The Dating Thread 68.

[Bant]

Support for everyone, dating online or in real life.

No judginess, no shoutiness. Nuff said.

I'm Sorry, but you won't see that storyline coming, it's intertwined with a whole lot of other story lines. I'll keep quiet on that now.

I apologise for any offence caused last night. Although it was fun it was terribly puerile and I can see that it would have caused some damage.

And in a rare Spartacus moment I will say it was me who said you had accused Bant of lying when you were discussing his phantom posters.

I came onto my favourite thread to update on my date. But I don't think I will bother. How a place can change so quickly. This thread was my lifeline :0(

To everyone that's left or taking a break due to the drama, I sincerely apologise, but I hope that you can understand my need to hijack the thread in order to defend myself and/or clarify any misunderstandings when I comment.

To those of you who have supported me, I luuuurrrrvvveeee you all, (((CUDDLES))).

PLEASE COME BACK when you're ready, and I hope you're not gone too long.

And from me too. Any issues I have with masters writing style will be sorted out by PM, or at most an emoticon on here. Okay? (Okay, master?)

The thread is supportive for all. And we should know that others take note of what is said, so no personally identifying stuff, and nothing that can be seen as a personal attack

Master - I'm sorry if you saw what I said as a personal attack, it really wasn't. As I said, I see capitals as shouting and your style of messaging doesn't gel well with mine, but I really didn't mean to start some war. I know you're supporting people in your way, and I'll do it in mine. Peace?

Can it all stop now please .. I've been following the threads for ages and have so enjoyed them and found I can relate to alot if the situations and alot of the advice makes so much sense. Its awful that so many are dropping out .. I'm now having to watch celebrity big brother , which is woeful !
Should thread 69 be created ... just by its title 69 it has to be a good one enjoyed by all ;-)

Well I've found 69 to be a bit of a letdown to be honest. It's a nice idea in theory but there's just too much concentration and farting. Like a weekend in Germany.

Dippin there you go with the dirty CBB word, potty mouth, BUT BUT, I must say there's a girl in there (Jasmine Waltz) she's such a SLORE, basically slept her way through Hollywood, I know all this crap because I've been reading up about it, hahahaha, honest. Anyway someone posted links to her porn video's, Mr Dublin and I ended up watching a bit of them, she looks like she's high as a kite in the videos, I guess from what I'm reading in the papers she is legs wide open in the CBB house???

Yes yes yes to thread 69er!

I am happy to move this thread on because I NEED HELP!
Clearly I am not at grips with online dating. So far I have sent about 15 messages and only 1 reply. From someone that asks me a couple of times a week how things are.
1 reply! I feel sure this is well under average? I consider myself a reasonably attractive, just-hit-40 woman. I admit I dont reply to messages that include a gym/muscle selfie fest. Maybe my write-up is a little brief and sarcastic. But I guessed no one reads those anyway.
Please - wise advice fellow daters. I am fine with adopting the thick skin, but am I just being too picky? ( oh, desperation is not an attractive trait..)
Thank you

Hi Mags - what sort if thing are you sending when you message them? Are you messaging people who would be likely to reply eg similar age, reasonably local?

I used to find most of my dates came from contact started by the man. Didn't send a lot of first messages, and didn't get too many replies. One notable exception was the man I'm seeing now - he obviously had good taste

Mags, which site(s) are you using? I have found that on POF, it quite often shows that folk are online when you search, but when you look more closely they may not have been logged on for some time.... Maybe you just picked a few who haven't yet picked up your message? I'd be tempted just to write them off in any case, and choose some more guys to message. They do say it's a numbers game, after all ;)

Mags maybe a generalisation! but most men are visual creatures, so on that note, how many pix do you currently have showing? Are they all pix with just yourself in them or group shots (my pet peeve)???

When I was on POF and match I only had 3 pix up, 2 head shots and one full length.

Which website are you on??

master I know cbb .. crap but addictive !! Great to see all the z listers are useless at relationships too and so unsecure !! It's taken my mind off feeling wrecked from my last two nights with date no 1 !! Only consolation is he too is wrecked ;-)

Thanks ohwestern Yep I am keeping to my age range, my area etc. Interesting that your dates were from them starting contact. Its not that I haven't had any messages, just that no one who's caught me with what they've said or their profile. One of the blokes at work is also 'dating'. We have update chats - maybe I'll get him to give a male perspective. Happy news for you and your good-taste man - I will keep looking, just maybe less messages

Are you sure your settings are correct, that you are not blocking potentials because you've accidentally for e.g. selected "block x age range" or only show potentials from "10mile radius"???

