so this year exh bought ds quite a bit more than dd for christmas, then said to dd he'd spent more on ds 
Just as to what to do really - if I say something exh will likely be cross with dd & get nasty with me and that would upset her. I suggested to her she could say something (she won't)
Also explained to ds the situation as I don't want it to cause a rift between them. But said so without seeming to be 'saying anything' about exh, just that it's neither of their faults and don't want it to come between them.
am quite pissed of with exh tbh
hate this whole walking on eggshells thing and trying to compensate for his twatiness