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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

How often do you have ...

13 replies

Moggy72 · 08/12/2013 13:21

Ok girls - how often do you and your DP have sex? I've been married for 16 years and have three kids. DH would probably be happy with 5 times a week. We settle for between 2-3 times a week, which is still more than I would like. It causes issues and is starting to bother me. I have a low inclination to have regular sex .... But admit I do enjoy it when I get going.

OP posts:

CailinDana · 08/12/2013 13:25

It doesn't matter how often other people have it, you are not required to keep up with some sort of standard.
What issues is it causing?

YouStayClassySanDiego · 08/12/2013 13:26

Since I started working full time it's about once a week.

Married 22 years and three teenage ds's and to be honest we're both flat out about 5 minutes after getting into bed and we go to bed before the boys.

Sleepyhoglet · 08/12/2013 20:40

Why does it matter? When we feel like it. There is no set routine. With us both having hard jobs with long hours it isn't that frequent. However I don't think this means we have any issues. Eg when we are on holiday we have sex every day.

lifehasafunnywayofhelpinguout · 08/12/2013 20:40

Since you ask 3 days a week but at the very least 3 times in the one session so at least 9 times which I suppose would equate to more that once a day, but I would say to you "Do not compare yourself to other people. A lot of people seem to think sex is a competition and it is not. xx

TheGinLushMinion · 08/12/2013 20:59

Don't compare your sex life with others, it's never a good thing.

My own ebs & flows, sometimes we're all over each other-other times we can go a week or so without any, it isn't an issue.

You should both be happy & able to discuss the subject.

MajesticWhine · 08/12/2013 21:35

er, less than you Moggy. Been married 20+ years. But I wish I was getting a bit more. I have a DP who is not that bothered, and makes me feel a bit like a sex pest. Which would you prefer?

LittlePeaPod · 08/12/2013 21:46

DH and I have always had similar appetite so normally have sex every day unless one of us is working away, we are running late or extremely tired because can both work very long hours. However I am 36+3 and getting a lot of strong BH so recently its down to about 3 times a week, which really bothers me.. I miss been intimately close to DH.

I do agree with those posters that say dont compare yourself to others. There is no right or wrong with regards how often you have sex. It's down to each couple. DH and I are lucky we have a similar appetite.

Original poster

Moggy72 · 08/12/2013 21:58

I was more curious - than comparing myself to others !
Majesticwhine - I think i make my husband feel like a bit of a sex pest !!

OP posts:

Fairylea · 08/12/2013 22:01

We are totally random... sometimes weeks without if both knackered and stressed and sometimes everyday for a week or so. It totally depends !

LadyInDisguise · 08/12/2013 22:09

If that helps the latest study seem to say that in average women have sex once a week, compared to 3 times a week about 10 years ago.

What is important is if you and your DH are happy about the frequency. I think lot of cuddles and being 'touchy' is just as important as having sex and if you never do any of those then maybe having sex regularly is important? Dunno

Unlikelyamazonian · 08/12/2013 23:35

Twinklestein · 08/12/2013 23:39

OP I think you should only have sex when you want it. If your husband feels like a bit of a sex pest, it's probably because he's pestering you for sex... If it bothers you, say so.

LittlePeaPod · 09/12/2013 09:00

LadyInDisguise

I think lot of cuddles and being 'touchy' is just as important as having sex and if you never do any of those then maybe having sex regularly is important?

That's a big generalisation! DH and I have lots of sex and enjoy that sexual intimacy. However that is nota replacement for the affection (cuddles, kisses etc.) and intimacy outside the bedroom. We are both very tactile. Just because we have high sex drives and have lots of sex doesn't mean that we are someone compensating for a lack of intimacy outside the bedroom. Every couple is different. We are lucky that we are similar in that department.

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