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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How can this happen? Does it mean he's cheated?

23 replies

Hollyandberries · 09/12/2013 21:33

Been seeing my bf a few months, all good so far. He went on work Christmas night out at weekend. Came round my house the next day and told me he'd got very drunk. Then told me he had a bruise on his penis!

He showed me and it looked exactly like a small burst blood vessel. He claims he doesn't know why it's there, I automatically thought the worst and he assures me that's definately not the case, that it just appeared. I hate feeling this doubt, I was so happy

I googled it and have read that sometimes this can occur spontaneously, has anyone else had experience of this?

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EirikurNoromaour · 09/12/2013 21:35

It sounds like it could be anything. I wouldn't automatically assume cheating. I wouldn't give it much thought myself.

AngelsLieToKeepControl · 09/12/2013 21:37

The 3 penis injuries I have seen are a split foreskin (that bled a LOT), a cigarette burn from smoking on the toilet and dropping the cigarette, and a zipper incident that sounds pretty similar to your boyfriends injury.

Why did you think he was cheating? Any other reasons?

Hollyandberries · 09/12/2013 21:37

I think it's just the timing of it tbh, after a drunken night out

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MillyChristmas · 09/12/2013 21:37

I think if he had been cheating then he would not have shown you the bruise on his willy so casually. He would have avoided sex with you for a while until it was gone.

Hollyandberries · 09/12/2013 21:38

No I have no other reasons to suspect cheating it just seemed odd to me

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Hollyandberries · 09/12/2013 21:39

True I suppose he could have avoided coming round that day or said he was feeling rough so didn't want sex I suppose

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RubyGoat · 09/12/2013 21:40

After a drunken night out, lots of liquid consumed, he could have trapped his skin in his zip on one of many toilet trips, & not remember.

Dirtybadger · 09/12/2013 21:41

The fact that he showed you bodes well IMO. It would be easy to hide I should imagine, should he have wanted it to. And, unless he was a very confident liar I imagine he would have wanted to avoid you seeing. He'd be paranoid about you putting two and two together (I mean if he had cheated, he'd probably be Googling too to check you wouldn't definitely catch him out). Hope that makes sense.

Hollyandberries · 09/12/2013 21:42

lego I suggested that to him but he said no he didn't trap it. Mind you if he'd cheated I guess he could have jumped on that as a get out

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JoinYourPlayfellows · 09/12/2013 21:44

Why were you so sure he had cheated?

It doesn't sound very likely given what you know.

Gruntfuttock · 09/12/2013 21:50

If he bruised his penis cheating he's doing it wrong.

Hope this helps.

Hollyandberries · 09/12/2013 21:54

I'm not sure he's cheated. I've previously been in a bad relationship where I was very insecure about all sorts of things. With this man, I wasn't concerned about him going out really as I felt reasonably happy he was trustworthy. Then when I saw that I did wonder

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Hollyandberries · 09/12/2013 22:21

gruntfuttock Grin I was thinking more along the lines of oral sex causing it

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redundantandbitter · 09/12/2013 22:31

I initially thought 'drunken zip incident'

Greensleeves · 09/12/2013 22:35

LOL, do you think he has cheated on you with a staplegun?!?

he probably got it caught in his zipper while blundering about pissed or something

I wouldn't be worrying

Hollyandberries · 09/12/2013 22:43

Grin I did ask him if he'd got it caught in zipper but he said no. Quite likely he wouldn't remember though or was embarrassed to admit it. He's funny like that

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KissesBreakingWave · 09/12/2013 23:46

I have injured my knob in all manner of ways.

Numerous zipper accidents, over-enthusiastic bicycle braking, making complete horlicks of getting over a spiked railing (came within milimetres of an massive groin impalement, brr), having bristles fly off a rotary wire brush, setting my trousers on fire with carb cleaner, scalded it with tea and blistered it with chili oil due to going to the loo after chopping the things having forgotten to thoroughly scrub my fingers.

Looking back, it's amazing the fucking thing's still attached.

Only did so while having sex once, I have to say, and that was a marathon session while both of us were teenagers. There were.... abrasions. And a bit of it snapped altogether. Not the kind of thing that happens as a result of a tuppeny upright behind the bins outside a nightclub.

MistAllChuckingFrighty · 10/12/2013 00:25

KBW, you are very errr accident-prone, aintcha ? Grin

OP, I am generally a man-hating harpy who sees cheating blokes every 5 minutes but even I am not convinced this one is a wrong'un. I think you should relax.

KissesBreakingWave · 10/12/2013 00:37

I've packed every hour full of minutes. The groinal damage is merely a fraction of a tithe of a catalogue of 'how the FUCK did he walk away from that?' stories, liberally seasoned with a few 'no shit, there I was' tales.

Some days, I need a shot of adrenaline just to get my heart started. Or a good wank.

Walkacrossthesand · 10/12/2013 00:56

KBW, your local emergency department staff must nudge each other and surreptitiously point when you hobble walk in again after another jolly jape....

Hollyandberries · 10/12/2013 06:32

Sorry if tmi the "bruise"/ burst blood vessel was half way down the shaft of penis

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Abitannoyedatthis · 10/12/2013 06:39

The blood vessel thing dies happen spontaneously. Woke up with BF one morning and there was blood everywhere. It didn't occur doing sex. At the time my flatmate was an A &E nurse and she had seen it a few times.

Hollyandberries · 10/12/2013 09:22

Ooo that sounds grim. This was just a flat mark on the penis but you could clearly see it had come from a blood vessel

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