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Original poster

awkward!!!

30 replies

tiamariaxxx · 27/12/2013 00:08

Just been browsing fb and my ex best friend is dating the guy i lost my virginity to when i was 16 eeek. Dont often see her but my birthday coming up and she normally comes out with us for a few drinks this may get awkward... Im sure she wont have an idea i didnt know her 12 years ago when it happened.

Not sure if i should keep quiet or tell her. Theres no hard feeling with the bloke at all its all in the past just wondering what should do

OP posts:
Original poster
tiamariaxxx · 27/12/2013 00:12

May also throw a spanner in the works my OH also knows him used to live on his street as a child, he knows i lost my virginity to him and hes no fussed just think i should tell my friend. Although were not close anymore due to her stirring in my marriage i was still going to invite her out but may not now

OP posts:
ThePinkOcelot · 27/12/2013 00:15

Why would you even think about mentioning this?! Totally irrelevant really. Bears no relation to the present imo.

offloadingthisshit · 27/12/2013 00:15

Its two separate issues.

  1. Are you going to continue to be friends afte rthe marriage issues? If you are then:
  1. You should tell her as otherwise it seems to be more than it is and it will invariably come out and she'll wonder why you've not said. Plus, she may already know if the man in question has told her.
AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2013 00:15

This is all very teenage, isn't it ?

Original poster
tiamariaxxx · 27/12/2013 00:15

i know that but what if he tells her? Id look a bitch for keeping it to myself

OP posts:
Original poster
tiamariaxxx · 27/12/2013 00:17

Yes i agree reading back it does sound very silly and immature,

OP posts:
fuzzywuzzy · 27/12/2013 00:17

If you're not close to either there's no feelings there between you and the guy & you're happy in your life and current relationship.

Why does if matter, why would it be awkward?

I'd leave them both alone & I'd also stop checking her fb.

Bearwantsmore · 27/12/2013 00:19

I agree, I really don't see why you would need to mention it.

Original poster
tiamariaxxx · 27/12/2013 00:19

Im just a worrier and i dont check her fb shes on my news feeds. Just i know what shes like she falls out really easy and shell be really put out if she knew. I wont say out else anyway its ok

OP posts:
JuneauWhoIAm · 27/12/2013 00:21

Who cares? If she says anything I'd just say, god it's so long ago does anyone care?

Do you care OP. Is it a big deal fir you?

Original poster
tiamariaxxx · 27/12/2013 00:22

JuneauWhoIAm - Yer i prob will say that thanks

No i dont care really just worry about her having an hissy fit about it

OP posts:
AndTheBandPlayedOn · 27/12/2013 00:22

"And you sex life is anyone's business because...."

namechange74 · 27/12/2013 00:22

My best friend went out with my DH for YEARS in their early 20's - means nothing to any of us Smile HTH.

Original poster
tiamariaxxx · 27/12/2013 00:23

Thanks, its ok i will stop getting in a flap about silly things making myself sound an idiot :)

OP posts:
Original poster
tiamariaxxx · 27/12/2013 00:24

namechange74 - yer i know people in same boat and nobody cares, i just think if she thinks shes been kept in the dark then she will kick up a fuss

OP posts:
namechange74 · 27/12/2013 00:26

i understand - just tell her then, get it out in the open - good luck!

Original poster
tiamariaxxx · 27/12/2013 00:29

:) I was just a little surprised small world isnt it. I do worry too much

OP posts:
AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2013 00:30

I don't understand why you socialise with her

she wil "kick off" if she finds out something that is fuck-all to do with her, and has "stirred" in your marriage ? So jettison her then. Simple.

you do seem to surround yourself with a lot of drama, going off your other threads, perhaps you enjoy getting yourself all worked up about nothing ?

Original poster
tiamariaxxx · 27/12/2013 00:32

Im just surrounded by idiots i know. I dont socialise with her that much anymore anyway only the odd txt and fb but last couple years shes come out for my bday as have mutual friends.

I deffinately dont like drama i dont know think i need to let things go over my head a bit

OP posts:
AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2013 00:37

That was mean of me, I am sorry.

I would dump this "friend"

With friends like this, who needs enemies ....?

Who you have shagged before is nothing to do with her, your boyfriend or anyone at all other than you

In my group of friends going waaaaay back, I reckon we have all pretty much at the very least snogged each other (all went to school together). It's never referred to, and it's never a problem.

Original poster
tiamariaxxx · 27/12/2013 00:40

Its ok, im not bothered. Im not good at making new friends tbh.

Think most groups of friends this has happened i know its not a big deal really was just a bit surprised.

OP posts:
AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 27/12/2013 00:42

Just because you are not good at making new friends doesn't mean you should hang onto the old shitty ones

SillyMillyOnAHilly · 27/12/2013 00:58

Blimey, your threads are quite action packed Grin. I recommend cutting down on Facebook and avoiding any idiot friends.

I don't get why she would come out with you on your birthday if you are not really friends Confused.

Joysmum · 27/12/2013 07:55

I don't see why you wouldn't mention it in passing. Something like 'Omg that's a blast from the past xxx was my first proper boyfriend!'

The trouble with not mentioning things is that situations can change and then the fact that you haven't mentioned them can be deemed as lying by omission and grow into something complicated.

OatcakeCravings · 27/12/2013 08:11

All you need to say is that he was your boyfriend when you were kids. FGS don't mention the virginity thing, it's totally irrelevant.