The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Stepping Into Christmas With Sobriety On Their Minds.

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

This is a thread for those who are worried about their drinking habits, relationships with alcohol, and/or drugs.

Even if you think your intake has gone up more today than the last or this week than last, come and join us on Gerald, the amazing, always room for more, fully stocked with glorious treats and donned in his Christmas Decorations, Bus!

We are a supportive thread, full of very different posters, from various backgrounds. Some of us drink in moderation, allowing ourselves the odd glass or two as a treat, or just because we're in control of our drinking for that day.

One Day At A Time.

We have those who abstain completely, and those who wake every day to Day 1 and hope with all of their hearts that they can, and will, make it to Day 2.

If you've followed our journey to date, you'll know who most of us are by now smile and we kind of have two 'sayings', that sum up who we are -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

That said, we will not have any bashing of support groups, such as AA or Community Addiction Support Teams, or even other support threads, posts like that will be reported if the need arises, so 'Orange Paper supporters' don't waste your time please :)

This Bus is a place for honesty, sanctuary and safety, something that has taken almost four years for a number of very special, very lovely, very honest and caring Babes to establish.

So, come find a seat, grab something warm from the supply cupboard at the back of the Bus, it's filled with (non alcoholic or narcotic) delicious, luxury treats and HUGE fluffy quilts, plus anything else you might need to help YOU get through YOUR day a minute, or an hour at a time.

And, if you'd like to see where this all began - This Is The Reason We're All Here, The Original JWN Thread

And This Is Our Previous Thread, With Links To Those Over The Past Few Years

We hope to meet you soon :) x

Hi Hope how are you doing?

Hi Spanna - not too bad. Had my re-interview for job today as part of work capability review . May have been a bit too frank, but will see what happens. Missed dd getting a county-wide award for writing as it clashed with the interview time, but took her to a panto after so we had a good night. Got tons ofdrinks parties coming up in next couple of weeks so bit worried about backsliding due to work stress. How are you lovely?

Great to hear from you Im. Sorry that SS haven't gotten a move on, and that that lout is still hurting you.
On the issue of not wanting to drink because your doctor said you had to and wanting to drink when your DD said you couldn't, keep this in mind ladies. I've read it in literature everywhere, "The defining characteristic of the addict is defiance".
I'm saying you are addicted to alcohol, or are an alcoholic, it's just a thought really.
Anyway, I've been bent over the toilet all evening, throwing my guts up and panicking. I have to assume that I've already lost or risk having a meltdown in the court room. Bitch social worker told me she was going to tel the judge all sorts of stuff about me, and when I said I would do the same, she screamed, "are you threatening me"? Turns out my frustration might have sunk this ship. It is an impossible no-win set up here in New York.
Thanks for all the good wishes. I will need them all. The scales of justice seem so unfair to me. I only ever drank when my child was asleep. How can parents who do drugs still have their children here and I am without my infant son? Oh I'm on a pity and woe-is-me spiral. This too shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass.

And here come the tears again...

I'll update tomorrow.

why, you have been on such a tough journey, bashing down obstacle after obstacle. Whatever your vindictive social worker is threatening please remember that the judge will be able to see a sober, brave and determined you. You have done everything possible to prove your sincerity. I wish you you every bit of strength and luck for tomorrow. Xxx

Ma I had a non molistation order before but it ran out, for now I need my locks changed I'm going sanctuary on Tuesday hopefully they can help us,
Plan for Xmas is me take dc to him on Boxing Day x

spanna I really hope your house move is sorted out soon for you x stay strong

mama thanks for the welcome back I missed your post earlier, the police do not know about the latest three things we have been offers a homeless place but I turned it down iv fled two houses from him before I'm not leaving another iv got to stand firm for the dc now, so because of that I have been told I'm not protecting my dc as he has a key so SS will be doing an assessment.

So I'm back on the bus or is that the sidecar?

