be your lovely genuine shy sincere self. However, the one thing that never hurts is to show LOTS of interest in your intended target. Nothing more appealing than someone who finds you utterly fascinating :)

at grit in your eye or a twitch.

Just talk to him duckie, throw in a few compliments and yes, smile. You don't have to be all giggly-flirty for a man to take an interest.

Hope it goes well!

I am rubbish but I would say start by just being friendly.

Look him in the eye & SMILE!! He will melt inside.

I am kind of plain and shy so he has no idea that I like him ....

Another thought... How do you know this person? If you worked together, for example, all you'd have to do is slip the words 'I think Trevor in Accounting is nice' into a conversation with anyone and he'd know you liked him within the space of a few hours. :) Got any mutual friends?

Hijacked the Mrs's account to answer this.

From what you've said, he's likely to be totally unaware (although not unhopeful) that you're interested.

I'd be blatant if I were you, will save a lot of (very British) awkwardness. At the end of the day (trust me on this) either you will get a result, or you will have a few drinks with the girls to save face.

No-one will bat an eyelid.

He is probably boring his mates to death about this fantastic bird, they are telling him to grow a pair, shit or get off the pot, etc...

How do you know him?

He manages a local shop where a friend of mine works. Don't see him often though and when ever I do there seems to be a shop full of people!

Perfect! You're friend is in there and can do a little groundwork for you to get you noticed and maybe find out what he likes etc so you can start chatting. If you know him that way, I can see how it wouldn't really be appropriate to start a conversation about how his weekend was or that you like his clothes - he might think that's a bit strange.

Can you go earlier or later in the day when the shop isn't so busy?

Can your friend find out (carefully) if he's going to a pub or something and then you turn up with a different friend - so it doesn't look suspicious?

I need to know to!! Joined a running club few months ago and came face to face with a hot man, he told me not to look so scared. And when we came back from run I was smiling and he said that's better.. Next 2 weeks I arrived and he said nice to see you again I just froze and didn't respond.. He hasn't spoke to me again since and he is so fit. Last night I dreamt he asked me out so I guess it will now never happen. The opposite of dreams happens doesn't it!

I am going to quiz her a little bit but I don't think he is one for nights out and he seems to work a lot.

I tend to be friendly and smiley with everyone so I need to figure out a way to be more than the usual friendly with him and yet not be too forward.

chocolatespiders - sounds like something I would do! When I am nervous I either ramble or turn completely silent!

'Practice' with other people too at striking up conversations. Just say good morning to random people or start chatting at the bus stop. Ask the checkout person how their day has been so far.

The more you do it, the more natural it will become and not so intimidating when it's someone you fancy.

Absolutely agree with practising. I basically flirt with everyone - eye contact, sharing jokes, giving compliments, asking them questions and remembering the things they've told me next time I see them, being extra pleased to see people (big hi, eyecontact, how are you etc)... it is very difficult to do stereotypical eyelash-batting/boob-thrusting flirting without coming across weird!

Smile

Smile

Eye contact. Every time. You'll know.

^"Making physical contact is a pretty clear sign of flirtation.

You're in conversation and you gently place your hand on their arm whilst making a point. Briefly whilst maintaining eye contact."^

We've heard enough from you, Lord Rennard!

It's a toughie if you don't see him much. However, often if a girl shows any kind of friendly, conversational interest, the bloke will likely pick up on it.

A crush, however, is rubbish and if you ever - ever - find yourself having daydream conversations with him in your mind that go just the way you want them to, disaster beckons! When you actually run into them, the script never goes the way you want. This happened to me with - get this - a gal who I actually knew had a crush on me, lovely girl too but we never got it on. There is an air of unreality about it, and whenever I made to approach her after work she would act like an unexploded bomb, she really wasn't having it. Then, whenever I talked to her just normally, with no actual intent, she would go all trembly and her lip would quiver. Asking her out for a drink would have seen her dreamworld crashing down, it seemed.

On the other hand, healthy, open sexual attraction is quite grounding
and more likely to get a result imo.

I don't think he could possibly be more nervous than me!

He wasn't there when I popped in at lunch time. Don't want to go to often or they will think I am crazy or some sort of stalker.

I never really had a crush before and it is quite unsettling! It would be much easier if he wasn't such a nice man.

Somehow, as soon as I decided to pluck up the confidence to attempt to flirt with him, I now don't bump into him!