Lazy husband - i feel neglected

[delete]

I am a regular poster by the way

My husband is so lazy in bed - he hardly ever wants to have sex and its upsetting me.

Its plain he would rather watch tv, play ps2, go straight to sleep.

He does have a hard day at work, i know this, but he has never been like this until very recently.

Thanks for listening.

I'll pack my case...

Yeah, I'd recommend counselling. You're not happy, something needs to change.

(I think your DH gets sympathy because having babies, and the subsequent lack of sleep, can be really hard on women's libidos. So maybe a lot of women on here understand how your DH feels ...)

Maybe it's simply more important to me than him.

That's possible. But I bet there are things that are more important to him, than to you, that you reach compromises about.

Well, I'm happy in that department, but my aunt is currently about to leave her . . . fifth marriage, so I can sort of empathise.

my dh is also too lazy, so we are going a deux on hols, with my mum looking after dd. sea, sun and sand always restores him. cd you get away? it may be that domesticity gets him down...certainly gets me down

Yes, damn right there are.

That was to NQC.

We are going away for 2 nights just the 2 of us next month (hoorah).

Lots of tips for weekend away would be appreciated.

(P.S. If any of you do happen to guess who I am could you let me know, because I couldn't bear it if you knew but I didn't know you knew. Thanks)

When I went on the mini-pill I completely lost my libido. KNEW there was something wrong w/that for it to be gone entirely.

Oh, we have already booked it, anniemac, and yes, its going to be hot (the weather, at least).

Hmm, anniemac, I'm not sure that's entirely true. I mean, if you actively don't want to have sex, then yeah, making an effort won't make any difference. But you can be a bit "meh" about the whole thing, not that bothered, but if you make a bit of an effort, you can be into it.

And anyway, there are plenty of ways a DH can, ahem, please his wife without having to actually perform, per se.

(and of course if the problem is emotional or chemical, then surely he should be seeing someone about it, or trying to sort it out in some way, rather than ignoring it?)

There's a good game called nookai you can buy online. You work around each other instead of a board You could take it away with you.

I bought if for dh....ended up giving it to my cousin unopened for one of her wedding pressies

NQC, that's it. He is a bit "whatever" until, I make the first moves, then he's all up for it. He just cannot be bothered to start things going, like he has much better things to do, like look at sports equipment, etc.

You don't think he's possibly having an affair do you? He is really going to the sports centre?

if it's hot (weather) you will be walking around semi naked most of the time which cannot fail to have an effect. siestas are the trick...IMO

only you and he can know that. How long is he out? Could you offer to go and watch him and see his reaction, especially if you say it last minute. Are there any other signs? Whispered phone calls, tidier in appearance..

I did mention it to him the other day I could go with him (he was going for a practice, he said) and he told me I'd be bored, so I took it that he didnt want me to go.

I cant really think of any other signs, but I've not really been looking.

delete, if you're planning intimate nights on your holiday. don't make a big deal about planning it, cos if he's shying away from you, he may be intimidated by it.

Does he move away if you cuddle upto him? Maybe he's stressed at work / family and doesn't know how to open up to you.

Well, he doesnt really move away, but he doesn't really respond, or sometimes he will say "I'm hot, dont be all over me" when I'm only trying to be a bit closer.

IYSWIM