Hedgehog thread 2

[Edenviolet]

I have received so much support in my previous thread and I am really grateful.

I'm continuing to try and sort things out and have started another thread so I can update.

Gamer as far as I remember Hedgehog is getting support for the diabetes. Did you get any advice from diabetes uk?

There is a local branch/support group of diabetes uk near where we live.

I have been in almost daily contact via email with diabetes team as well about dd night hypos but they wanted her to have more snacks but we decided to split her levemir dose.

Did you try the more snacks route?

We had been giving her a bit more at bedtime before they suggested it but she was going to bed with a blood sugar around 12-14 and by 1am was below 4.0 and we didn't want to give her even more snacks like they suggested so instead split the levemir dose.

The last two nights she has not needed a bedtime snack, has gone to sleep with a blood sugar of around 8.5-9.5 and last night hovered around 5.3 all night and the night before around 8.0 all night which was much better.

If step change or whoever does lower your credit rating then that's probably a good thing - do you want your h to be able to borrow more money?

I think dh has reservations about it as he wants at some point to buy our house and thinks that a bad credit rating will affect that.

I'm not too bothered really as we have a secure tenancy and I'd just be happier with more money free each month!

Today is starting to go a bit wrong, as much as I love ds2 he's incredibly hard work and I need a break from him but yet again dh refuses to take him.

Dh took dd to ballet, was meant to take ds2 too but said no as he was literally leaving the house. Same this afternoon with dd1 activity. Dh wants to sit for the hour reading/ on phone not looking after a whiny wriggly 1 year old. I'm stuck at home with him unable to get anything done. I can't even think he's such hard work.its making me agitated and annoyed with dh again.

Wrt the mortgage -- again, you H chooses something far into the future over practical here-and-now solutions to problems that are making your actual, real lives more difficult.

And sorry he can't be arsed to give you a break with DS2. How about sitting down with DS2 while H is out, and asking DH to do the necessary work himself when he gets home? If he says you can do the work yourself, then hand him DS2 and tell him it can only be done if he takes DS2.

Have you considered each having one day off each weekend? One of you takes Saturday off and one takes Sunday. On each day the person who is off can make dinner for the family, so nobody is saddled with everything plus dinner. If you're off Saturday then you make Saturday dinner and if he's off Sunday then he makes Sunday dinner. That way you would get one day off each week each. Dealing with who takes care of the DCs on an ad hoc basis isn't working. It is too easy for DH to just say no and get away with not doing his fair share. You need a solid, formal arrangement.

I know it's hard but you are just going to have ro cope more with dcs. What I used to do was turn it on its head - not the child, but the thoughts abiut looking after her. I used to say, great, I get to spend time with my lovely kids and play. He only has his phone to play with.

Our credit score wasn't reduced, and as others have said it is better you don't get any more credit. You don't want to buy the house, it just means more bills anyway.

Tell him the time to buy the house will be when the dcs are independent.

Great idea about having a day off each, that could work really well.

Hedge you could have more days off if you used the dcs benefit for childcare instead of for paying off debts! You must get dp to understand this. Owning a home is not a priority. The welfare of your family is.

A fair amount of dcs dla is already earmarked for certain things though, £250 a month for sensors, taxi money, paying for art/craft club for ds2, ballet for dd2 and to was dd1 school fees, ds1 food is expensive due to allergies etc so a lot of it already goes on dcs.

Some could be freed up but it wouldn't be a lot more. I will speak to dh again.

However you do it, you have to convey to him that here, today, now is what he needs to focus on, and not some time years from now.

Good luck with that -- I think he is deliberately avoiding dealing with the problems you have and taking refuge in pie eyed dreams of the future (and I have said before you would be better off without him therefore). I seriously think if he continues to refuse to acknowledge reality and deal appropriately with it he needs the boot.

I know it's a pain Hedgehog and sorry if we are all nagging you!

But from the outside it looks as though your life is sooooo hard and there are two simple solutions to help you.

One is to put all the debts on hold.
Two is to change to a smaller cheaper car which you would keep at home which the babysitter could use.

For what it's worth they should change the rules about carers only getting one carer's allowance. I think it's right that someone who cares for more people whether adults or children needs more money to look after themselves. But that's another thread of course.

I find the diabetes stuff very frustrating too - irrespective of anything else, if other posters reading this have newly diagnosed children (or are newly diagnosed themselves), I would hate them to think that this sort of constant hypo situation cannot be addressed.

It absolutely can.

It's not just about insulin and food, it's about exercise and activity too, and a balance needs to be found for short- and long-term health implications.

If she's 4 at 2am, what is she if you leave her a bit longer? 4 at 2am seems fine as she will probably go up anyway. Are you doing DAFNE?

Dd2 is very limited activity wise due to her joint problems/frequent dislocations, she has physiotherapy but most of the time is either in the buggy/sitting down and gets exhausted quickly.

We have tried splitting her background insulin dose which seems to have improved things a bit. D still has no hypo awareness at all but the dexcom cgms really helps with that.

On 1.5 u at night of she was 4.0 at 2 am she goes lower but with just 1u levemir at night she hovers around 4-5 which is much better and rises from 530 am onwards.

No experience at all with diabetes but I imagine any regime that depends on a regular level of exercise and activity would be pretty well impossible to maintain with EDS as they can go from totally normal activity levels to being unable to stand up at all at a moment's notice (or in some cases, even to sit up in bed). And it might take an hour or a month for them to recover- totally unpredictable.

Nothing much to suggest, just sending hugs.

Yes, but if the OP can regulate the exercise, then control should be easier - if her DD was doing differing amounts each day, then there would be different levels of insulin required. If there is little or no exercise able to be done, then the frequency of hypos is odd.

I don't think I was very clear there. A child who is type 1 and who does football at home when it's sunny, out on their bike some days, after school club others, lazes around others, will find it trickier to regulate their levels until they can see a pattern as is what energy expenditure = what insulin intake. If OP's DD is unable to do those sorts of activities, then there aren't those variables to take into account.

Sometimes dd has the same breakfast and lunch and on each of those days despite having same food and same insulin dose her levels are completely different, even the level of activity (not much at all) is the same.

I can't understand why her levels are what they are sometimes, since Christmas they have been very difficult but I cannot work out why.

We are waiting for a coeliac test result as the dsn wondered if she may have that but I'm not sure.