The Brave Babes Battle Bus - A New Year, A New YOU!

[Mouseface]

New Year Resolutions Anyone?

Welcome one and all, I'm Mouse, nice to meet YOU. :)

This is a thread for those who want to give up drink completely, or are maybe thinking about doing controlled drinking, or cutting down slowly, it's all up to you.

You know your limits, you know what is required, it's in YOUR hands.

Whatever your goal, you'll find unconditional support here. Always.

There will be talk of drinking quite often and those who fall off the Bus will post about it, so if that is going to jeopardise your chances of complete sobriety, then maybe the DRY threads would suit you better, as they are complete abstainers, but EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE :)

There are no hard and fast rules, other than the support here is unconditional, it may be in the form of tough love at times, but it's always meant with the very best of intentions.

There are two sayings that we rather like here -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

For those of you who'd like some history, here is the very first thread and the reason that we're all here now. FIRST THREAD

And here is the lastest thread, which you can scroll back through to see the other JOURNEYS SO FAR

The Bus may be 'mythical', but the support is real, it is honest and it will help you to achieve what it is that you seek, as long as you are honest with us, but mostly, YOURSELF

See you soon. x

Anne I am definitely going to push on into dry February if you want some company. And I am definitely sticking to my diet so that I can be two stone lighter by summer! AF days will help massively with that

Ma make the next run 11 days?

rural sorry that your feeling unwell, take it easy x

DD was invited for a sleepover tonight, and has now said she doesn't want to go.... because -

The parents always get drunk
The dad drinks loads of beers and sings embarrassingly
Last time she went, the mother came back from the pub and was sick (and the friend apparently said she always does that)

Obviously I don't know how true this is or if it's exaggerated - but it just goes to show what children notice.

Oooh, look

Sorry, joey x posted.

I'm sure there is a lot of it going on. Equally there are plenty of people who don't drink from one week to the next and think nothing of it. However, if my dd was being looked after by someone else I think I'd expect them to be more restrained than that! Good job she doesn't want to go.

evening babes

I've had a great few days with lots of nice things happening ('bout bloody time) so no depression and no booze either.

Massive well done to babes who are nearing the end of dry Jan. You can drink again in a few days time or you could go a little further. 1 whole month is a brilliant break for your liver though.

joey I really liked your post from yesterday. I used to catch the train everyday and the local secondary teens often caught the same train back. One poor girl was pouring her heart out to her friend about how sad she felt because her mum kept promising her that she would cut back on alcohol but always caved in and got drunk. Seemed to be happening most nights. Poor girl.wonder if her mum knew the effect it had on her dd? Your dd sounds very sensible to me.

Happy burns night all [tbsmie]

Well DD changed her mind (several times, partly because she likes to make a drama out of everything ) but eventually decided to go (it's only down the road, and we said if you're not happy just text us - preferably before midnight - and come home)

Fine line between saying "people are different, individual etc" and "if anything makes you feel uncomfortable, say NO"

Just finished my girls night in. Did not cave and drank my fake wine which was lovely till the 4th glass when it started to get sickly sweet. I did cave and have 4 fags but feel a bit crap now so won't bother with that next time I am out.

Completely fed up with myself for drinking need to do this so badly going to try day one today, already feels impossible got two year old in screening tantr already

I'm I really feel for you and I expect DC's woken everyone else too. Why not stick the TV on (low) get them some breakfast, get yourself back to bed try and get some more sleep. If not run yourself a lovely hot bath, have a pamper take your time. Take today one minute, hour at a time. Make something nice to eat for lunch and take it easy. If it's not pissing down get them all out for a walk at some point today. I hope you can get some more rest

Hello spanna lovely thankyou
I really really don't want to drink today feel almost a bit resentful that if I could have a good sleep, relax go for a walk and just be calm that not drinking would prove easer every day is like Groundhog Day waking at stupid I clock with me being tired and up to my armpits in mess of two toddlers sigh... I know its not just me there's others here with small dc x
Iv been inspired by why and considering a tattoo, to show no alcohol

I have desided to bring out my creative side today and make a poster full of statements of reasons not to drink if there good I may use one for a tattoo:

Can you throw ideas at me please, all the things that keep us from picking up the bottle or little quotes that's been long standing on the bus

Im that's a great idea. If you don't drink today you will feel that little bit better with yourself tomorrow. Hey, that could be one of your sayings.

If it rains all day, how about getting down a load of pillows, duvets and blankets and letting the dcs make dens on the living room floor. Use an old sheet for a 'picnic blanket' at lunchtime and let them eat there too and invite their dolls and teddies.

I know people have said that they wish they could bottle these bad feelings to remind ourselves not to drink but I would rather bottle the great feelings when we don't drink.

I remember being scared of a life without alcohol and now I cannot for the life of me think why I felt that. It's not scary, it's absolutely wonderful!

However bad things get, alcohol only makes it worse. Yes, sometimes the temporary relief helps when we self medicate but the side effects are horrendous and just keep getting worse.

Soon, we need the alcohol just to medicate the problem of alcohol. Hair of the dog they call it. Slippery slope we call it here on the bus. It's a merry-go-round and it will only make us sick.

