What can I do about this one? It's a bit long.

[Stickyfeet]

DH is going away on a work trip next month. Long haul for 10 days. Was initially him and a male colleague, now they've decided to take two juniors, one of whom is female and very beautiful.

They are planning, for the sake of economy, to rent a two-bed apartment. The plan being that him and his colleague take a bedroom each, the juniors take the sofa beds in the living space. However, he's not known for his ability to stand his ground with arrangements like this (simply in the sense that when someone else bagsys the better bed they tend to win), so who knows how it will end up. Great apartment, gym, jacuzzi on the roof.

I'm pissed off. I'm aware that on a spectrum of possessive to couldn't-give-a-shit, I guess I tip over to the possessive side... but really, it's a rare occasion that I feel like this.

My issues are, to begin with, this is not what I signed up for. Until I went into hospital with my first child, we'd never spent a night apart. The trips away began with one weekend conference a year, but now are numerous trips away, including these longer stays. He has control over the trips he goes on, although I accept that professionally there is a benefit, so there it is. I am also grizzly because I never 'get' to do this sort of thing. I annoy myself with this one, because it's not like anyone can stop me, but I miss my babies SOOO much that it outweighs the advantages. So I'm not jealous of him going exactly, but more that he can detach himself enough to do it, iyswim. It limits my own professional development and it means that DH does not have to deal with the apartment sharing, jacuzzi sharing situ in reverse because my life is not so glamorous. Oh yes, and I'm jealous that he's going to spend 10 days having lots of fun with a beautiful woman while I am dishevelled and covered in baby snot.

I could put all this stuff aside if they had a more professional accommodation, a hotel with a separate room/bathroom for the female junior would be fine. It's the two bed apartment which is really fucking me off. But apparently they've looked and this isn't an option due to cost.

WWYD?

I went on a 2 day job interview once where i was put in a flat with 4 guys. I was pissed off at having to share a bathroom with 4 strangers, but at least I had my own room! No way i would agree to that.

If you trust your husband don't worry, however I would question why he thinks this is a normal way to conduct business travel.

^This. This is how I feel about it summarised into one sentence.

I think your husband sounds a bit unpleasant to have made these sleeping arrangements. I've never heard anything like it. I'm surprised you feel threatened by this "beautiful junior", I think a more human response would be to feel protective.

What business are they in??

Who is responsible for booking this apartment? The whole thing is ridiculously unprofessional.

The obvious thing if they want to take two juniors along is to put them in the nearest budget hotel. Compared to the price of two additional long haul flights the cost would be minimal.

As to your concerns OP, it's highly unlikely that the 'beautiful' colleague will be interested in your husband, so don't worry about that.

I agree Logg1e, but its not clear if it was the husband's idea & he actually booked it (not that it makes much difference, he should have vetoed the whole thing).

Unless he & his mate actually own the company, this is all on expenses anyway.

Why do the men get the bedrooms and the women get the sofa beds? Sorry either this is totally made up or the employees need to be asking for suitable sleeping arrangements. This would be totally inappropriate.

I guess Twinkle but I find it unlikely they've been told, "You two senior men get a bedroom each, but the other two sleep in the living room".

I agree - the whole thing stinks to high heaven.

No Porto the two in the living room are one man and one woman. Unless the other junior is female, but that's not specified because she's not beautiful.

No company would do this.

Thank you wise women. You've calmed me down and made me smile and set me up for a much more sensible conversation with DH.

And yes, the issue of where the two juniors are sleeping is actually the more salient point in all of this; it's not acceptable and maybe by the time I've caught up properly with DH he'll have realised this too he will have by the time I've finished with him

OP, you still haven't answered several people who have asked if your H was responsible for the booking

It's totally unprofessional to expect a woman to share a sofa bed in a shared living space with a male colleague, while also expecting her to share a bathroom with 3 male colleagues. Poor woman- I do hope that this hasn't been set up deliberately so that she has no privacy/ dressing space, and that it's selfishness/stupidity/thoughtlessness on the part of the men organising rather than anything deliberate.

The apartment facilities make it sound as though they are more bothered about the fun stuff like loafing about in jacuzzis than practical business arrangements- and yes, that does make it look as though he's arranging a relaxing getaway while you deal with children.

Just to add for Logg1e , juniors = 1 male 1 female, male is alright but no - I wouldn't say beautiful . To be fair, I did specify that only one was female, so didn't disregard him completely on that basis

Logg - well that is even more ridiculous then. As I said - no company would do this. They would be opening themselves up to all sorts of shite.

No bloody way would i agree to sleeping on a sofa bed! Let alone a lone female doing same. They need rooms for each employee.

If this was genuine - the woman should get a bedroom and the men should fight it out amongst themselves. And no privacy, so I wouldn't be worried about your dh.

And btw if your husband and his colleague were gentlemen in this ludicrous setup, the lady would get one of the bedrooms, junior or not.

xpost with Portofino - exactly!

I would echo what the others have said re. the sleeping arrangements; they are totally unacceptable in a business environment. I travel a lot and would completely refuse this arrangement.

From a work perspective a junior female colleague sleeping in an open plan area, with 3 men, two senior is totally unprofessional.
The company has a duty of care to all employees. Men and women. And ensure that situations where accusations of inappropriate behaviour are avoided, and actual inappropriate behaviour are less likely to happen.

If I was the female colleague I would be very uncomfortable with the proposed sleeping arrangements.

Quite

who booked this sloppy set up ???

I'm the least jealous person on earth.

And the first thing I'd say to dh would be 'not happening, you're opening yourself up to a sexual harassment complaint if you let a woman sleep in the sitting room. What fuckwit thought this was a good idea'