So who wants to lay bets on whether or not I survive leaving?

[stripeylion3]

So PA Narc just threw a fit after I stayed with DC at DGPs last night. He knew this was happening but today changed the story of how it actually played out.

He's out of smokes and completely hostile.

The other times I've seen him like this I've been physically attacked.

I have left the house but have to go back as DCs there. He would not touch them. He picked up a rock and ran at the car aiming as I left.

I am quite terrified of going back. But I will. Am hoping it dies down so I can stick to my original plan of leaving in a couple of weeks.

Am going away for two weeks with DCs and DGPs end of jan and don't want their house unattended with him psychotic cos he will have nothing once I leave, no family, friends, money but does have a diag of depression.

I'm so glad you're out. Please don't let anyone or anything persuade you to go back. He sounds totally deranged

Well done. I'm not clear on the risk with your parents' house - do you mean he will attack it once they and you have left it? Can you throw him off the scent and make him think you aren't with them? I see why you don't want them involved. In terms of longer term planning, can you move to another town? I know you probably can't leave the country but oz is a big place, put some distance between you?

That's great!!!
So pleased for you. knocking back tears

Wishing you all the best and keep safe and determined. Whatever happens, don't go back.

Make sure he can't accuse you of child abduction, though.
Get legal advice asap.

Good luck.

Very best of luck.

I felt like this about my ex. Utterly terrified of what he might be capable of when thwarted. It's what happens when you are caught up in an abusive situation. You cannot see a way out and you block suggestions that might help because of your fear.

Four years on I have just dropped my ds off at his Dads house while they go to the football, when I mentioned heavy traffic when I drive back he suggested I hang around here in his home with our dd so that I don't have to make the journey twice so here I am. My point is that I would never in a million years have thought this possible four years ago, so horrendous was our break up.

I am not saying this will be the way it goes with you but you HAVE to take that first step and leave. You have to. It won't be easy but it may not be has hard as you think either.

OP, even the years of restraining orders, threats, and stalking from my ex (all 14 years of it!) was worth leaving. Sad as it sounds, it was better than living with him.

Very best of luck stripey. Goodspeed.

Keep the police on speed dial and report anything and everything.

all the best for 2014. To a happy new year, new life and freedom

Well done stripeylion. Im so happy for u & dc.
The rest will work itself out gradually. X

Glad you out, now be careful if he's that psychotic x

Thanks again. I have the DCs with me at my parents. I am trying to limit the disruption and trying not to scare them.

Amazingly they seem fine. DD (10) is a bit teary about not wanting to 'choose'. I have reassured them and asked that they be strong and brave but cry if they need to and just talk to me.

That I will answer all their questions and if I don't know the answer will endeavour to find out.

I have had to not make Dad the bad guy but let them know that his behaviour is not ok. That he / we love them and they will get to see him but it may take a couple of weeks till he calms down a bit and the correct avenues are gone through with the court process.

They seem happy with this. Before we even got 5 mins down the road DS 3yo is saying ' my friend can visit me in our new house at Nan's'! And I had only said to the older ones that our lease was almost up soon and would have to move anyway.

Lweji :)

I know the real hard part is just about to start but god I feel so good right now. Hope it lasts.

Now for the paranoia / looking over the shoulder shit.

Thanks again, now I have some more boards to hang out on ! (LP & Sep and Div)!

Yes a New Year, I am gonna grab it with both hands.

He is the one with no self awareness or insight, I am good and honest and only ever wanted a happy family. I ain't stupid either (a bit slow maybe) but tonight I feel hopeful.

Will be back tomorrow, panicking probably!

Many thanks.

Glad that you and your DCs are okay. It'll probably be a rollercoaster for you for a bit, but hopefully things will settle quickly and you can relax a little. Best of luck.

To everyone who posted for me Thanks again, (thanks)

Good luck OP xx

Good luck x

Good luck!

Maybe you could ask the police to keep an eye on the house when you are all away.. Tell them your concerns. That way, you're making them aware of the situation.

stripey come and hang out on EA too if you need some back up. leaving is a process and it can be a good place to talk over the FWittery that he will inevitably try on. plus there are many on there who know a lot about the legal.process.
Also if you haven't already, get in touch with WA,.they can offer you and dc support through this.

Thanks for the invites to EA , I will see you there sooner rather than later is my guess !

You leaving reminded me of the first night DS and I slept away from home at my sister's.
To the talk about how his behaviour was not ok.
They know it's not.

Keeping fingers firmly crossed for you and your little ones.