Please help me get through this Xmas

[Blossomflowers]

I am starting a new thread "I am not sure I can take this anymore" Sorry I do not know how to link, but feel that title is now longer relevant.

Basically after 20 years I finally had enough and threw my useless, heavy drinking, sponging, EA asshole of a partner out. We have a 13 yr old DS tog, he has been a terrible father and extremely unkind to him, if I am honest it took sitting in my DS counseling session and seeing the shock on her face and outrage that I finally had the courage to end it all. I have obviously normalised everything for so long. DS and his dad have not seen each other since he left but have been texting each other. He has called a couple of times but it seems only when DS can not speak, like 8.00 this morning when he knew DS would be rushing around getting ready for school. I do struggle to see why DS wants anything to do with his dad but not said this.

Anyway I need help to get through this Xmas and stay strong, I am having good days and some bad days. I am lonely, angry sometimes relieved. What to do with P clothes? as still here and he has not arranged to pick up. Thinking of having a big bonfire but that probably just spiteful so not done it. Please help me see some positives. All I see his happy families getting ready for Xmas and then there is me struggling not to cry walking around Tesco's.

Is there something that you could do to help with those 'long evenings' ahead? Some sort of class or something that you could also work on during the week? Craft? Local library run book club? Choir?

We are very rural also so little going on. Will try and sort something out. Now DS is old enough to be on his own. I am studying French and joined Gym this year but need to find something that will involve interacting with other people. Most people I know are a couple

Ah Blossom, sorry you are having a crap day. The business of going out to lunch, well you know if won't last, I mean this is the first time he's arranged to see him isn't it?
I think him turning into wonder dad for a few hours is enough to stir the anger, but that won't last either.

One day I promise you will be happy in your lovely house (that you paid for on your own)

Well DS seemed to have a nice time but what kid wouldn't, new Vans, Billabong coat, helicopter, KFC. Money but love right! It just makes me seethe, his attitude to money really is pathetic. Then back to our messy house. DS being very bulshey and rude and I am finding hard to keep my temper. I can see this is how it is going to be, I put up with the hum drum boring stuff and if DS does not like something will strop off to his dad

Now back to work and it did feel good to try and earn some money, fingers crossed.

Had a friend around last night and we sat up to 3.30 am chatting. I think this is the only thing I miss about being with XP was having someone to chat to at night. Weekends can be very lonely. Any tips on how to get through these dark winters nights gratefully received. Think I am going to have to change the title again as not relevant.

Give yourself treats Blossom, cuddle up with a blanket, wine and chocs and watch whatever you like on tv.
If you can why don't you go out for a nice meal with a friend?
Spring is just around the corner, so I keep telling myself! Wish I was a hedgehog