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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just got home...

9 replies

Wishuponastar011 · 23/12/2013 01:03

I went to my very new partners this evening, we were getting on everything was going fine until we tired to have sex.
All the foreplay ect was fine, I was very nervous so he led it a lot! But it was fine we were both very turned on ect, until it came to penetration, he put a condom on and then as he went to put it into me he lost his erection! I tried to get it back up but nothing was working :(.
When I got home he text saying it was the condom, but I think it might be me, this might be a little TMI but I'm quite tight and you have to hold the penis at the right angle and really push it in to me, and because he couldn't he lost his erection.
Has anyone else had this problem? What can I do to make next time better?!
We're both in our 20s btw, and both had previous partners!

OP posts:
offloadingthisshit · 23/12/2013 01:08

Um, if you're quite tight then maybe it will improve when you relax more? Or maybe loads of lube?

Have you had an internal exam/smear? How did that go?

Wishuponastar011 · 23/12/2013 01:12

I was pretty nervous so it could also be that!
And when I had an internal exam a few years ago it was so painful, sex normally hurts me until my body had adjusted if you know what I mean.

OP posts:
geologygirl · 23/12/2013 01:31

Why are you so quick to blame yourself?! Maybe he had an issue tonight and thats why he lost his erection. Forget what happened and I'm sure it will be better next time.

BillyBanter · 23/12/2013 01:34

If tightness and pain is a recurring problem for you it might be worth speaking to your GP. It maybe vaginismus.

BillyBanter · 23/12/2013 01:35

Were you well-lubricated?

EirikurNoromaour · 23/12/2013 06:20

Lots of men get willy wilt when they use condoms unfortunately. It's probably not you.

BohemianGirl · 23/12/2013 07:24

How new is a new partner? I've never understood how some women can go to bed with a bloke quite quickly, I have have to have absolute trust in my partner.

MotherofBear · 23/12/2013 13:52

My ex used to lose his erection within a minute of putting a condom on. Don't blame yourself and don't worry too much - it was the first time and there are always lots of things going on in peoples heads he first time! He may have thought it was him - does he know about the need to be in the right position etc? If he wasn't able to get in right away, he may have thought he was doing something wrong and that could be why he lost his erection.

Keep trying, and try not to put any pressure on each other, just enjoy and go with the flow. Maybe talk about things before you try again.
Good luck Smile

neiljames77 · 23/12/2013 14:40

There is a solution, (well it worked for me and an ex anyway) but I fear it may be TMI and I don't want banning.

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