The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Stepping Into Christmas With Sobriety On Their Minds.

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

This is a thread for those who are worried about their drinking habits, relationships with alcohol, and/or drugs.

Even if you think your intake has gone up more today than the last or this week than last, come and join us on Gerald, the amazing, always room for more, fully stocked with glorious treats and donned in his Christmas Decorations, Bus!

We are a supportive thread, full of very different posters, from various backgrounds. Some of us drink in moderation, allowing ourselves the odd glass or two as a treat, or just because we're in control of our drinking for that day.

One Day At A Time.

We have those who abstain completely, and those who wake every day to Day 1 and hope with all of their hearts that they can, and will, make it to Day 2.

If you've followed our journey to date, you'll know who most of us are by now smile and we kind of have two 'sayings', that sum up who we are -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

That said, we will not have any bashing of support groups, such as AA or Community Addiction Support Teams, or even other support threads, posts like that will be reported if the need arises, so 'Orange Paper supporters' don't waste your time please :)

This Bus is a place for honesty, sanctuary and safety, something that has taken almost four years for a number of very special, very lovely, very honest and caring Babes to establish.

So, come find a seat, grab something warm from the supply cupboard at the back of the Bus, it's filled with (non alcoholic or narcotic) delicious, luxury treats and HUGE fluffy quilts, plus anything else you might need to help YOU get through YOUR day a minute, or an hour at a time.

And, if you'd like to see where this all began - This Is The Reason We're All Here, The Original JWN Thread

And This Is Our Previous Thread, With Links To Those Over The Past Few Years

We hope to meet you soon :) x

Oooh and ma, I forgot to ask, how did it go? Did ds get his day off, did you have a long skinny, or what.

(Obviously, I'm talking about coffee )

mouse So hard when you just have to wait and hope things get better as of course you know. Thinking of you and all the family at this difficult time. Hugsxx

Big wave to my old friend kotinka sounds like all is well with you.

kotinka were you the babe that made sculptures out of quality street wrappers last year. Or did I just make that up?

at faire
Ds went to school but things are getting worse. It is toms family's turn to do the run tomorrow and ds is very upset and says not going to school tomorrow as is not getting in a car with "bully".

Oh dear, ma, so it is still ongoing then? Often these things do blow over and they are best friends again. What is it that Tom is doing/saying that makes him call it bullying. Any chance that it actually is?

Anyway, plan B, resort to bribery if necessary.

Now about that long, skinny...

The long,skinny didn't materialise either.
Think I got a bit carried away with that one lol

Ah well, que sera sera and all that ma.

I'll be off to bed in a bit. Hope everyone is somewhere safe and keeping warm. Any signs of snow yet?

Hi,

I've posted before here ages ago, and elsewhere on MN different name.

I feel a bit guilty as this may be longish, but I am feeling so trapped and I know you all sound so fab you won't judge me. I hope.

I drink way too much. Two bottles vino easy on my own at home. Always want not to. I've also had seizures, originally caused by (minimal although any use at all is bad) drugs, but after that just over drinking. Febrile convulsions as a child DOES prompt it, tell your kids, I didn't believe it.

What really fucks me off is that I want to stop drinking. I CAN do not at all quite happily, but on the advice of my GP I mustn't do cold turkey as it may cause seizure. I am perfectly happy doing cut down as GP-advised to 1 bottle, 2 glasses and then 1 before nothing each evening AND I CAN, but I keep being sabotaged by family shit, and resetting the dial.

Was superhappy having done this today, proud to be awake (after insomnia) not hungover, bit late for work but switched on more, happy days.

Nice quiet drink with Mum (my back to 1 before nothing) and my Dad letting me down subsequently although he did after turn up to help made me cry and just want to get boxed. Other shit too - none abusive, just misunderstanding.

It is my family that I love that are the ones make me want to get shitfaced. What to do? You might think that friends influence is more, but it actually isn't true.

Help? I will happily hand out Opal Fruits but might keep Pacers in reserve

Hello fanta welcome to the mad bus. Awesome babes here.

I was also drinking up to 2 bottles of wine a night and have been battling for years to do something about it. I don't find it easy at all.

I have blamed everyone and everything the past 2 decades for my drinking. But at the end of the day no one is forcing the wine down my throat. There are many other people who deal with way more shit than I have had to deal with and don't drink. So I've had to put aside all my 'reasons' for drinking and just focus on not drinking. I'm so used to drinking as the default to any stress, anxiety, unhappiness (anything really) and I'm having to relearn how to live and deal with all that stuff without resorting to wine. Drinking is such an easy option for me. And I really miss it. But it's killing me. So I can't.

Stay here and keep posting. This bus has been an enormous help to me.
x

Fanta hi and welcome back to the bus. I would agree with you that families are often the biggest triggers for wanting to get shitfaced. Even if they don't intend to upset you they have a way of leaning on your buttons to cause that drinking reflex. But, I agree with soc, the bottom line is we need to find a different response. Families are unlikely to change their ways so it means we are going to have to.

