I have had it with his smoking

[haditwiththefags]

DH smokes, has done for years, he is in his early 40s. We have been together nearly 7 years during that time he has quit tiwce and both times he has taken up again (each time it started with cigars and he got furious with me if I told him not to smoke cigars as it would get him addicted again).

I hate and despise smoking so much now, it is starting to really effect our relationship. I hate the health effects - he ahs a horrid smoker's cough and I think he owes it to his children to give up for this reason alone. I hate the financial effects - we can't afford it, I find it a totally selfish act to spend family money we don't have on fags. I hate the effect on his moods - he is foul when he is having a bad nicotine withdrawal and is foul every morning when he wakes up which I think is down to nicotine withdrawal.

This morning he didn't have a fag and he was awful - we had a furious craming match in front of child, he was a prick, I responded in kind and TBH my whole day is destroyed (again). I just feel right now like I hate him thorugh and through. This morning to me was the final nail in the coffin of smoking.

Basically I don't think I can live with it anymore - as it is I nag him incessantly to give up which I know is the worse thing I can do, but it just seems that if I leave him to his own devices he will NEVER stop. I always thought he wanted to stop, I know he does in many ways that?s why he did give up twice before but I just feel now like we have reached a total impasse especially with the moods in the morning.

I have told him he is on his final wanring with smoking but I don't know what that means. I don't want to split up but I want to issue some kind of utlimatum that he has a month to do somehting about it or else? or else what? I don't know - even temporailily splitting up is a logistical nightmare so can't really do this - what can I do to dhow how serious I am about this, I have torally had it and this is now a deal breaker for me. I have lived with a drug addict before and it was awful, as far as I am concerned the fag smoking is now having a negtive impact on my life and the children's lives and need him to see that this is genuinely not acceptable to me and not something I can live with. I just want him to stop - if the tables were turned I know that he would demand that I gave up, being the type of person he is, that is the worst thing about it...

Any advice? I know I am probably taking worst possible approach to getting him to give up but this morning was particularly horrendous and I am just so frustrated, need help and advice!!! Thanks

He has just told me that he will not checked for lung disease (clearly too scared) so there goes that plan... he was interested in the Zyban though.

I had better not mention anything again

He does smoke outside

If he's interested in Zyban then he can only get it on prescription so will need to visit the gp who will listen to his chest.

In the end though it is only him who can do it (but it is far easier if you don't smoke..having two smokers is much more difficult)

He has to go thru the GP OR the NHS smoking cessation doctor to get Zyban, as you need a prescription and monitoring.

And he should go back to the GP and nag him about having his lungs tested.

Even a smoker deserves treatment if he is having coughing fits, not just fobbed off w/'stop smoking'. That's bloody obvious, but those fits could indicate any number of things.

Our former waste of space GP refused to help DH at all - just fobbed him off on the NHS smoking cessation clinics - hey, there's a way to cut smoking related deaths!

We changed surgeries, and at the recommendation of the doctor at the smoking clinic and after DH's diabetes screening, he got the Zyban immediately.

Being a typical man he NEVER goes to doctor at all. However he went in by himself with DD (for her) and the GP turned the whole session around to him, prescribed him patches tried to tell him to cut down drinking and took his blood pressure - kind of almost annoying that his blood pressure was low - now he is convinced that he is super healthy and can do what he wants

Thanks all of you this has been really good and helpful for me

I have an allen carr video somewhere if he would like to watch it. About an hour long. You would need to take the kids out and let him watch it by himself...it needs to go in.

There are similarities between trying to give up smoking and losing wieght, nagging is pretty demoralising there as well! Also the mixed pleasure of a cigarette/bag of crisps. The association of fags with a drink/coffee with a chocolate biscuit etc.

Coupled with the addiction.

That would be cool Charliecat but we don't have a video!! I might see if he wants a DVD

Zippi he tends to smoke and drink coffee rather than eat for first half of day and as a result is not overweight at all but tends to crave biscuits etc (which we never normally eat) when he stops smoking.

Its not available on dvd I dont think

DH hasn't put on an ounce w/the Zyban. He needed to gain weight, tho.

ODFOD you freak.16 year old Zombie post ......... reported.

Leave him to it and focus on yourself instead. And if he asks why the new outfit/haircut/makeover/ career change, tell him you're planning ahead for when he's incapacitated through smoking.
Worked for my sister-in-law.

Zombie thread

My dh was a smoker. He'd given up 8 months before he met me because thankfully his blood pressure was high.
He just gave up. Just like that.
I'm glad as I couldn't be with a smoker.
None of he 6 adults in the family smoke now thank god.
Dh smoked for 30 years. Mostly a pipe and he still misses it.
I wonder if his health issues were smoking related but it's been 9 years now.

10 years on, I wonder if he's still smoking