I have posted on other threads and had my own about revenge affairs but I am struggling so much I need to talk to someone in the same boat. My husband cheated with a colleague five months ago, he drove to her house twice and had sex with her. I have looked her up on facebook, she is not particularly attractive, looks intelligent though and normal enough, I just keep obsessing over why she would do this. After lots of counselling and talking, I have his ideas on what happened for him but for her I just don't get it. She is older, has a good job, very educated , why would she knowingly wreck my life?
I do know this is all about him choosing to do it I just find this anger towards her harder to deal with , I suppose because his life is as wrecked as mine, I think he has and is being punished but she has just walked away and nothing has changed.
Anyone know how to stop obsessing ? What if I bump into her one day or see her name somewhere like she is a friend of a friend or something like that on facebook? I don't think I could cope. Please be nice, I am feeling really down I think I feel worse than I did initially. I can't bear the thought of feeling like this for years and it never being gone.