Step off it, take a break from the relentless grind of drink - feel crap - drink, treat yourself to a break from that nagging voice, allow yourself the freedom from that horrible self doubt. You are worth it.

nuff thanks for ideas it is poring down here today

I used to be scared to not drink, Im not any more either I just can not stop, I have moved forward a bit, I can look forward to some benefits and am really looking forward to going sleep tonight and waking fresh in morning x

I do love the comfort I get from drinking though, time to find another comfort x

Morning babes

I think that some babes are very hard on themselves,remember that there are no saints on the bus! Everyone is just doing their best to get by on that particular day without booze and it is the act of trying and being mindful which makes the difference. It's so easy to stay ignorant and think that drinking doesn't matter or apply to you (me) so by rocking up and reading /posting /lurking you are actively trying to kick the bad habits. Brilliant!

I'm very glad that I haven't picked up again. It was lovely to get up with a clear head this am,get busy,spend time with family. I even had a conversation with my insane mother and just said 'mmm...' at the loonier things she said.That doesn't happen when I'm hung over.

I'm I;d like to get a tattoo for the same reasons but haven't yet. I want my tat to be a quote from Juliene of Norwich because it means so much to me - " all will be well" the full quote is ' All will be well,and all will be well and all manner of things shall be well' That would be a long tatt and I'm to scared to have much done. It's just a quote I like and helps me when I'm stressed.

When I first started cutting back I tried to be really mindful of my drinking. I analysed each sip. What was it that I liked so much? It wasn't the taste as there are plenty of alternative non-alcoholic drinks that taste better.

Eventually I narrowed it down to

1. the mental association that wine = feeling good and
2. the fuzzy feeling after two or three large glasses

That was it. There were no other benefits to drinking. But I realised that I could only achieve the 'fuzzy' feeling by drinking enough to get there and that meant that I would have a hangover. And I hate hangovers. So to get the benefit, I had to suffer the consequence. I just had enough of that.

All it meant was that I could never just enjoy a glass or two, I would always have to overdrink and feel crap the next day. I just didn't want to do that anymore, it wasn't worth it for me.

The other reason, the mental association is harder to kick I think. Physically, after about a week without alcohol, most of us have it out of our system and are not physically addicted to it, craving it the same way as before.

But, mentally, we still want it. It's like an intellectual battle. I know I feel better not drinking, so why do I want to drink? That's where changing my habits really helped. The longer I go without drinking, the less I want it. Now I can have just one glass if I want. But mostly I don't. I never really wanted just one glass did I? I was always chasing the fuzzy feeling.

Now I know. The drinks I like most are non-sweet chilled with ice in them. They are refreshing and I drink them a lot. I used to think I liked chilled dry white wine but now I realise I just like chilled drinks.

So silly, so simple and yet if I hadn't stop to think about it, I would still be mindlessly glugging.

I have found out so much about my drinking during my time on this bus. I learned how to recognise my triggers and avoid them, I was given strategies to prepare for potential situations, alternative ways to cope, endless chat and silliness to while away the hours...

I also discovered that I was craving sugar a lot and getting it from wine. Who knew?

Would be interesting to hear what others have learned on this amazing bus.

C'mon babes, spread the bus love...

OMG Guggs I love you!!

I have had that saying in my head, driving me mad. I even started a thread about it, asking if anyone knew it! Is it a novel or a poem? Tell me more...

I'm I quite like this one......

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
? Mahatma Gandhi

Guggs really like that quote see what you mean about the whole quote being a tat

Nuff your posts are so good and inspiring, thank you x

I like that spanna

Fantastic post nuff

Lovely quote guggs

Afternoon all, back on the bus; work was pretty full on last week, so by Friday, when I went to a colleague's retirement party I gave in (no, actually I just didn't think and went with old habits) and had a glass of wine, which led to another, which led to to whole nother bottle when I got home . So I spent yesterday with the Mother AND Father of all hangovers, but I saw it through and feel better today. So, back to day two, need to get my brain in gear for tomorrow.

It's going to be a tough week, because I'm giving a guest lecture tomorrow, have two full days of staff development, one of which is in London. My best friend who lives in Mexico is visiting at the same time I'm in London so we are meeting up for dinner. I also have research grants to read and award, conference organisation to kick off, my own lectures, research students to supervise . . . ODAAT!

Checks in
Will try again tomorrow.
Hunkers down in sidecar

Hi Ma could you try for the rest of the evening? We could chalk it up as a half day, just to get you going again.

Hello all, just a quick wave and well done to all who have abstained, hugs to those who .

Sorry not to nc as my head hurts due to having quite a few last night, but it was in extenuating circumstances, so going to forgive myself.

We went out for a meal last night with our friends that I mentioned a few days ago. Just heartbreaking to see them looking so sad, so lost. The world can be a cruel place sometimes. The baby's funeral is this Thurs.

Another dept is on it's way out at work. I work in 2 depts on different days (long story) and now both of these depts are closing. Meetings have been held all last week. The consultation period begins in April. And there is nothing on the intranet that's remotely like anything I've always done (admin and clerical). Eek....

I'm not going to have a drink tonight, so it's day 1 again for me.

How's the poster coming along, Im?

It's going good
I'm sober anyway x

Thank you sweet
That was enough to stop me going out to buy another bottle.
Hlaf day it is. 2 glasses

Sorry for sounding negative in my last post btw. I'm sure when the weather gets better and the days lighter, I'll be feeling more like my usual self :)

The good news is, we've booked our summer holiday for this year! We thought 'stuff it'. Cheering up a bit thinking about it :)
Anyway, night night, all brave and lovely babes, big hugs and love to you all xxxx :)