I am a regular but have namechanged so i'm not outed.
Myself and my partner have been planning all year to get engaged. By planning I mean he said he would start saving for a ring. He has quite old fashioned views and wants an 'expensive' ring. I, on the other hand, couldn't give a shiny shite about the price. I'm not materialistic in the slightest. I would be quite happy to pop down the registry office with just close family and a small social club do after. But he wants the whole big shabang. Fair enough, we agreed to compromise.
We have had numerous conversations about it over the past year. All seemed fine...until last night.
The subject of weddings was brought up and I asked him if he had saved enough for the ring with it almost being the end of the year and all. It transpired that he hasn't saved up at all. Not only that but he now wants to put off the engagement. I have to admit I was taken aback and a bit hurt so I left it at that and went to sleep.
Today, I have been speaking with him and told him how hurt I am. Not only hurt but confused. He said he loves me more than anything and still wants to marry me, he was just having a wobbly. I asked what has brought all this on and he says it is because a few months ago his Step Sister broke up with her fiance, and he doesn't want that to happen to us 
.
I calmly explained to him that lots of people break up everyday for lots of different reasons. But none of that affects us in any which way. I said that if other peoples relationship troubles are affecting his own, then he obviously isn't ready or mature enough to make such a huge commitment. Also the fact that he is quite obviously insecure within our relationship would not been a good start to engagement.
Aside from that, his Step Sister's relationship ended only a couple of months ago. So if he truly planned to marry me why hadn't he been saving before that?
The whole thing has left me feeling very confused about our relationship and what we both want. Up until now I thought we were both on the same page. But obviously we are not. I am quite unsure of what to do now. I have said that getting engaged is now out of the question as it is unfair on both of us. But where do we go from here? For me, this has changed everything. I know marriage isn't the be all and end all, but I really was under the impression (after A LOT of marriage talk this year, we even went ring shopping together!) that this is what he wanted too. Especially since he was the person who first suggested engagement!
I know it's a very first world problem, i just really needed a rant. 