Save our sex life!! (contaception)

[BobPatSamandIgglePiggle]

I'm frustrated - literally!

DP and I used to be an 'every other day' couple. We've been together for 5 years but were friends for ages before. Initially we used condoms but tbh, quite quickly we 'relied on' withdrawal as neither of us were against having children (no step kids involved on either side)

We decided to ttc and I got a bfp after 6 months - all great, DS is now nearly 2.

BUT - our sex life is SHITE!

DP hates condoms and tbh, I think he'd rather not have sex than have to rely on them. I can't use the pill - I have high blood pressure. I don't really want to have the coil fitted as I've read lots of horror stories.

I am almost certain that DS will be an only, although we're gutted as we'd both like lots of children. My BP nearly killed me and DS - ended up with an emcs after a routine scan at 33 weeks. He was ill for a long time and the guilt was horrendous. Meds I'm on mean that I can't ttc whilst on them but would be at ris f stroke etc without them. Falling pregnant accidentally would be disastrous.

I can't face permanent contraception yet - it'd make things too final but what do we do? I miss our sex life, DP is less bothered and values a good night's kip more at the minute but I think it's because we're out of the habit.

Help!!

[Matildathecat]

So yes, there are some who have problems or side effects and some/ many who don't. I'm maybe lucky but no problems whatsoever with pain on insertion(uncomfortable for a few minutes), no irreg bleeding, actually no bleeding, Horray and no weight gain. Maybe a slight problem with spots but I'm prone do can't really say. I also have high bp( not remotely overweight).

Have to say, though, that some here are suggesting diaphragms and rhythm methods...be very careful. For you pregnancy is absolutely contra-indicated so you have to have something very reliable.

Ps. Am interested in why you prefer a copper coil to Mirena. Bit like wanting an old Skoda when you could opt for a new Ford. Poor analogy but YKWIM. Of course if the Mirena didn't suit you could try it but Mirena would be a better first choice for most women.

Good luck

[Jaffacakesallround]

Matilda- the Mirena is very different to the copper. It's coated in progestogen for starters, and is bigger- re. insertion, and some women ( a few ) have to have it inserted under a GA- my gynae offered that not for BC but for other reasons.

Some women do have side effects from the hormone element- like all hormonal contraception. It can cause weight gain and PMT symptoms.

The diaphram is not 100% safe though - I used one in between DCs so PG was not going to be a disaster.

The copper coil is about 98% effective.

[ilovepowerhoop]

some people want a copper coil because it has no hormones as they do not tolerate them well

[TheCrumpetQueen]

Another copper coil here :)

[hiddenhome]

I have a Leas Shield which is a type of diaphragm and it's really good. You don't need fitting for it and it's easy to use.

I had to order mine from Germany as it's not sold in the UK, but it arrived very quickly.

[DumSpiroSperHoHoHo]

I also have a Mirena and love it. Had it when DD was 8 months, she's now 9yo and I'm on my second one.

Fitting is a bit like a tricky smear or cervical sweep - not pleasant but only briefly uncomfortable (I believe they apply an anaesthetic gel before insertion and you can take painkillers beforehand), and some very mild cramping for the rest of the day (not as bad as usual period pains).

I had fairly regular spotting for the first 4-6 months, roughly when I would have expected a period, but nothing for years now. I've certainly never had to worry about having a 'proper' period since I've been on it.

Can't feel it, no scares, no health issues, much improved sex life - all good!

[DumSpiroSperHoHoHo]

Should add that I hadn't considered a coil until my friend had a copper one fitted and recommend it.

Since I already suffered from bad cramps I felt the Mirena was better for me, but afaik she is still very happy with her copper coil.

[Pannacotta]

Cant offer any advice sorry but just wondering if the copper coil and Mirena are the same size?
Think they sound like ok options but not convinced about I'd relish having one fitted.

[ammature]

Natural family planning plus diaphram around ovulation and withdrawal. Be grand!