Ok babes. I need help. I've drank so much wine tonight at home I've just vommed I've had no sleep DH knows nothing asleep upstairs I've work and school run tomorrow and I am a horrible person.
Why am I doing this?

I'm, I meant to say "I'm NOT saying you are addicted to alcohol or an alcoholic". G'ah! Key word omitted.

Oh Flumpy, poor you. You are not a horrible person. And this is not the time to ask why you are drinking so much. Just knock this day out as best you can. Get some painkillers, lots of water and try to get a few hours sleep. Do the school run, muddle through work best you can.
Hang in there, babe. I'll be thinking of you.

Vomiting has stopped, for now. I am overcome with a strange sense of calm and steely determination.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.

why I have woken up extra early thinking about you. Glad to hear your nerves are calm for now. Bitch social worker is a hypocrite of the highest order, hoping judge will be of similar attitude to the one who got very cranky with ss a while back for making things difficult for you. I am going back to sleep now but will be thinking of you today. Fingers toes and eyes crossed.
im, sending you courage too.
Mwah to all xxx

why I missed your post too
I'm pleased to hear you have a sense of calm I understand that its somehow our way of helping us through a tough time I felt unbelievably calm before my court case for my dc's.
Thinking of you today

Oh babes. Hang tight everyone. It's a bit bumpy tonight.

why everything still crossed for you

flumpy don't beat yourself up. That's the worst thing you can do. We've all been there a million times. I can't work out the time difference, but please be nice to yourself. Have some water, get into bed. Tomorrow is another day. xx

I'm I think everyone in the bus will gladly mow him down.

looking same here with all these functions and just general celebration in the air. I've got one foot in the side car, but desperately just trying to not go back to where I was. So far doing ok. Haven't been drunk, just managing to control it. But it's not easy and I don't think it's the way I can, or want to be. But giving up in December seems so impossible and I just don't want to be miserable either. I'm looking forward to January.

and hugs to all the others spanna mamma beaches isinde demented and all those other luscious babes

Morning babes

Strength to why for today- keep saying that serenity prayer over and over again. is your sponsor going with you? I suspect that some sw may enjoy the power trip but the court system is separate and I hope,will give you a fair hearing. Best of luck. x

I'm think everyone's already said it. What an appalling excuse for a man your ex is. Does seth bite? Can he be persuaded to bite? suspect he is a kind gentle dog Stay safe and stay strong.

baby sorry, I didn't read your very kind post properly yesterday- ds bouncing round me. I got to the point where I knew for certain that I wanted to stop and then found I couldn't. It was the bus that got me there and going to aa has made me stay sober. It's hard to explain because when you walk into aa you know it's going to mess up your lovely drinking habit so you have to be certain you are ready to quit.Anyhow, how are you today,lovely lady? Big,big squeeze from me. x

Hi spanna and looking and beaches - the wind problem is quite bad

flumpy ow...keep the painkiller nearby and get lots of water down you. I know you used to /still do attend na but maybe get to a few aa meetings too? (or SMART etc) Some people do both and find it helpful.Poor you.

Hi mamma and socfish. it's nearly christmas so the work party season is almost over. Just another 2 weeks and the pressure to join in with a christmas drink will be over- daft isn't it?

I had a rare night out with dh last night,we went christmas shopping and had a meal out. in the restaurant there were 3 ladies sharing a bottle of champagne. They all just had 1 glass. It lasted them the 2 frigging hours we were there. I can't imagine any parallel universe where I wouldn't neck down champagne all by myself. How is it possible to slowly sip 1 miserable glass all evening????? Good job I was on the mocktails.

Hi all, just a quick catch up read and off to work. Will post more later. Sending strength and good luck vibes to those struggling with really difficult situations at the moment. Hang on in there.

Flumpy if you want to stop you have to be very firm with yourself. You have to make a massive effort and work hard on being sober. Do you want to drink over Christmas? If not, don't do it. Put all your energies on not drinking.

