My husband had an 18mth affair

[Whatnow2014]

I discovered in Oct 2013 that my husband of 6.5yrs had been having an affair for the last 18mths.

I found out he didn't confess. We have 3 kids under 6.

I can admit that we weren't getting on well before he started that affair. Me at home with 3 under 4 - possibly PND. I gained weight and in turn lost my sex drive. HOWEVER, none of that justifies him having an affair.

We both wanted to give us another go and immediately started counselling. All going great until start of this year. I just can't stop thinking about what he did. I don't know how / if I will ever be able to forgive/trust him again.

We are getting on really well, best in years. Sex is great. But.... Am I expecting too much too soon? Am I off my rocker for wanting to give it another go?

I would really appreciate some advice from anyone that has been through this.

Thanks

Cogito's first post is awesome in that it makes so much sense to me.

Personally I couldn't forgive an affair - especially such a longstanding one. 18 months is plenty of time to develop real feelings for someone. But I realise people do choose to forgive and repair. It will just never be the same and I just couldn't live with someone capable of the worst kind of deceit.