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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Stepping Into Christmas With Sobriety On Their Minds.

999 replies

Mouseface · 16/11/2013 13:41

Hello, tis me, Mouse Smile

This is a thread for those who are worried about their drinking habits, relationships with alcohol, and/or drugs.

Even if you think your intake has gone up more today than the last or this week than last, come and join us on Gerald, the amazing, always room for more, fully stocked with glorious treats and donned in his Christmas Decorations, Bus!

We are a supportive thread, full of very different posters, from various backgrounds. Some of us drink in moderation, allowing ourselves the odd glass or two as a treat, or just because we're in control of our drinking for that day.

One Day At A Time.

We have those who abstain completely, and those who wake every day to Day 1 and hope with all of their hearts that they can, and will, make it to Day 2.

If you've followed our journey to date, you'll know who most of us are by now smile and we kind of have two 'sayings', that sum up who we are -

    • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
    • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

That said, we will not have any bashing of support groups, such as AA or Community Addiction Support Teams, or even other support threads, posts like that will be reported if the need arises, so 'Orange Paper supporters' don't waste your time please :)

This Bus is a place for honesty, sanctuary and safety, something that has taken almost four years for a number of very special, very lovely, very honest and caring Babes to establish.

So, come find a seat, grab something warm from the supply cupboard at the back of the Bus, it's filled with (non alcoholic or narcotic) delicious, luxury treats and HUGE fluffy quilts, plus anything else you might need to help YOU get through YOUR day a minute, or an hour at a time.

And, if you'd like to see where this all began - This Is The Reason We're All Here, The Original JWN Thread

And This Is Our Previous Thread, With Links To Those Over The Past Few Years

We hope to meet you soon :) x

OP posts:
beachestoexplore · 25/11/2013 19:23

What Why said (and put so well). You have nothing to feel ashamed of and if writing down help give you that voice then go for it. She/they should have a much better idea of how to help you if they know the full picture. Take care babe x

Mamabear74 · 25/11/2013 19:42

Echoing the wise words of why and beaches. Don't beat yourself up too much for having a drink tonight but don't go too hard, you'll need your strength for tomorrow i'm.
why how are you lovely?
beaches thanks for the props! Grin I had a wobble earlier & asked DP to bring home a tiny bottle of wine. He said no but he would pop out later if I really wanted it. The urge has passed so I'm really grateful for his encouragement. And that of all the babes here. Hope you're all safe & warm tonight!

Pawprint · 25/11/2013 20:14

Sad news re Mouse's mum on Bereavement :(

chitofftheshovel · 25/11/2013 21:07

I'm sorry to read you are going through a tough time, can SO understand your want for a drink. Although, type of person the babes are, any emotional time see's the want of a drink rise (or is it just me) happy, i'll have a drink, sad, I'll have a drink, stressed, I'll have a drink etc etc etc.

ma I like the sound of your bloke, very supportive. A person I spent time with on Sunday was constantly trying to get beer into me. In a way I found it easier saying no to it, finding strength (although I did drink wine in the evening). oh, and i misread your post above and thought you were asking why in what way she is lovely, not calling her lovely and asking after her. Bit unlike this lovely bus I thought, until I re-read it!

Hats off to all those not drinking tonight. I'm on my second glass of wine and not really feeling it, of course I shall end up tanning the bottle but Monday is a shit day to start anything (typed with more than a hint of irony!)

SocFish · 25/11/2013 21:12

Tuesday Morning here

I’m hope you’re ok.

mamma awesome. Waiting out the urge often helps. It’s having the nous to say no during that urge that is really good. Well done. I’m finding that the first few days are far easier each time and things like not drinking on a Friday are fine now, BUT, I am so aware of how fast I slide down that slippery slope and before I know it I’m drinking every day again. I really never want to go back to that. So even though I’m finding it much easier, I’m not allowing myself to drop my guard ever. I am trying to stick to my mantra of “not drinking ever”. If I start allowing myself a drink day here and there I’m very afraid of where it will lead. But, yes it seems easier each time.

why so well said.

beaches loved your post and can so relate to it. I love drinking, but I hate what it does to me.

alias hope today/tomorrow is better for you. Changes are hard.

dancer keep trying. I found the first time hellish. Absolutely impossible, but if I can do this then anyone can. I’ve been drinking like a pisspot for 25 years.

faire swearing is mandatory.

spanna paw looking babyjane Isinde mouse and all other babes have an awesome evening.