Dippin when I'm feeling REALLY low, I like to remind myself that even Halle Barry, as beautiful as she is, can't keep a man, hahahahaha! hangs head in shame what makes that even crazier is that I look NOTHING like her, but it makes me feel better! Sick and twisted isn't it........

Hi mags,

Well ive just re-done my profile on match.com. I've had an empty profile sitting there for a while as I was using a different site as I'm in a place where match has no profiles, and I was getting more luck with OKC to meet new people.

So I added a photo to my match profile, added some profile text and I suddenly get .. Hang on I'll look..11 'interested' and 30 views in a day.

This makes me feel wonderful of course. Women like me!

And then I dig further. 3 of them are more than 50 miles away. I'll fly to Australia for someone I love but I won't bother with a first date 50 miles away as I'd never get to know them.

4 potatoes. Sorry.

2 left. One is obviously fake. Russian. No text in the profile, model pictures, describes her likes as 'pleasing a man' 'being a good wife' and 'being a good christian'. Probably not my type, if only because of the devil-worshipping I get up to on weekends.

One prospect left. She looks okay. I send her a message. No reply.

Obviously this is just an example of all the people who I'll fail to meet. But the point is, it's a numbers game. Of all those people who failed to reply, most of them would have been wrong for you anyway. If you walk into a bar with 200 people,how many will you typically got it off with, would you be depressed when you left alone? It takes several goes, and several dozen dates, generally, before you meet someone who is actually worth the effort. But then it was worth it.

wagonwheels I did spot this after a while. But its been the minority of cases
master I have struggled a bit with the photos. They are either of me with mates holding alcohol (= lush) or hideous ones the kids have taken. I did post a full length one and had to bite the bullet and do a selfie. I'm on POF. Messages vary from 'Hi' to 'What i would do to you' and the one contact I do have going, I suggested a drink which he said sounded good but that was about 2 weeks ago. Is this flogging a dead horse?

Ha ha master this is very true !! I don't know why I feel so crap .. it all felt right last night dtd on date 2 .. he has been texting today . I'm just finding dating 7 yrs later strange and hard work .. 2 young dc .

mags I too have found sending guys messages first totally pointless !! Even the ones who say "I always reply " , so I now let them contact !!

And maybe change site too Mags? I had no luck at all, not even messages, on OKC, but Match and PoF were both really good. I used to use both of those sites at once and got good results, but I think it all depends on geography as to what the best sites are.

Yeah, give up on this guy, don't think he's a goer. Could you get a friend round to take some more photos for you?

Haha Bant so many potatoes. Pleasing a man sounds worth a shot, surely...
Thank you all for the advice. I shall try the abstaining approach for a while. Failing that I will start talking to the musclemen

Mags all of my good pix have been selfies. I literally get all dolled up and just stand in front if my mirror and take shot after shot after shot, sit down realise they all look terrible and try again, there is bound to be one good one. My best lighting is in my bathroom, directly against a plain tiled wall. My full length one was taken by my son, in the hallway, on my way out to something or other.

Personally I don't like pix with mates, especially holding alcohol, or of your children/pets. But some people on here don't seem to mind. I don't mind dogs, but a pic with a man with his dog screams "I'm always going to have to look for a dog sitter" which may or may not be true. I guess others looking and seeing children might be put off by the children.

If he hasn't asked you after 2 weeks he's a time waster, bin him!

I found match useless ! Plus half the guys were also on pof or okc .. okc I found I seem to attract the guys wanting an affair or me to be a sub !! Pof I have met more guys off . I love the block button ... 20 yr olds wanting a life changing older woman ... or just twits offering to sniff my feet !! Wtf !!

Generally, and this is maybe a geographic thing, I found POF was populated by women who said 'I don't want liers or cheeters', which puts me off for two reasons; OKC had some weird-lifestyle but affable people; and match had normalish people who were willing to spend the equivalent of one movie-ticket a week on a subscription to meet someone. Match worked better for me when I was in the UK, OKC worked better for me abroad for the last year, POF has always been horrible