The Dating Thread 68.

[Bant]

Support for everyone, dating online or in real life.

No judginess, no shoutiness. Nuff said.

Hurray!
Good to hear your stories. I'm not into pics with kids, friends (usually turns out the ugly friend is your guy), tattoos, half naked, etc. some people haven't mastered the art of a selfis yet either....camera covering their face in mirror reflection!

My number 4 is proving a success. I'm trying my best not to invest too soon but it's hard when you really like someone. He make my stomach flip. He is so kind, caring and affectionate. My cup half empty attitude is waiting on something to go wrong!

Bloody hell, it's all been kicking off on here hasn't it!! :)

Don't, I take it everything is all good again with geeky??

Mine is coming over tomorrow, so there will def be 'the talk' re exclusivity - I'm a bit anxious about it. He's coming over to cook me dinner, so don't want to potentially spoil things by sounding too needy.
Do you all ask straight out, 'so, are you seeing anyone else?'
He seems to be online every day (but is always the last one to look at my profile), but then again, so am I (but only to see if he's been online!)

Bant - from a male perspective, would you go online just to see the profile of someone you've been seeing, or is it more likely he's just chatting to other people too?

I wondered that Tiger.....I've not been online since we met but I can view him without logging in and could see he was online yesterday. But someone mentioned earlier that pof can show you as online far longer than you were. I was wondering if you agree to be exclusive...is that an automatic deleting of your profile?

Flora I once viewed a guys profile to get a better view of what turned out to be the friend, He emailed, I asked for clarification, turns out the HOTTY was his friend, I apologised and asked him if his friend was single, NO REPLY! Idiiiiioooooot!

Dippin how old are your DCs? I find it easier because mine are older and are self reliant. Do you think you rushed into doing the deed? I asked you earlier if you thought it might be a case of our trust issues rearing their ugly head???

I feel this may be a big learning curve. That includes my weird fear of selfies, which I guess could be an age thing. But I do feel positive about the binning of the one contact! I was on Match but literally no messages - have currently suspended account. Being on both makes me feel really desperate!

It could be trust issues master .. all seems too good to be true! My exh cheated spectacularly. . . I have been speaking to a rl friend and she thinks I'm not used to a nice guy and I feel guilty for dtd so soon . In saying that I dtd with exh on night 1 !! Mine dc are 2 & 4 ..

Flora STAY POSITIVE, self fulfilling prophecy and all that. We have got to believe it's going to work out.

Tiger the cyber stalking head fuck, been there, done that! Just ask him directly hopefully his response will be honest. The worst he can say is, "I'm just not there yet" which is NO BIGGIE, but at least you then know where you stand and can take it from there. Don't let fear of rejection or coming across as needy prevent you from getting the answers you seek and deserve. YOU ARE THE PRIZE

Flora - I'm not on POF, am on GSM, but I have heard that sometimes on all the sites, the last time someone was online isn't always accurate.
However, I can def see mine was online, as he's looked at my profile each time.

Will see what happens when I ask him tomorrow, but if I'm still not sure, I may need to ask someone who's also on GSM to do a little test for me, to check whether he's chatting to others - would that be really sneaky??

I don't know about rushing dtd.. he was lovely .. I told him before date 2 , I was really nervous about it all ! He said it was all up to me , no pressure , there are no right nor wrongs !!

Master you're right. Will just be good to know where I stand.

So...can everyone give a quick update as to where they are with dating. I've gotten a bit lost, sorry.

Mags you are not desperate, just widening your search. I've seen guys who have both profiles up on match and POF simultaneously!

Dippin reprogramming your head and heart after all that shittyness is a work in progress, just don't let it prevent you from finding love again.

Flora in my book exclusivity = deletion/hiding of profile!

tiger I met my exh online .. after one week we both deleted our profiles ! That was 7 yrs ago and pre kids !

Thanks Master....I thought that. Maybe after this weekend me and number 4 will have the chat! I shall try to remain positive. He's already invited me to his families island home, so I feel special lol

Flora island, can I come, pleaaaassssseeeee???

Tiger that IS sneaky, don't do it. Take a leap of faith. Liars and cheats eventually get caught out. But it's your call. How would you feel if he set you up? I do realise you're only trying to protect yourself, but no.

UPDATE: Mr Dublin is in Dublin, I'm making a real effort to stay emotionally detached, but we talk all the time., Mr Wales is caught up in his life changing drama, but will be over in two weeks hopefully. I'm on Tinder, flirting and just trying to keep my options open. I deleted my POF profile. The guy from Tinder who asked me out on a date just went quiet, I'm not bothered either way.

I've got bigger fish to fry, weightloss and getting my fitness back on track, and oh job hunting again.

Dippin that's good to hear!
BUT re deletion of profiles - how do you actually know they've deleted it and aren't just hiding it from you (and still chatting to others)

flora that sounds great !

master reprogramming is definitely needed I think !! He just sent me a lovely message.. !

Yeah master, I reckon I'd be upset if I found out he set me up, so I won't do it.

Flora - island??? Where is it?

Tiger take a leap of faith! Don't go looking for issues unless he gives you a reason. Take his word, trust him until he breaks your trust. These are all notes to myself too.

i know master, I'm probably just being needy.
I texted him at 8pm to say I was really excited about seeing him tmrw, and no reply, then again about half an hour ago to say goodnight, but no response :( I'm being overly needy aren't I? Slap me!

Im glad this thread is back on track (i dont post ofetn, but follow you all avidly!), ive had a brief 2 month experience with OD-
1st was Fitness for Singles, i faffed about then decided to pay-it was full of people saying basically 'my bikes better than yours', so i left.
2nd was POF, i met a fitness instructor with a body to die for, i spent a month in his company (boy oh boy do i wish id known about this site-red flags aplenty!!)
3rd, i decided that as POF man was a knobber, and if anyone was serious? they'd pay rather than be a cheapskate Match was my next port of call.-still full of knobbers!
4th back to POF, if anything it was fun, highly addictive (phone apps should be banned!), i met a 'vertically age challenged male' 9hope that satisfys the politically correct out there), he was basically a short arse old man claiming to be tall and young-luckily my eyesight intact i soon spotted these errors and ran with a cagoule on my head to my car to prevent a kiss goodbye!!
Finally, POF came good! i met the absolute man of my dreams, he isnt the 35 year old 6ft mountain biker i was looking for, instead hes what i needed. We've been together 9 months now, and love each other so much.
Morale of my story? it doesnt matter which site you go on, the right ones out there somewhere.

Don't think you're being needy wondering why he didn't reply to 2 texts tiger, unless that's something normal for him.

The worst that can happen is that they break our hearts, just like our ex's. YOU WILL SURVIVE THAT if it happens. You will not die, you will probably be angry, upset, depressed, but you WILL survive! Honestly having our hearts broken is not the end of the world, otherwise you wouldn't be on a dating thread, picking up the pieces and moving on.

One old woman once said to me, "Master we all spend so much of our time crying etc over the man we love, he's not even related to you!" I said but "if I'm married to him he is," she said "no, he's not your blood relative" I don't know why, but that sometimes makes me feel better! I've spent so long crying bla bla bla over people who aren't even my blood relatives, I hope it makes sense to you, to me it does.

Thanks Hansel - he did text earlier in the day at about 6 to tell me what he was cooking for dinner, and earlier on he messaged me online to say hello, so perhaps he feels he's done the contact for the day, dunno, maybe men don't place the same emphasis on texting back as we do, but I just find it rude when people don't text back...

Oh, he just texted this minute! :) he's been out and about...

Master - you are so right. I think I'll have to 'man up' a bit from now on.