Today is looking good. x

FantaIsFine · 25/11/2013 21:48

Evening (or morning), here goes with first bolding attempt:

Soc thanks again for your words the other day, I really think that snapped me out of "it's not my fault and everything's just driving me crazy" mode. Not that it's stopping stuff driving me crazy.

I don't want to be smug esp as it's v early days, but please forgive me for sharing: 2nd day AF with yesterday being the first one since mid July and I'm almost inclined to count Saturday where I felt I'd let myself down with accepting 1/2 glass of champagne and then wondering why (but I finished it).

Close call a short while ago with my mother driving me up the wall in the very short space of an hour and could have murdered a quadruple Scotch. Fortunately no booze in the house so I am rockin' with a Becks Blue - please tell me that doesn't count? - to be followed later with an Options chocolate or maybe a Horlicks if I really push the boat out.

Chit did you find it easy to explain no yesterday? My best friend knows for me, others that I'm "trying to be good" but a couple of big dos are coming up that are circles only knowing me as OTT good time girl...I know one of you ladies made it the other night stopping at just the 3, but I daren't attempt it!

Did some searching on Sat and found out quite how many calories an be in a bottle of red! Yikes. No wonder I've been piling it on, 2 bottles isn't far off a day's calorie allowance! Genuinely had no idea. Feeling justified filling my freezer with shit as rewards.

Im what you are going through sounds ghastly. Sorry.

Hope everyone's evenings (mornings) are lovely

FIF

Imdoingthis · 25/11/2013 22:11

why you make so much sense
Hurting tonight hes kicked his shit around
Sad

babyjane1 · 25/11/2013 22:31

im sending you a warm hug and gazillions of support, why your one awesome lady, I'm so proud of you. So many of you are doing well, that old wine wine is quaking in her cheap ugly shoes. I'm on day 4 and my house is looking soooo much better, wish I could say the same for me!!! Stay strong babes and mouse if you are reading your in my thoughts and my prayers every day xxxxx ps thanks for all your support, I'm touched xx

aliasjoey · 25/11/2013 22:39

soc thank you - such a simple phrase "changes are hard" but very reassuring that this happens to everyone, and we will get through it! Well Done to you too on your successes!

BTW please everybody remember that ma is ma and mamma is mamma

babyj hoping you're doing okay?

lookingforhope · 25/11/2013 22:56

Aw I'm, I just checked in to see how you are, cannot believe what I am reading about your rabbits. I am keeping everything crossed that you find somewhere to go soon, I think you are doing so well under such hard circumstances. You will find the strength to talk to your lady tomorrow, good luck x

Mamabear congrats on day 11! Fantastically well done. Dancer hope you got through today ok. Ma, Beaches, Joey, Faire, Soc, Spanna, Why - hello all, and anyone else I have missed. Welcome back to Paw. Will check in tomorrow, night all x

lookingforhope · 25/11/2013 23:09

Ps fanta it was me who stopped at 3 the other day but I always find it easier with cider than wine, and it did take some willpower. I credit this bus with giving me the support to really think about my choice. Big test will be Thursday, leaving do at work and we are all really stressed at the moment. Planning to stick on bottled beer and drink it very slowly. At the moment am enjoying my AF days so hope I can draw on that.

dementedma · 26/11/2013 06:29

Indeed. Popped back in to see posts to ma and got myself all confused.
Who takes my name in vain?
Need to catch up

lookingforhope · 26/11/2013 07:14

Thinking of I'm this Tuesday morning. Hope you are ok my lovey. Re-read Why's post - she is a wise lady, you will find your voice x Sending you strength today ...

Pawprint · 26/11/2013 08:46

Day one done - it's shocking how much better I sleep when sober. Normally, I'm constantly chugging back the water.

Bastard wine.

