So, back in March I had a one night stand with a man, both single but very much out of character for me, A: because I'm a lesbian and B: I don't do one night stands.
Anyway, this guy turned out to be a bit of a sleeze.
Fast forward to last weekend, my friends and I were returning to my home from a night out, I live a few yards from town centre. One of my friends fell behind a little whilst on her phone but I waited outside.
She returned angry and upset that the guy I slept with had cornered her asking questions about me and got a bit "lairy".
I saw red and rang him, making it out I was inviting him to mine for a repeat of our one niight stand. When he arrived I pushed him up against the wall by the scruff of his neck and kneed him in the balls. I then threw a few light punches to his face, after that I fell and broke a leg.
My gf broke up the scuffle and he proceeded to tell her that I had been gagging for him and loved every minute. She pushed him away and told him to fuck off.
GF is fine, man walked away unscathed.
I apologised profusely to gf for putting her in that situation and she understood.
I don' really want to text guy as it took me ages to shake him off the first time.
I'm worried because he knows where I live although I don't THINK he would retaliate though.
Is there any way I can forgive myself for my grotesque actions? I would just like to add that I am not usually a violent person, I just care very dearly for this person. Feeling very down at the moment and yes, probably selfishly looking for justification