The Dating Thread 67

[MasterP0]

.......we are a busy bunch aren't we hahahaha!

New Thread Alert the other ones has reached maximum capacity!

HERE'S TO A FUN FILLED, LOVE FILLED & SEX FILLED 2014!!!!

Don't the jealousy is a red flag, but only you have the information to know whether it can be safely ignored in the context of your relationship.

I am of the view that acknowledging that you're being "irrational" does not do much to santise something. It can in fact give you carte blanche to carry on acting irrationally but with the excuse of self-awareness. If someone genuinely realised their behaviour was irrational they should want to try and change it. Accepting himself as irrational gives him permission to carry on feeling all sorts of irrational things.

I think I just find it troubling that he's so put out by you having a past when you have children, who are a very visible manifestation of that past. Is he going to let himself have irrational feelings towards them? I suppose it just raises a small red flag to me that he wants to meet your DCs, but at the same time created this big romantic fantasy of you having your own perfect DD, just the two of you.

And apologies if that is hugely out of turn, but I think the benefit of this thread is that we're not all mates. We don't get pissed and plan weddings together. We point to the rules and help each other dust ourselves down.

I think we'll see how it goes when he meets them. He honestly is lovely - I've probably painted a bad picture of him.

I don't think you have to be honest, he still sounds lovely. It's just that we have the benefit of seeing the picture you paint without any of that love and hormones bollock clouding it up .

Not sure if i am still allowed to join this thread - apologies for just wading in! - but need some sane words after having dipped my toes in the murky POF pond again!

Bit of background: been virtually single for the past 6 years after a long EA marriage. Have regained my composure, self confidence etc finally! Had a few fluke flings over the 6 years but nothing noteworthy apart from 1 which I am still smarting abit from to be honest.

Anywho, took a deep breath and re-registered for POF. Having sifted through the usual pervs and fuckwits, explained to one eager beaver whose "dream it was to be beaten with his fathers belt by a woman of my beauty and stature (am 6' )" I thought I had found a good'n!! Yay me!!

After chatting for a while we progressed on to phonecalls and yes, the by then eagerly awaited first date!! As he walked in to the bar where we agreed to meet My immediate thought was that he really was bot my type physically "in the flesh" but hey ho, he had a lot of other things going for him. My optimism knew no bounds. Until....

.....I noticed his left hand with half a finger missing. I really tried to ignore it, really it was nothibg, right? Sadly I then entered into that zone where you become fixated by something. Could not take my eyes off his little nubbin, no matter how hard I tried. The fact that his face to face conversation was less than lukewarm did not help.

Worse was to come. Having stumbled through 2 drinks I told him I really had to get home to make sure the babysitter got home on time. He then.....grabbed my face with his little nubbin grazing my nose and tried to stick his tongue down my throat. Dear reader, I ran as fast as my too high heels let me.

Does this nake me the twunt in all this? Feel disappointed in myself that I behaved so appalingly but on the other hand feel affronted he tried to kiss me a) in public on a first date abd b) because I reallly don't think I encouraged him!!

Maybe I just have to accept that internet datig is not for me but Sweet Mother of Baby Jeebus, I would really like to meet someone and am running out of ideas!!!

So sorry for my little rant but had to tell someone as I am still shuddering after last night!

FFS... Stoopid phone. I explained to the eager wanna be beaten perv that that was not my forte!! Mr Nubbin and Mr Spank Me are not one and the same!!

I agree Stranger!

Dont Don't now start feeling guilty about what you've written here about him. I think we are all unbiased in our comments. He STILL sounds lovely!

Captain I'm rolling in my bed laughing, HYSTERICAL!

Once I've stopped laughing I will try to respond!

Eeewwwww at missing finger.......

Captain that made me LOL! Oh deary me....WITH TEARS IN MY EYES can I ask what even possessed you to continue talking to this guy after "......dream is to be beaten by my fathers belt......"??? Ok, maybe that's your type of thing, but for me the screams RED FLAG, as in were you on the same page as to your expectations etc.??? I might be totally off base here! Ok, not the same guy!

So you LITERALLY just got up and RAN AWAY??? (You can't make this shit up) I'm still lol!

To answer your question, a/b. I don't like my personal space invaded on first date, especially when I've not encouraged you!

OD is a work in progress, refer to the rules. You are probably going to kiss a lot more frogs before finding your man. I think you should give it another go........

Captain....how awful. I had similar on date 2. He had a wonky eye. It was all i could focus on.

Advice ladies....Mr 6 kids asked me out for dinner on Thursday. I agreed to go. However, now me and number 4 are getting it on and taking things further, i dont want to go on the meal. However, i feel guilty as he is nice and we have been chatting for ages. I dont fancy him and know it wont go further. What would you do?

Captain that story is hilarious!

Flora, I wouldn't go. There's no point if it won't go anywhere.

Geeky says he feels sad and lonely. I don't know how to make this better.

Master, Oneday and Made - I totally understand what you're saying, and kind of get why why you're multi-dating, now you've explained the reasons why. However, in my case, if he is, then it's just crass and stupid of him to send the SAME texts to both of us.

Also, we've both invested a lot of time into emailing each other pretty much every day for a month, and have shared a lot of info and emotional stuff (or what I thought was emotional stuff - nothing too full on, just the beginnings - or so I thought - of getting to know someone I thought was genuine/who gave the impression he couldn't wait to see me and be with me).