Been thinking of Mouse - hope she's as well as can be expected.

theeverydaydancer · 26/11/2013 09:41

Managed to get through last night wine/alcohol free. Actually was OK as I kept myself busy redoing my CV and watching interesting things on the tv/internet.

Decided today I am going to drink lots of water to detox my system and hopefully clear my skin up which has been looking and feeling very dry and unhealthy.

babyjane1 · 26/11/2013 10:09

Me to dancer lots of water and green tea for me, setting up the WII to jiggle my wiggle and have some fun with the kids, guess it all helps, happy days babes xxx

jesuswhatnext · 26/11/2013 11:28

hi beautiful babes - just popped in to see everyone! Smile

mouse - no words, just thoughts!

love to all! XXXXXX

(am fine btw! Grin)

beachestoexplore · 26/11/2013 12:33

Hi jesus, a new babe here but I have read the old threads and well, you are just fantastic Smile

I feel I must now raise my hand and say "it was me, I mixed up ma and mamma in my post" I tried to correct it but I couldn't go back! I know you are very different (and beautiful) babes, please please forgive me. I will try harder. [tail tucked between legs] Grin

Baby jiggle your wiggle! Love that.

Im hope you get some rl support today, sending lots of strength to you x

Paw I watched that tonight program, 6 months! They suggested she gave up for 6 months and also the 70 units from just 7 bottles of wine. That smashes the recommended 14 a week. I was trying to work out how you would do just 14.... A thimbleful each night should just about do it. It was quite an eye opener.

Still freezing here but there is something so calm about snow, and tidy. It makes even the messiest yards look good. I know I wasn't going to count but day 26 today. Shock

hope, joey, why, spanna, soc, dancer, paw, rural, Faire and all of the other babes, hope you have a good day.

aliasjoey · 26/11/2013 12:37

Did I say that my housekeeping standards were already as low as they could go? Wrong - have reached the bottom pits of slovenliness!

(Asked DD to put away her clean washing, which she did. Told her she needed to hang up her school shirts instead of just throwing them in the general direction of wardrobe. She complained. And I thought, don't really care, as long as she can find clean ones - it's not as though I bothered to iron them anyway Blush If she doesn't care, why should I?!)

I had a drink last night, but that's it now for the rest of the week. So far, extra hours not too bad, but by Friday I will be shattered! I just keep thinking of the money...

Imdoingthis · 26/11/2013 12:59

Beaches I was talking to someone in a shop last night about how cold it is I said that theres snow he said where I said erm I don't know but I just know there's some somewhere it was from u I had it in my head ha ha! Then I remembers MN is not just my land its further a field x

ruralreynard · 26/11/2013 15:16

Big wave to JWN nice to see you here. Glad all is well with you Smile
Welcome new babes, chit dancer and any other new babes Ive missed
joey glad so far so good with new hours, as you said just keep thinking of the extra money Smile
mama well done on resisting the ww last night, you're a star Smile
Im really hoping you can find somewhere safe soon. Killing the rabbits really worries me, the twunt sounds like he is totally out of control. Keep pestering until you find somewhere. Big hugs xx
soc beaches you sound as if you have the ww under control, keep going, you are both an inspiration.
Waves to why paw fanta ma isinde baby hope and all the other babes I've missed.
mouse thinking of you as always xx
Day 7. I will not be drinking today. x

Anneisnotmyname · 26/11/2013 15:24

Day one today, had half a glass of wine last night. I want to try and get a good run of af days before Xmas. I'm getting snowed under now with decorating and house work and life...trying to break it down to manageable pieces but it's getting frustrating how long it's taking.

whydidthishappen · 26/11/2013 16:14

I'm thinking of you all day. Please update.

Fairenuff · 26/11/2013 17:09

beaches don't worry about mixing up names. typos, etc. Happens to me all the time Grin

JWN good to hear all is well with you.

I've got one eye on the Amazon sale at the moment, waiting for the things I want to buy to come up. Back later x

Imdoingthis · 26/11/2013 17:36

Today went well although I still have no refuge space
The worker came out to me and I had written down recent things I gave it to her, and shes talked to the police today about how things will get worse for me if hes arrested, how scared I am.

Police want to see me I have put them off today