It sounds like you have taken control of your situation pretty well, got guidance from your GP and are working a pretty successful reduction. If you are down to the final glass then I assume the next step would be nothing at all. Even if you have gone backwards tonight, you can revert back to one tomorrow I would think? Stay with us, there is great support here from lots of people with similar stories. They are helping me put 1 af day onto another one and I am doing ok. More progress than I have made for years.

Mouse it sounds like a very intense time, so glad to hear your dh is being such a support to you. I really hope things get a little better for you all soon x

Sweetie. I hope you (and the baby next door) get some sleep tonight

Spanna how did your day go? Had to smile at your Houdini hamster! I don't think gerbils are as smart as hamsters, it's the 8 year old's door shutting memory I have issues with

Hi to Anne, why, rural, obrigada, Faire, kotinka, mama, fated, Ma, Im, hope and all other babes.

mouse its a comfort that your DH is there to take care of you, my heart goes out to you honey if I was there I'd wrap you up in a fluffy blanket bring you warm drinks and hot food, mouse my lovely please look after yourself.

I get the not drinking at the hight of a stressfull time
When I was at court nearly lost my dc I did not drink close to the hearing

Hugs hugs and shit loads of hugs x

mouse it must be so hard not being able to do much to help, but in your own way you are helping your dad just by being there to talk, and allowing him to say whatever he needs to say. He obviously feels totally comfortable being able to open up his emotions to you, and that will help just by being there to listen.

But then you also have to offload onto someone else, and don't forget your kids too, DD may be at the age where she bottles it up and refuses to talk about it. And Nemo will pick up on the atmosphere and emotions. It's great that you are all such a close, loving family.

Good morning babes and welcome fanta
Just a quick check in, day 2 for me.
Congratulations to all babes who are keeping the WW at bay. So many positive stories. Beaches soc why and so many others . You give me hope
I will not be drinking today

You are kind rural, imagine me giving someone else hope! .

fanta I hope I didn't come across as 'lecturing', I really do know how hard it is and am trying to work out ways to re-think the whole habit/reaction thing too. I hope you come back

Somehow the days are adding up but I do feel like I am denying myself something that I really want. This (in my head) means I am earning a reward and we all know where that is going to go..... A bit like bingeing after a diet. I am trying to focus on the benefits, not least of all less self loathing, and see that as the reward in itself, but I know the whispers are still there, ready to congratulate me for doing so well with a bottle of wine.

Not today. Today I am not drinking.

Hope you are all taking care of yourselves today xx

Today I'm not drinking day 3 ;)

Day 4

Well done Im and sweetie*
Stick with us [fanta] Lets beat that WW today.

fanta you have Pacers?

I am very upset at the mo. Ds wouldnt go to school today because of the fall ou with other boy(Tom). DH honoured our car share agreement and dropped other boy at school as planned and told him DS wouldnt be in today.
Today DS has been receiving texts and voice mails from kids calling him a sciver . He hasnt given his number out to anyone as he hasnt really been friendly enough with anyone yet. The only person who had is number is Tom - for car share reasons. I am trying to be reasonable - Tom is an 11 year old boy - but I want to go round there and rip his fucking head off! I have an appointment with guidance tomorrow.
DH contacted Toms mum who I have known for many years and she said the text number that DS received isnt Toms but if she finds out he is behind this she will "go through him!" He was bullied himself a lot at Primary and it seems the victim has become the bully now.
I dont know what to do. I know DS and Tom had a row and both were at fault with a fair old bit of name calling going on on both sides but this seems to be a whole new dimension!

Oh ma that sounds awful , no wonder you are upset, you are his Mum and you just want things to be easy for him. It does sound like this boy Tom is behind the calls or at least provided the number to others for some reason. I don't have any useful suggestions, having not faced anything like this before but sending some trans Atlantic support and sympathy xx

Transatlantic . (not some cross dressing ocean )

Hi all

Ma that's a tough one. It sounds like Tom may have given your ds's number to others so you might have to keep an eye on what texts he receives. Anything nasty or inappropriate should be kept to show to school. They usually come down hard on cyber bullying - but make sure ds doesn't send any back or he will be in trouble too.

What about getting the two boys together to talk out their dispute, with adult support and see if they can put it behind them and move on?

update - have had toms mum on the phone absolutely furious about the whole situation and putting Tom through her interrogation technique.I've never heard anyone so angry! He is going tp be one sorry puppy by the time she has finished with him.
transpires there is another boy involved whise phone they used...I think Tom has been used as the dupe here altho he has certainly been part of it.
Think other boy is ringleader.
sorry for typos am on crappy laptop. ds says not going to school tomorrow...sigh

ma that is tough for ds, and bloody rough for you too Is there any kind of mediation service where your ds, and Tom and your families can speak in a supported place - so that ds and Tom understand the impact of their behaviour? (I know your ds is not to blame, but his refusing to go to school is something that he is making a decision about...)

mouse hoping you are well and safe, and supported by those who love you xx

and now the cat has just caught another mouse. two in tow days both in the kitchen. We appear to have lodgers.