Previous post:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1657597-In-rare-moments-of-clarity-I-wonder
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1746987-am-I-being-assertive-or-unreasonable
Suppose this is a bit of an update for anyone who gave me advise in the last few years - Thank you. I finished my LTR a week before Christmas, not planned, just a small argument about something and I realised I couldn't be bothered to defend myself and didn't have the energy to fight for the relationship.
Made it through Christmas, our anniversary and new year. Have had the support of friends and places to stay when I have needed them. unfortunately we will need to share the house for a while as cant afford mortgage and rent on another place. Will look at things like renting out a room as soon as possible to finance me living else where though.
Its difficult to find a balance of how we should be around each other, especially when we are home together. He is still quite controlling in terms of asking / commenting on who I've been with, where I've been, I'm using my phone a lot, listening to different music etc etc
Feeling strong though (some of the time!) and actually less stressed then I was when we were together (I'm eating and sleeping with no problems!).
Still have the odd waver though - its hard to watch someone you have looked out for for so many years hurt without wanting to stop that, and going back would stop that. However, I have decided 2014 is for me.
Wish me Luck