After a final argument about a sodding packet of biscuits, I told H I wanted him to leave on Sunday. I've had enough of his selfishness, moods and the way he treats me. This has been a slow burner for me, its been simmering since I got pregnant with DD (3).
He wants me to give it one more try. Says I must accept responsibility too. He thinks I have done this because of my interpretation of events and my version of the last three years is not based on facts and its about how I feel. He says we have had a stressful few years and his behaviour is not the reason our relationship is failing.
I accept we have had pressure, which any young family in a recession have, but this is not why I want out.
I know I don't have to justify yourself, but I feel like I do, to myself more than anything. So please tell me, would you LTB or give him another chance (he has already had a fair few)...
I will stick to the facts and undeniable events rather then feelings, but here is a mere snapshot
- When I was pregnant, he would roll his eyes whenever I mentioned a symptom or spoke about it, saying I was moaning and he wasn't going to give me attention
- On the night I went into labour, I was contracting on the floor and he had his head under pillow on the bed trying to sleep and told me to be quiet cos neighbours would hear.
- My friends who gave birth around the same time all got given gifts by their partners, he told me he wasn't going to buy me anything because nobody would buy him anything and its not fair because he can't give birth
- Never helped with nights and wouldn't even give me a lie in on my 30th birthday
- If DD was clingy with me, he would say I was doing it deliberately
- He rejected me sexually for 18 months because he preferred porn
- After we did have sex, I tried to talk about if things were different down there after childbirth as I was concerned and he refused to discuss it because it was gross.
- after another time he said the sex had been hard work and complained about something I had done during foreplay. I've not done it since.
- Didn't want to help when we moved house so booked in extra work. The day before the move, DD and I both got a stomach bug and he refused to help pack
- Would get home from work at 2am and wake me by putting TV on, typing with laptop on his knee and playing music in bed next to me and wouldn't stop so I'd have to go to spare room
- The night before we went on holiday, started an almighty row because I hadn't finished packing when he got in from work (I'd been working too)
- Would give me silent treatment whenever I went out (very rare)
- Very moody and often sits on the settee in silence after a bad day at work
- If I ever tried to talk about things would eye roll, call me a nag or just sit in silence. Or tell me I was being unfair by bringing something up, he said he was sorry and that is the end if it
- Ruins every night/day out we have with an illness or constant complaining
- Has lost all his friends and won't entertain the idea of any social life
- Sits and watches telly and calls some of the women fat pigs and other foul names, which I really hate
- When we went away with his family, DD didnt sleep for two nights, screamed a lot of the time. I wanted to go home a day early as we were exhausted but he refused to upset his mother
- When I told him I felt so low I had been given anti depressants by the doctor and was wondering whether to start taking them, he didn't ever mention it again
- Always trying to stop me eat/drink nice things. He can't cope with too much fun or indulgence. So on Sunday when he wouldn't let me open a packet of biscuits I snapped.
There's more, so much more.
Does it sound like the kind of thing you should be able to work through?