What I'm confused about is, if you're multi-dating, how do you keep track of what you've said to one person and another, where do you get the energy to get all dressed up and 'in the zone' for dates with lots of people?

I guess, as Oneday said, I'll just have to see what happens between now and Wednesday when we're supposed to meet again. If we do meet, I'll ask if he's seeing anyone else. No point asking him over text or email - I'd prefer to see his reaction in the flesh. (But has anyone asked a date outright if they're seeing anyone else, and gotten an honest/straight response??) I can't imagine saying to someone 'So, are you seeing anyone else" and them replying "Yes, I'm actually having two more dates next week, and I slept with another a few days after I saw you" :-)

Captain Welcome!!! No you were not being a twunt. I would also have ran.

I went on a date once with a guy who I'd had to cancel on twice for genuine reasons, so the pre-date chatting had been horribly extended. Date was cringe worthy, and there really was no spark at all. He drove me home, and went in for the goodnight kiss....I literally physically recoiled, grabbed for the door and actually RAN into the house without looking back.

He still texted the next day!

I hope yours doesn't

Flora - no, don't see Mr 6 Kids - it's would be a waste of your time and his

Captain - that's hilarious!!

Oh I agree Tiger completely stupid to be sending same messages to different people!

Re keeping track - I don't know - how do you keep track of conversations you have with non-dating people in your life? You just do. Everyone is individual.

don't - why is he lonely? He's in a new relationship with a fantastic woman. Let him fix himself - it's not up to you to do that for him

Tiger I've asked the question, sometimes they've lied! If asked I will answer truthfully (with in reason) regardless! That is why one must refrain from investing emotionally and probably physically until you both agree you're EXCLUSIVE! (Have you read the rules on here??) I honestly can say I sympathise (is that the correct word) with how you feel about the whole situation, but it's the NATURE OF THE BEAST, and if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen! SIGH

Flora have you ever met Mr 6 kids? I think we should all continue to date until both parties AGREE EXCLUSIVITY! You and number 4 have yet to have that talk, unless I've missed it?

I'm LOL at your stories! I'm glad I'm not the only person who's had the misfortune of meeting DICKHEADS, mine was missing a foot and arrived with a chaperone!

Thanks for the warm welcome and thank you also for laughing at the Nubbin Drama. Made me laugh at it too and I have stopped shuddering. A bit!

Master Yep, mumbled a 'WTF?!?!' and ran. Not proud of it but kinda pleased I did. Did make note to self to wear flats to any future first dates......

Flora Oh God, knowing my luck I will get Mr Wonky Eye next time and we can compare notes!

OneDay No texts as yet.....and I live in hope that this will remain the case haha!

Really feel glad I took the plunge to post on this thread - feeling a bit less of a twunt now

Dont so this thing with your ex has really affected him! I think you'll have a better idea/understanding where he's at emotionally etc., after your next date. You clearly need to sit down and thrash this out. Dont I probably shouldn't say this, but he needs to MAN UP AND DEAL WITH IT, it's not that big of a deal. God forbid you have REAL problems! This is screaming RED FLAG, sorry!

Ha ha master thats hilarious!! After my NO chemistry fail with carpeter guy yesterday have allowed myself 1 day (today) to eat chocolate whilst feeling "disapointed" before slapping myself with a pretend wet fish and moving on. The recent few posts about guys with missing appendeges or wonky eyes has speeded this process along nicely - thanks guys!

Master, that's just it, I invest way too much emotionally early on. It's just the way I am, I start thinking 'is he the One??' way too soon.
Will have to try to get a thicker skin in general, and with this one, let's see what happens...

I texted him just now to ask if he got my last text, and he replied pretty much immediately to say he hadn't. Could be plausible, as he hasn't received parts of my texts in the past, so perhaps the two texts he sent that were the same could be down to malfunction of my/his phone...

I realise from what I've written above that I sound like a stupid teenager!

Master - LOL at 'missing a foot and arrived with a chaperone!'

Tiger I'm a hopeless, HOPELESS romantic, wear my heart on my sleeve kinda gurl, but boy oh boy has OD given me lessons on not investing too much too soon! It's been a painful and sometimes heartbreaking journey, where I've thought "fuck it, I'd rather stay single"! My girlfriends can't understand why I continually subject myself to this???? But I'm determined to find someone!

Master...i havent met Mr 6 kids yet. Number 4 and i did say we wouldnt date anyone else. Mr 6 kids pestered me (in a nice way) tto go out with him. I put him off asi explained our situations at home wouldnt work. He spends every other weekend down south seeing 3 of his kids....the other weekends spent with his kids here.

Yeah, Mr Mixed Signals was an offlline meeting, apparently doesn't make a difference to how they act though! Feel better after swimming, was a cute guy in the lane next to me with nice shoulders, can't comment on pale legs or shrunken willies though as didn't see!!

Keep getting matches on Tinder then it comes up that they're really far away, were they just passing through my town when they popped up on my list? :(

Tiger....im also trying not to be too keen too soon. I think when u meet someone u really click with its hard to hold back those feelings. I catastriphise things and always am thinking the worst. I shout really just hope for the best.