It's when we're not sure that the ww gets us. If you are going to drink, take control of it (if you can) and decide which day/s. Which days are you happy to sacrifice to a hangover? Which precious days are you ok to forgo and feel like crap for the sake of a drink?

If you don't want to drink, remember, you only have to avoid the first glass. You can do it, if you want to.

Love to all, back later x

Good words faire. I needed to hear that.

I'm that is so awful . You are right that sometimes moving location is not the answer, what has to change is the interaction so that he cannot harm you anymore. You can change the physical locks on the door to prevent access but what can you do to also protect and strengthen yourself so that you can take the right steps? From what you've posted before I think I remember that not drinking is a part of that for you. So all strength to you.

why thinking of you and hoping that all goes well today.

Faire is so right.

I notice some posts saying that December is such a hard time to stop drinking.... well my experience (put to the test over many, many years) is that I could ALWAYS find a reason to put it off - Christmas, big birthdays coming up, weddings, not while I'm in my 40s - I'll wait till I'm 70, not till after the summer, not till the next century..... and so on.

So what can you do to make December a productive month? It might be difficult to avoid party nights out or Christmas day, but just because its December do you have to drink every day? Is there something about christmas adverts that make you open the sherry bottle every time you hear them (actually in previous times I would have said 'yes' to that one ). Instead can you use the stress as a very good reason to not a have a drink? I was out last night with a group of friends and I heard at least two of them saying that they weren't drinking because they had stressful Christmas shopping to do the next day, or a works night out at the end of the week.

This is also a really good time to experiment with your own drinking not drinking and find out what helps you. There are lots of non-alcoholic alternatives around this year (have you tried Belvoir spiced winter berries mix?). Even if you decide you don't like it, it's surely worth a try one night. Try out different strategies for reducing or limiting your drinks e.g. start EVERY event with 2 non-alcoholic drinks, then see how it goes after that (my experience was that by the time I'd had a couple of big glasses of lime and soda, or orange and lemonade my desire for a drink had reduced significantly, and often to almost nothing). Or the strategy of my friend who despite good resolutions found it difficult to stick to just one glass, when she'd had one and everyone else was carrying on, her resolve just vanished. So now she makes her 'just one glass' the final drink that she has rather than the first one.

Whatever you experiment with now is all good knowledge for when January does arrive.

Waves

Love and strength to everyone who needs it today

The wine is still in my car! (this would look interesting in the event of a road accident) Despite feeling quite stressed about work ATM I felt really chuffed with myself that I managed to resist last night

I am planning on building on that - imagine how proud I would be if I could resist again tonight and stay dry ALL WEEK.

I'm gonna do it. Definitely

Like a warrior that fights, and wins the battle,
I know the taste of victory.
Though I went through some nights,
Consumed by the shadows, I was crippled emotionally
Somehow I made it through the heartache, I escaped
I found my way out of the darkness, kept my faith
Kept my faith

When the river was deep, I didnt falter
When the mountain was high, I still believed
When the valley was low, it didnt stop me, no

I knew you were waiting for me!

With some conditions, my boy is mine again.

why I am so, so happy for you. Mother and son reunited. Well done girl, your steely determination certainly shone through. I hope you both have a wonderful time bonding together again. Xxx

Iv just gone all tingly reading that lovely why what a perfect Christmas present

Well done why! I've been checking the thread all day for your news!!! Really happy for you, bet your boy is thrilled! Hope you're having a lovely n&t to celebrate!
Now i'm let's see if we can get a similar good news story for you.
venus thanks for your post, wise as usual!
soc, beaches, alias, isinde, guggs, nuff hope you're all doing good this Friday eve.

why I just jumped in the air in the middle if my living room with joy for you (as if my neighbours didn't think I was mad enough already) this is a good day in our sometimes horrific but sometimes joyous world of ours xxx