Lovely new man-but heres the bad bit..

[memorylapse]

met a nice guy on a dating site..after a few disastrous dates with others..we had a lot in common and I was attracted to him..he invited me out to see a band a few days lately and after a lovely evening..he walked me home..he is 46..he seperated from his wife last year who he was with for thirteen years..she was ten years younger....

He told me he fancied me and wanted to see me again..all looking good..he leaned in to kiss me then proceeded to kiss me like they did in the old black and white movies!..pursed lips..just kind of wiggled his head around..I couldnt really kiss him back because it just wasnt possible..it was completely weird..that last time I was kissed like that I was 14!

so is this a really bad sign..he wants me to go round tonight..but if he kisses me like that again I will scream..and Im really unsure about taking things further..which is a shame because I really liked him..but it was honestly like kissing a piece of cardboard..there was no response..just pursed lips..bit of a damp squid..but he seems really into me..

OP I think its a shame people are saying run for the hills . We all have to start somewhere and so what if he doesn't have experience . You can teach him- what an opportunity !

One of my exes kissed like a sink plunger crossed with a Labrador.

He'd open his mouth as wide as possible, fasten onto the lower half of my face and then sort of lick. I might just as well have not bothered with foundation from the nose down, let alone lipstick.

I tried to gently educate him by example but he was unstoppable. It was like the facehugger scene from Alien.

Lovely, lovely bloke but ugh. I'm convinced that's why he'd never settled down; he probably couldn't find a woman willing to endure the slurping.

Monkeys-Im sorry I can't stop laughing! that sounds horrific ..well went round last night..spent an hour or so chatting then started kissing..it felt in a way that because Saturday didnt lead to sex..it felt like a white elephant in the room like we had to have sex , to get it out of the way..it didnt feel natural to start with then progressed..but unfortunately the flagpole didnt rise..we did other things and he obviously knows his way round a womans body..I explained that I understood about nerves..I was nervous too..we cuddled and he said he didnt want me to go home..then as I left he went all cool with me..said he was too busy for the next week to see me and no arrangements were made to see each other again.
he sent me a few friendly texts today said he was tired and busy this week..no arrangements made to see each other again..he seems to have completely cooled off...

Hmm, crap kisser and willy wilt...sounds like you had a lucky escape tbh! Seriously, I don't mean to be harsh but sex is very important to me and I love snogging so this would be a total deal breaker. Never mind though, next!

Oh memory that's a pretty limp first time (excuse the pun) - I remember my first time with exp was extraordinary. I wS completely out of my depth and yes, he lost his erection too. Had a break, a drink of milk (?) and continued. The first time is just plain weird. Why go all cool with you? WhatsvthAt about... How do you feel about the 'I'm busy all week' thing?

tbh I feel like hes blaming me for his willy wilt..I dont see how he could have gone off me in a non second..on Saturday..he was up for it (scuse the pun) but I was very much on my period..but there definitely wasnt a problem then..I guess he was horribly nervous last night, first time since marraige break up etc and that wasnt a problem..the being cool with me afterwards IS a problem though

Hmmm so what's the plan?

Im really not sure what to do..I told him Iwas childfree tonight but he said he was busy all week..then he texts me saying oh we could have met up tonight....

Whether he is nervous or not he is making you feel unsure rather than good about yourself. I think he has to go OP! Let him convince you otherwise if he can.

well I have just texted back and said..no problem, you seem quite busy.give me a shout when you are available..I will see if I am free and we can catch up...he has just texted back saying..."Im not busy on Friday..FRIDAYS FREE!!!!!"

Yeah, maybe I agree. Guess my exp and me just laughed through it ... It started happening again when he took antidepressants (is your man on them?) and at other times when he was stressed/tired/training for marathon etc. we did other stuff. Talked about it so it wasnt the elephant in the room. But not so much that it became an 'issue'. It's up to your bloke to get past it .. It was the first time FFS... Have you talked on the phone since sex?

It sounds as though the mood wasn't right for you both OP, sometimes a man can't just click his fingers and get on with it, so he's probably a bit disappointed with himself that he couldn't perform as he would like to have done; especially if he knows he was well up for it with you on Saturday. Maybe that's why he seemed cold with you, he was really just pissed off with himself and doing the old 'push her away' defensive tactic.

See him on Friday and perhaps both of you try not to expect anything or force the situation. Drink some wine and have a game of cards sitting beside each other.

right I just called him..he sounded really pleased to hear from me..we got talking and he said that yesterday felt unatural etc and he agreed that we had put pressure on ourselves. We have arranged to go out for a meal on Friday..he said it was lovely to hear my voice on the phone and sounded relieved..he admitted that he was very nervous and then when I had to leave straight afterwards..he thought I wasnt interested..

Yeah - Friday! Go for it!

I agree with everyone who says give him a chance. I think he sounds like a gentleman (I'm in my early 30s by the way not 90.) ;-)

I also think this is to be expected for a nice guy on a first date. I agree with Galaxy that he might have been being respectful.

Enjoy!

Ahhhhhhh that sounds promising. Everyone feels pressure. Glad you talked! A meal on Friday sounds good, maybe go slower... Oooh the anticipation! (Can you tell it's been 2 months since I had sex - argh)

I think we rushed into things..because things got heated on Saturday..it was then kind of expected to finish what we started last night.fingers crossed Friday is ok

Well, you know what memory , you both know you like each other, fancy each other, want to take things further, and want to donut in your own time, and you can talk about it. That's more in a few dates than me and my DDs father could manage in 17 yrs (wonder why I wandered off and met exp)

Do it ... Not donut , doh

ha! ha! I was wondering what donut was..thought after 18 years with ex h I had missed out on exciting new sexual positions!

Well I'm sure ' donut ' could become something new and interesting.... (She says ...wistfully remembering that me and ex p were still discovering weird and interesting positions right up to when he dumped me)

A sticky jam donut? Oh, now I'm just bring smutty . ..

((mind boggles!)) I know that feeling..ex h and I had very varied sex life..I do still miss it..but not him..

Well, you have something new! Enjoy x