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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

i called dh a cunt

31 replies

untouchable · 12/01/2014 01:29

So after being treated like shit being forced into celibacy for 7 years only to find out 2 weeks ago that he gets his jollies from on line porn I told him I thought he was a cunt. This is very bad as he doesn't like swearing, but you know what? He fucking deserved it. I am sick of feeling like a non woman and have had my self esteem eroded to nothing and tonight I stood up for myself and it feels great...even though I have cried buckets. It is tgr

OP posts:

MillyRules · 12/01/2014 01:35

Nothing wrong with the cunt thing as he deserves it but you need to talk to him and try and sort out this lack of sex thing as you deserve better.

Merel · 12/01/2014 01:37

Sorry to be blunt, I can feel that you are in a bad place, but it sounds like calling him a naughty word is smallest problem in this relationship. Why do you think you have put up with this for seven years? Did he lead you to believe he was asexual?

Original poster

untouchable · 12/01/2014 01:38

No he led me to believe it was stress problem...no stress when it came to typing in porn though...

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Original poster

untouchable · 12/01/2014 01:41

I feel more in control than I have in years. He was a little taken back when I made it clear I knew my rights. He blames it all on the evil Mumsnet

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Original poster

untouchable · 12/01/2014 01:43

He had agreed to go to relate but he had started to back track...no consideration for how I felt at all about the porn. Said "what are you going to do when they tell you it is normal?" Pushed the wrong button with me that did.

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PissesGlitter · 12/01/2014 01:47

Are you kidding me, he is offended by the word cunt but uses porn whilst not having sex with his wife for 7 years??!!!

Leave that bastard

tallwivglasses · 12/01/2014 01:50

Good for you, OP. Why should you comply with his 'norms'? It's to do with respect, isn't it?

Original poster

untouchable · 12/01/2014 01:51

Yes pisses, he is a twat and that is where it will end up as soon as my financial situation is sorted. Have had to give up my business due to ilk health so need to find out what I can do money wise. Own another house so can't claim benefits, he is on low income too. Bugger!

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Original poster

untouchable · 12/01/2014 01:55

Thank you for your support. I am now going to try to get the first nights sleep in 2 weeks...whilst he continues to sleep the sleep of the just because he is more concerned about his golf tomorrow than his marriage...twat.

OP posts:

tallwivglasses · 12/01/2014 02:02

Have a lovely sleeeeep :)

CogitoErgoSometimes · 12/01/2014 08:44

I think one swear word after 7 years of deception and rejection is pretty mild actually. Don't let lack of money prevent you from starting the ball rolling towards being independent though. Information-gathering is free. Good luck

Lizzabadger · 12/01/2014 08:48

The diddums doesn't like swearing? Too coarse and shocking for his ears? Aah. Innocent little porn addict darling.

Kick him to the kerb.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 12/01/2014 08:56

Oh it's a Madonna/Whore thing isn't it? Rocks off to his online whores with their dirty talk and genital close-ups..... but the OP is saddled with the role of non-sexual homebound madonna and no expletives shall pass her saintly lips. Double standards

What an arse.

jayho · 12/01/2014 11:16

he's a cunt a fucking wanking tossing cunt.

shall we all work on new expletives for you?

tiamariaxxx · 12/01/2014 12:33

Lol, think id of said more than that to him

Pollydon · 12/01/2014 12:40

He is a cunt.

akawisey · 12/01/2014 12:46

Darling, there are certain circumstances where there is no other option than to let one's inner Anglo Saxon woman out.

This was one of them.

Lazyjaney · 12/01/2014 12:55

7 years no sex? Cunt is too mild a term. Life is too short for that.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 12/01/2014 13:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

untouchable · 12/01/2014 14:27

Well no, it isn't, it was me feeling a tad better than nothing for the first time in 7 years but don't worry because I am back to feeling like crap today after an unsuccessful at a nights sleep. I called him a 'cunt' because he said some really awful things to me including that relate would say I was being unreasonable and that at least he didn't beat me like my x did. There are some things that even the most patient down-trodden person in the world can't put up with. I will also be calling him a lot more names if he has the stupidity to say anything like that to me when he gets
back from his lovely day playing golf whilst I look after our child...again.

Cognito I asked him about the Madonna/Whore thing when this all came out a couple of weeks ago, he didn't understand, he just said that he had forgotten how to treat me in a loving way, so yes, I think that is exactly what it is as it started immediately after birth of only child.

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LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA · 12/01/2014 14:30

This is the most approrpriate use of the word cunt that I have seen in a long time - good for you!! And what is it with this men who fuck off all day playing golf???

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 12/01/2014 14:33

That's awful, untouchable, it really is and my post is clearly inappropriate. I'll ask MNHQ to delete it.

I'm sorry that you didn't get any sleep and hope that your plans to go come to fruition soon.

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay · 12/01/2014 14:39

This is one of those occasions where there should be a worse word than cunt eh?
I had a relationship that was 7 years totally sexless (loads of excuses). He eventually ran off with a total tart with a fanny pelmet for a skirt and a top that went to the south coast but......I guess she found out soon enough that all wasn't as advertised in the trouser department as he soon asked me if he could come back by which time I was using similar words to you and, more importantly, had the attitude to go with it, as you seem to finally have. It was great! You go kid, bin him off!

estarone · 12/01/2014 14:41

don't call him names. you are just allowing him to then say - you are as bad as me. if he values his relationship he should go to relate. your situation is entirely unfair. I understand why you called him that, but it just gives him ammunition.

Original poster

untouchable · 12/01/2014 14:43

Sorry Lying I didn't mean to make you feel bad it was my fault as I didn't actually say what led me to call him a cunt in the OP as I was feeling victorious and wasn't really talking about the bad stuff. I can see that it looked like I was just being mean. No need to delete. I was in a strange, powerful mood last night when I had reached my limit. :)

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